arsenal vs portsmouth

despite missing el capitan cesc fabregas, the gooners shit all over portsmouth in their own stadium today. the boy rambo (is he 19 yet?) has been making a convincing case as a midfield general, showcasing ridiculous passing ability, positional sense, and most importantly the ability to score. he cleverly set up samir nasri's strike to make it 2-0, and bagged a solo goal that made me wet my pants. in addition, alex song capped off an excellent defensive performance with a beautiful header to cap off a 4-1 win.

all in all, it was an excellent evening that made me momentarily forget that my old lady is out of town and i haven't gotten any in over a week.

the goals:

AFC North Championship ≠ Respect

wtf?

Two days after the Bengals clinched the AFC North crown and were awarded their first prime-time game of the season, the Pro Bowl ballots were released.

So the Bengals were going to get a few guys in there right? I mean, Cedric Benson missed a few games but his numbers are still great, so he'll at least be the third running back, right?

Jonathan Joseph and Leon Hall are the only pair of corners in the league with 6 INTs each, and both rank in the top 10 in passes defensed. So at least one of them is in right?

Cases could also be made for Dhani Jones, who leads the team with the number four overall defense in tackles, Domata Peko, interior defensive linesman for the number two run defense and Bobbie Williams, Cincinnati's best offensive lineman. Even Ochocinco should be in the conversation with a nine TD season.

But instead not a goddamn one of them made it. Every team in the AFC excepting Kansas City and Cincinnati is sending at least one player.

I have to hope this serves as inspiration for the Bengals heading into the playoffs. It actually fits coach Marvin Lewis' mantra of "Fight Back" quite well.

AFC North Championship = respect

After a terrible first half offensively, the Bengals pulled together a respectable effort, beat a bad Chiefs team, and clinched their division.

As the snow began to fall, the Bengals began celebrating their second division crown of the Marvin Lewis era. Awful looking graphics filled the stadium, the Black Eyed Peas were played (I'll bet you can guess which song), and AFC-North 2009 Championship tee-shirts flooded the Pro Shop.

Chants of Who-Dey could be heard all around Cincinnati. So much so that people outside of Cincinnati finally heard the call.

It took literally the entire season, but the Bengals finally landed a prime-time game!

In the last week of the season there is no Monday Night Football game, and the Sunday Night game isn't announced until a week before the game. This is to ensure that the best possible matchup lands the spot, as many teams are eliminated from the playoffs by then. With the Jets facing a win-and-you're-in scenario, and the Bengals chasing a higher seed than the Patriots, the powers in New York decided to put Bengals-Jets in the final prime-time spot of the regular season.

I was ready to write a post about the Bengals getting overlooked by a national audience, possibly due to some sort of conspiracy theory. After all, the Browns - who finished a half game worse than the Bengals last season - had TWO primetime games, a Thursday nighter against the Steelers and a Monday Night Football showdown with the Ravens.

The Raiders got a Monday Night game against the Chargers, and the Thanksgiving game against the Cowboys despite being only a half game ahead of the Bengals last year.

A lot of mediocre teams from last year received multiple primetime games as well. The Redskins, Broncos, and Packers each got two or more despite finishing at or below .500. Was there really no room for the Bengals?

Well there is now. We'll see Sunday night if the Bengals can finish the season with a bang. If they do, it will be the final game ever played in Giants stadium, and the first time Cincinnati has ever won there.

This rant is over.

Tony Allen throws it down on Corey Brewer

It wasn't but a week and a half ago when Corey Brewer threw it down hard on Derek Fisher, but this time around it was Brewer on the receiving end. Although I can't stand him, Eddie House makes a great steal and then saves the ball from going out of bounds with a beautiful behind the back pass. Tony Allen catches the pass and throws it down hard on Brewer.

awesome

andrei as marty mcfly dodging stevie gerrard and his liverpool teammates, and covering them in shit. makes me feel slightly better after the draw at burnley. love eboue's cameo as the shopkeeper!
z

Cheering Up

Alright.

It's been a really rough day for Bengals fans.

I think we could all use a break from death and grief.

Here's the best diversion I could come up with.

Slim wouldn't want y'all to sit around crying

It's OK to laugh a little right now.

We need it.

Peace.

RIP Slim

I'm sure everyone's heard by now, but Chris Henry died this morning at 6:36 am after a dispute with his fiancee yesterday in Charlotte, in which he fell off the back of a pick-up truck that she was driving. I don't even know what to say, man. I really had faith that he could one day be a consistent contributor for the Bengals and it seemed like this was going to be the year prior to him breaking his arm. This is truly a tragic day. Let's hope the tigers can run the table the rest of the season and win it all in Miami as a tribute to Slim.

LeBron Trophy

It's almost the end of the year and it's time for Dank-Game to reflect.

First on the docket will be the award for the best writing on Dank Game this year.

After careful consideration we decided that since we're all Ohioans, and there aren't enough of us doing this shit done, we should name our award after Cleveland Cavaliers living legend and Ohio native LeBron James.

So let us know if SlimMcFavorite's NBA musings, Teenage_Mustache's NFL observations, newcomer Nick Perkins' additions, or occasional sneaker news from Sean has been the most interesting to you this year.

I guess if you wanted to, you could nominate ANDY HAMS too, but honestly, that dude kind of sucks. I mean, he covers soccer. He probably likes baseball too.

Beasley making big plays on both ends

After watching most of the Heat's brutal blowout loss to the Grizzlies, I couldn't bring myself to watch the Heat vs. Raptors game last night. Thankfully, they turned things around against the Raptors with a blow out win of their own and Michael Beasley had a huge game, tying his career high with 28 points (he hasn't scored 30 yet, seriously?!?) and pulling down 11 rebounds. The above sequence is encouraging and I hope to see more of this from Mike.

LOLZ!!!

stuckey fuckin' murks AI on this one:

still real excited about dude. interested to see what he could do with the right people around him...

***edit - i would like to put a moratorium on all dank game lebron dicksucking. i know were ohioans and all, but c'mon. there are millions of people out there doing this shit for us, we do not need to acknowledge his talent. i would prefer that we highlight examples of his supreme bitchassness, which are ample. dude needs to man up on the real. they already changed the rules to let him travel (crab dribble!), call anything that resembles a foul on him and force the announcers to felate him at all times. let's get fucking real.

Jock Jams New Years

Let's get ready to rumble!

Dank Game is proud to present a New Years Eve to remember. Be at Reis Court in Mayfield Arena at 10:30 pm on Thursday, December 31st to celebrate the arrival of 2010.

And remember to wear a jersey!

Ya'll ready for this?!?

T-Wolves spoil Deron Williams' big night

After big wins last week against the Spurs, Lakers, and Magic, the Jazz fell to the Timberwolves for the second time this season. Despite the loss, Deron Williams posted a career high in points with 38 and he also dropped 13 dimes with only 1 turnover. He just couldn't manage to knock down the potential game winner.

I mainly wanted to do this post because of the slick move Deron pulls at the 0:16 mark on the above video. On a 2-on-2 fast break, Williams does a behind-the-back pass fake that Corey Brewer bites on just enough to give Williams room for a beautiful finger roll finish. Williams really doesn't get enough credit outside of true hoop fans. He's yet to make an All Star team, which is downright shameful. If he were in the East, I'm sure he'd have made multiple All Star teams by now. Unfortunately, the presence of point guards in the West like Chris Paul and Steve Nash could likely keep him from making it yet again this year.

Williams is also one of the best players in the league at the crossover. His lateral quickness is off the charts. Check these two videos from a recent game against the Lakers. You can find tons of more videos on youtube of Deron breaking ankles. I love them green throwback unis, by the way.

Down but not out

OK, we've all had a chance to digest Cincinnati's 30-10 loss to the Vikings yesterday, and it's time to approach the situation with some clarity.

The team mostly looked bad, especially on offense. Too many penalties, too little pass protection, and an offense that was too conservative (with the exception being the first touchdown drive) doomed the Bengals pretty early in the day. Although the defense held the Vikings in striking distance most of the day, the inability of the offense to stay on the field and score points would eventually doom them to their worst performance of the year.

It seems most local and national coverage is already giving up on the tigers. This was supposedly their preview of postseason football, and the Bengals clearly failed. Plus, this team hasn't won a playoff game since 1990 (the longest draught in the league, naturally). So while I don't necessarily blame them, I think I can see a bigger picture.

After each of the Bengal's losses, they have responded very well the next week. After Denver, they came and beat the Green Bay Packers in Lambeau. At the time the Pack were the darlings of the preseason, and even now they're almost certainly a playoff team. This was a total win, with great offensive and defensive efforts

After the somewhat embarrassing loss to the Texans, the Bengals responded by destroying the Chicago Bears. This was clearly the high water mark for this offense, and should be a reminder of what can be done, but far too often isn't.

Lastly, after a totally embarrassing loss to the Raiders (I think this is embarassing - the Raiders are hard to figure out - they did beat Philly and Pittsburgh, too), the Bengals responded by totally controlling the Browns game. Although they didn't score a lot of points, it never looked like the Browns would seriously threaten the lead.

Well, I guess back to back games against two of the league's four worst teams, maybe the Bengals had gone a little soft. Really though, it comes at a good time. Even with the loss, Cincinnati would still steal the 2nd seed in the playoffs from the Chargers with a win, plus another win or two to close the season.

Because optimism for this team isn't running high right now, this isn't the scenario that most people are looking at. Analysts have been using any number of stats to point to the Bengal's recent futility in the passing game and inability to score touchdowns in the second half even before the Vikings game. Obviously there's some truth to this, but I cannot believe that a nine win team that swept its division is going to be one and done in the playoffs.

Why not? Because last year the team that met that description was the Arizona Cardinals, who made it to the Superbowl.

Be patient, Bengals fans. It's not January yet.

Fast Break Perfection

First off, we have the Cavs with all five players on the floor playing a part in the break. That's how basketball is supposed to be played right there.


Next, we have the Lakers also running the fast break to perfection. It's not quite as impressive as the Cavs' full court break, but that between the legs pass by Odom gives it that Showtime flair.

the genius of jens lehmann, and sweet victory over liverpool

ex-arsenal keeper jens lehmann has always been a complete lunatic, but he has been outdoing himself lately. here, he abandons the goal to piss in a trashcan by the sidelines during a recent match for stuttgart. jens is smart enough to know that you can't effectively tend goal with a full bladder.


lehmann will always be remembered for getting himself sent off in the fucking champions league final (first player ever to do so) for arsenal several years back, and he works his magic in the CL here for stuttgart:


today, jens' successor did what he could to try and throw the game away for us with his complete inability to deal with crosses, but was rescued by liverpool defender glen johnson's hilarious own-goal and andrey arshavin's brilliant strike in the second half:

love his celebration, and the fact that he runs over to wenger for a pat on the head after the goal. relieves me of some of my anxieties that he has completely given up on his career with arsenal. while i would still be surprised if he didn't end up at barcelona after this season, i am glad that he is relishing in his current role as main striker. hopefully he can get us through our van persie-less spell, which looks as though it will be pretty long.

An Open Letter to Brandon Jennings

Dear B Jennings,
I just want to see you get a better than 2 to 1 assist to turnover ratio. Your game tonight against the Blazers was near perfect. You had 11 assists on only 4 turnovers and you didn't have to give up your offense to do it. You still took 17 shots which seems good--hell, you could even take more considering your team's other options. Hopefully you'll get Michael Redd back to normal production, but if you play it just right I think you could get your team to the playoffs without his shots. You just need to remember not to gamble too much and a better than 2 to 1 assist ratio is a great sign of that.

Stay up player, Nicolas Perkins.

PS-You're so close to that 2 to 1 already--5.7 to 3!

Corey Brewer destroys Derek Fisher

Of course the Lakers would go on to win this one, but I'm sure Derek Fisher is still feeling salty after that dunk.

Throwback Posterization: Dirk Minniefield

I just happened to stumble upon this old school dunk by a dude named Dirk Minniefield who played for the Kentucky Wildcats. The video is from sometime between 1979 and 1983. Unfortunately, he's most remembered for blowing a game against rival Louisville in the 1983 NCAA Mideast Regional Final. In the final moments of the game, UK had a small lead and he drove the lane only to be blocked by Louisville center Charles Jones. Louisville tied the game to force overtime and proceeded to take the game over in a 80-68 victory. As a Lexington native, Minniefield heard about this for years to come. To make matters worse, in 2007 he admitted that he and several teammates had smoked weed the night before. He still suspects that the marijuana affected his game. After being drafted by the Mavericks 33rd overall in the 1983 NBA Draft, he would play just three seasons as a journeyman.

But let's get back to that dunk, which I'd much rather him be remembered for. That might be one of the nastiest dunks I've ever seen. Minniefield was only 6'3" and it looks like his head goes above the rim. He does seems to push off the defender's chest somewhat with his knees, but that's still some ridiculous shit. This video has reminded me of other vintage facial dunks, so don't be surprised if "Throwback Posterizations" become a regular here on Dank Game.

Hard Knocks Is on YouTube

FINALLY! Hard Knocks is now on YouTube. The quality is pretty good, and it looks like every episode was split into 5 parts.

I have no idea how this hasn't been taken down yet. But if you missed the thing because you don't have HBO (like me), do yourself a favor and watch these before they get removed!

Friends and loved ones: if you don't hear from me this weekend, you'll know why.

Another Dank Game Conspiracy Theory: The Cosmic Powers of Great Lakes' Christmas Ale

It's been made no secret that us Dank Gamers enjoy beer, and last night was certainly no exception. It began as a typical night of drinking and watching football, but quickly turned into a drunken dream world thanks to Cleveland's infamous Christmas Ale. Not only does it get you drunk faster due to it's 7.5% ABV (Alcohol By Volume), but it also affects the balance of the universe in inexplicable, cosmic ways. Seriously. How else would the Cleveland Browns sack Ben Roethlisberger eight times en route to a 13-6 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers? It's gotta be the Christmas Ale.

I'm sure you're reading this and thinking it's some kind of joke, and I don't blame you for doubting me. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. I have plenty of evidence that proves Christmas Ale is truly an otherworldly beverage that affects Cleveland's sports teams when consumed in high volumes. This isn't the first time we at Dank Game have dabbled in conspiracy theories, and it certainly won't be the last.

Great Lakes only produces Christmas Ale during the holiday season, and the Cleveland Cavaliers have yet to win a championship despite having arguably the most gifted athlete to ever set foot on a basketball court. What's the connection here? If Great Lakes continued to produce Christmas Ale throughout the NBA Playoffs and Cleveland sports fans consumed large quantities of it, I honestly believe that the Cavs would finally bring home the Larry O'Brien Trophy. If only Clevelanders had the self control to ration their Christmas Ale for the playoffs. Of course, that's asking way too much of Clevelanders, though.

Still not convinced? You will be after reading the following paragraph.

According to Wikipedia, there was a shortage of Christmas Ale in 2007 due to high demand and low production owing to a shortage of honey. The very same year, the Browns had a breakthrough season after trading starting quarterback Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks and promoting backup Derek Anderson to a starter. In his first start, Anderson led the Browns to a 51-45 win over the Cincinnati Bengals, tying the franchise record of five touchdown passes in a single game. The Browns would finish the season at 10-6, which was their best record since 1994. Despite these accomplishments, they barely missed the playoffs due to a tie-breaker. What would the Browns' fate have been that season had there not been a shortage of Christmas Ale?

What is it that makes Christmas Ale such a mystical beer? I suspect Great Lakes uses some secret ingredient that allows it to affect Cleveland sports in mysterious ways. They claim that its main ingredients are sweet barley with a hint of cinnamon, ginger, and honey, but I don't think they're letting us know everything. Maybe it's a drop of "water" from the Cuyahoga, or a pinch of talcum powder collected from LeBron James' pregame ritual. Whatever it is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Who wants to join me in a road trip to Cleveland to sneak into the Great Lakes Brewery? I guess we can go to a Cavs game while we're there, too.

Do you trust this man?

If you're not following Chad Ochocinco's Twitter account by now, you're missing out.

The most ridiculous thing about him this season is that for every joke, touchdown celebration, or challenge that comes out of his head - more or less unfiltered - into Twitterdom, he actually follows through on half of them. The most ridiculous example is up first.

A few weeks back, Ochocinco started talking about starting a day care called Child Please Daycare Center. The punchline of this joke: Hours from 7am to kiss the baby. Haha Chad, you were able to work both your 2009 catchphrases into the same joke. The rest of us moved on. Chad upped the ante:

He actually had graphics printed and hung out with some kids. I'm not sure that he actually opened a daycare center, and I hope to God he didn't. Honestly, what parent would send their kid to a caretaker who eats McDonalds for every meal and spends most of his waking hours playing Xbox?

Oy, what's next? Oh yeah, Ochocinco condoms. "They'll catch everything your Johnson shoots," according to Chad. Another good joke, this time working his former name in. When I heard it a month or so ago, I thought I'd heard the last of it. I was wrong:

No word on whether tiger skin condoms are as effective as lambskin, but it would be kind of cool to have a striped penis, right? What's next?

When a Japanese broadcaster that covers the NFL in the far East suggested that Chad change his last name again, this time to the Japanese eight-five translation Haichi Go, I was sure it was just a goof. Chad laughed at the suggestion, and had a uniform made up. But now he posts a picture of it under the banner "coming soon." Can he be the Black Mexican and eat sushi? It'll be hard since they don't have any at McDonalds.

Chad also promised to deliver an all Spanish interview on ESPN. I don't know if he delivered, but he claims his "espanol is on point." No word on whether he'll learn Japanese if he changes his name again.

So what's next for Chad? He says he's going to steal the bugle horn of the Vikings mascot and use it as a prop after he scores a touchdown in Minnesota. Will he do it? I figure there's about a 50% chance.

Who Knows About Computers?

Dank-Gamers.

Help me out!

Something is wrong with my computer.

It started about 11:00 pm Tuesday night. I had finished watching a movie (Thelma and Louise was terrific, thanks for asking) and decided to check out some stuff on the internet.

But something went horribly wrong. After looking at some of my favorite websites and blogs, I looked up some NBA scores. And my screen is telling me that the Memphis Grizzlies beat the Cleveland Cavaliers!

Now I'm no IT guy, but clearly I must have some virus, or some sort of system malfunction on a grand scale. Because I was told the Cavs were basically unbeatable.


HA! Go Thunder, who incidently are back in the playoff picture. Shit, they'd be a 5th seed if they were in the East (read: L'East).

The Nugget Ceiling

Kenyon Martin on the Denver Nuggets has always seemed unexciting to me, even as a long time Cincinnati Bearcats fan. But this year, and last year too, I think Kenyon is finally getting over the injuries that plagued him after he left New Jersey (and hopefully getting over not having the 3-4 easy dunks Jason Kidd got him every game).

Just hearing Kenyon talk defense on hoopshype.com got me excited about the possibilities for this years playoffs: "Could you talk about the defensive mindset that you bring to Denver? Kenyon Martin: Everybody can’t score in the league and you have to be able to do something different. I have always been known as a defensive player, paying attention to detail mostly, helping with the game plan, how we should play pick and rolls or post up. I always tend to draw the assignment of the tough post player. I just try to do all I can to make sure we are successful."

I can almost hear the ghost of Bob Huggins at the Shoe in his voice. And really, with their front line of Martin, Nenê, and the Birdman, I think they can be a damn good defensive team if they strive for it. Especially when you consider Chauncey Billups skills in game management, learned in Detroit from the best in the business, Larry Brown. I mean, the Lakers are great now, it would be extremely tough for the Nuggets to make the NBA finals, but the 2004 Pistons led by Billups beat a Lakers team with arguably more talent than this Lakers team (though certainly not the chemistry of this year). Kenyon thinks they have a chance, check his answer to the question on hoopshype.com: "Can the Nuggets earn a berth in the NBA Finals without making any deals? Kenyon Martin: I think so. We have a great team in place. As long as we get better each and every game we play and every month we play and learn from our mistakes… As long as we get the team to focus in on the defensive end because we can score with anybody in the league… If we lock in on defense, the sky is the limit for us."

Forget the Superbowl Shuffle!

First off, BIG thanks to Cincy Jungle for posting this link, and HUGE thanks to whoever put it on YouTube in the first place.

This was the rap song made by the Superbowl bound 1988 Bengals, written by wide receiver Mike Martin and featuring the likes of Ickey Woods, Soloman Wilcots and other Bengals greats.

So bear with me as I stumble through my first Hiphop article on Dank Game:

For starters, this song kicks the shit out of the 1985 Bears' "Superbowl Shuffle." The beat is actually listenable, the lyrics are a little less trite, the chorus is catchier, the rapping is much smoother, they have one guy that can actually sing pretty soulfully, and they kept the white players out of the recording studio.

Speaking of the recording studio, it made a much better setting than the awful looking blue smoking lounge the 1985 Bears shot in. Plus the editing was actual interesting to watch. Props to Local 12 in Cincinnati for putting the thing together.

I once heard the "Superbowl Shuffle" accused of setting back Chicago's rap scene by 10 years. Alternately, I'm pretty sure this song set up the all too brief golden age of Cincinnati rap, leading to Scribble Jam, producer Hi-Tek, and that Mood group that hiphoppers from Cincy are always talking about.

Dank-Gamers, how'd I do? Should I keep writing about rap?

///

Unrelated, but awesome:

OchoCinco posted a picture of the Bengals Snuggie he had made to his Twitter account:

"Sometimes I have a weak stream."

Further proof that Steve Nash is hilarious.

Lions Loss Leaps Bengals to winning season

For the first time since 2005, and only the second time since 1991 (this goddamn team) the Bengals will finish with a winning record.

Beating the Detroit Lions isn't much of an accomplishment, but the game is still riddled with meaning for Cincinnati.

For starters, Marvin Lewis tied franchise founder Paul Brown for 2nd most wins by a coach in club history. As noted above, it also guarantees them a winning season, with their record now notched at 9-3 - tied for second best in the AFC. We also saw the successful return of running back Cedric Benson, and first round pick offensive tackle Andre Smith got playing time for his second NFL game.

Furthermore, with Pittsburgh losing to Oakland and Baltimore possibly losing to Green Bay tonight, only one more win may be necessary to ensure an AFC North crown for the Bengals.

However, this game was boring! The first half was kind of exciting, but the second was slow and painful. Detroit's offense looked terrible after starting the game strong, and the Bengals probably could have posted about 14 more points had it not been for needless interceptions from Carson Palmer. On the plus side, I didn't mind watching the Bengals defense pound quarterback Matt Stafford into the ground repeatedly - welcome to the Jungle indeed.

So I am going to celebrate Brian Leonard for his 100th leap over a defender (unofficial stat). WhoDeyRevolution call him the "White Weapon," a nickname that absolutely needs to catch on. He only gets two or three carries per game, but he makes them count. If you Google Image Search the guy, at least a third of the pictures are of him leaping over would-be tacklers - a trend that dates back to at least his Rutgers days.

So the unnofficial Dank-Game player of the week is Brian Leonard, with Chad "taking the Black Mexican thing really seriously" Ochocinco a close second.

Hang in there, big guy

Greg Oden will likely be out for the rest of the season after fracturing his left knee cap in a collision with Rockets guard Aaron Brooks in the first quarter of a 90-89 Blazers win. After an MRI, the Blazers have reported he will need surgery and they have given no timetable for his return. The injury is yet another dent to Portland's roster, which has been plagued by injuries. Starting small forward Nicholas Batum needed shoulder surgery before the season began and forward Travis Outlaw fractured his right foot in November and will also undergo surgery. Guard Rudy Fernandez is also out with sciatic pain and is scheduled for an MRI.

You can't help but feel sorry for Oden after missing his entire rookie season and twenty some games last season. He seems like such a nice dude, who's worked hard to stay healthy. I've really wanted to see him succeed after all of the whispers that he's just another Sam Bowie. Sure, in hindsight the Blazers probably should have picked Kevin Durant instead of Oden, much like they should have picked Jordan instead of Bowie in '84, but you can't blame them for using their number one pick on a big man. Quality centers are so hard to come by these days and if Oden could stay healthy, I'm sure he would eventually develop into one of the best big men in the league. Oden was averaging 11.7 points and 8.8 rebounds as a starter this season, which aren't overwhelming numbers, but solid nonetheless. Plus, he affects games in ways that don't show up in the box score. For instance, his presence alone in the paint is enough to make players think twice about driving to the hoop. Coach Nate McMillain has even said that he was Portland's most consistent player so far this season, which is quite the compliment for such a deep team that features an All Star guard in Brandon Roy.

I hope that this setback will just motivate him to come back even stronger and more focused, but you can't help but wonder if Oden will ever be able to stay healthy for an entire season. At least he has an adorable dog to hang out with.

I'm ready to leave L.A. now

As some of you know, I'm in L.A. right now. After watching this game at a lame sports bar by

myself, I'm ready to come back to Ohio. God damn it, that was heartbreaking. Kobe even said it

was his luckiest shot.

LeBron James: The Making of an MVP

An excerpt from the new book LeBron James: The Making of an MVP by sportswriters Terry Pluto and Brian Windhorst of the Cleveland Plain Dealer has been featured on the ESPN blog Truehoop. The excerpt is from the 18th chapter of the book called "I Have to be 10 Times Better" and it describes LeBron's reaction to the Spurs sweeping the Cavs in the 2007 NBA Finals. It was an eye-opening moment for LeBron in which he realized the Cavs simply weren't good enough at the time to win it all. His response was to keep improving himself both on and off the court... some true motivational shit, if you will.

Cavs Suns

Lebron's game against the Suns on Wednesday was a typical bad game for James. He only took 15 shots for the game, making 6. He never really looked comfortable from the floor until that sick fall away shot he hit right before he came out. No other player affects the game like Lebron when having a bad game. He wasn't a scorer, but he didn't need to be. He had 8 rebounds and 10 assists on 3 turnovers. Now 8 rebounds might not seem like much for some teams, but the Cavs are such a great rebounding team 8 is no slouch for real. I mean look at the rest of the team: Shaq with 9, Hickson and Varejao with 8 as well. There are only so many opportunities for boards on a team like this, you can't take 'em from you own team... unless you're Zach Randolph. Seriously, you put Lebron on a team like Golden State and, I swear, he'd get at least 10 a game. Lebron's assist numbers are a career high and it's no wonder with the depth on this team: Anthony Parker can hit the open three, Shaq on the block, plus everyone from last year. I mean, sure Shaq is old (he kinda looks like George Foreman now, right?), but they only gave up Ben Wallace and Sascha Pavlovic to get him—that's a steal. Color me excited about the Lebronaliers! Look at that D! Held the best offensive team in the league, according to them John Holligner stats on espn.com, to only ninety points, ah ah ah, ah yeah.

It's official: Ron Artest is crazier than Ochocinco

Finally, we have a winner. I'm sure the battle will still go on, but with the latest news about Ron Artest, you can now rest assured that Ron Ron is crazier than Ochocinco. In an interview with Sporting News Magazine, Artest said that he used to drink Hennessy at halftime while playing for the Bulls. Seriously. Now, I know Chad Ochocinco is pretty crazy, but with this news, he now just seems eccentric relative to Artest. Ochocinco is going to have to go to great lengths to catch up to Ron on this one. I'm talking crystal meth or PCP during halftime.

In the interview, Ron discussed other crazy shit he did in his past, like being a "single" pimp as a 19-year-old attending St. John's. I don't know why he specifies that he was a single pimp (hence the quotes), as I thought all pimps were single, unless you count their bottom bitch as a significant other.

The ball's back in your court, Mustache. I'll be astounded if you find a way to rebound from this one. By the way, what's up in the NFL?

Can't spell Philadelphia without A.I.

In an unlikely reunion, Allen Iverson has officially signed with the Philadelphia 76ers. After playing for the Sixers for 10 years, his tenure ended in 2006 with him feuding with former head coach Maurice Cheeks and refusing to play the fourth quarter of his final game against the Bulls. And now, he's back after a brief "retirement" following a three game stint with the Memphis Grizzlies.

With guard Lou Williams out with a broken jaw and rookie Jrue Holiday the only other capable point guard, Iverson has been guaranteed a starting spot. Apparently, when coach Eddie Jordan told Iverson he would like for him to start, Iverson was "like a kid on Christmas." I'm sure if he had been told he wasn't starting he would have acted like a kid on X-Mas who didn't get a PSP, or whatever it is the kids want these days.

So, is this really a basketball move or a business move? Team president Ed Stefanski insists that it's not simply to improve Philly's poor tickets sales this season, but I think it's pretty obvious that it is a move to get the city excited for the team again. The Sixers have lost seven straight games and look to be on their way to a loss to 'Stache's OKC Thunder as I write this. Apparently it has the city buzzing, as people have been calling into radio stations to talk about the signing. Whatever the motivation is for this move, I can't say I blame the Sixers for giving it a try. It's not a huge risk financially, and I'm guessing that the transition will be easy for Iverson due to the nostalgia. And let's face it, the Sixers aren't contending for shit this year, so they might as well have done it in hopes of getting a return from ticket and jersey sales. And if it actually does help the team, great.

The last remaining question is whether Iverson's isolation style of play will fit in with coach Eddie Jordan's Princeton offense, which puts an emphasis on ball movement. The Sixers' marquee player Andre Iguodala has even brought up this very issue when questioned about Iverson prior to the signing. Will Eddie Jordan move forward with his offense or try to adapt to Iverson's style? Despite his reputation to dominate the ball, Iverson does have a career average of 6.2 assists per game, so maybe he can find a way to fit in. But you also have to take into account that he has averaged 41.4 minutes per game over his career, which inflates his stats. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. I just hope that this can lead to Iverson ending his career on a respectable note, because it has definitely been rough for him since arriving in Detroit, even if it is largely his own stubbornness that got him there.

In4mation & Vans team up for some fly shit

I'm in L.A. right now, so you can be sure I've seen my fair share of Vans around. In fact, I copped me a pair of navy suede Eras in the LBC. While I'm definitely still feeling my new kicks, this pair of Chukka Lows has got me craving another pair of Vans. Teaming up with the skateboarding company In4mation, Vans has delivered one fresh looking pair of sneakers right here. I'm really feeling the blue canvas with red accents and brown gum sole. The houndstooth interior is a nice touch as well. These will release December 12 at the In4mation retail store and their online store.

Check out Nice Kicks for more photos, as usual.