A New Dank Game Rivalry Is Upon Us...

And it features Dank Game's top two teams from the "Who We Rep" sidebar. I thought the Thunder/Heat Dank Game rivalry was going to be legendary, but it looks like the Wade/Lebron vs. T. Ocho rivalry could be even better. I find it funny that Chris Bosh is completely left out. Maybe Bosh could be included by getting Carson involved. I'm guessing he could ball, right? Hmmm, on second thought, maybe not so much. Perhaps hoops is more of Jordan Palmer's thing. Y'know, the more I think about it, I'm starting to think Jordan wouldn't be all that great either. I think the Palmer brothers are off the hook on this one. But maybe Marvin Lewis got game?

While I'm at it, here's a clip of T.O. throwing down an oop at Rucker Park followed by some guy appropriately named Miles High dunking on him.

A Belated OKC perspective on "The Decision"

I'm not here to lampoon LeBron James and his ludicrus "The Decision" ESPN special. Dank Game, among many, many others, has done that plenty already.

Instead I've allowed a little time to pass, hopefully instilling reason into my OKC-themed reaction. So here it goes:

Kevin Durant will be the 2010-11 NBA MVP. And the runner-up will probably be Kobe Bryant.

Here's why:

James won MVP honors as the defacto leader of a Cavaliers team built around him. And it is a regular season award, so any talk of him not truly stepping up in the playoffs is inconsequential. LeBron was the undisputed focus of the team that won the most regular season ball games in the NBA in the 2009-10 season.

And the runner up was Kevin Durant, from the somewhat more team-oriented Oklahoma City Thunder. OKC was only able to muster an 8th seed in a crowded Western Conference, but coming off a truly bad debut season for the OKC franchise the year before, Durant quickly reestablished himself as a young superstar. He cemented this status by supplanting James as the NBA scoring leader and again winning the All-Star weekend HORSE competition (I know nobody cares about that, but I love mentioning it).

So now, with the "Three Headed Monster" in Miami, how can James (or Wade and Bosh for that matter) truly put up MVP stats? LeBron's points per game will almost have to go down, as the offense will no longer depend on him nearly every possession; the days of him playing point-forward should be over. Although his post-season aspirations should benefit as a result of this, the fact remains James is no longer the heart and soul of his team.

But Durant is. And unless Kobe has a season that makes him look a decade younger, Durant should easily be able to repeat as scoring champion. With the Lakers getting another year older, the window is opening for the Thunder, and I definitely see them enough games (55?) to put them in the top half of the West. That coupled with his prolific scoring ability will push Kevin Durant to an MVP season.

And Kobe, the likely runner-up, will have to watch as the West begins to slip away from his Lakers.

Oh Cleveland!

Could Delonte Heat Up Potential LA vs. Miami Rivalry?

Rumor has it that the Lakers are close to acquiring Delonte West. Apparently LA had been trying to trade Sasha "The Machine" Vujacic and a draft pick for West to rid themselves of Vujacic's salary. West was traded to Minnesota on Tuesday and is expected to have his contract bought out by the Timberwolves, making him a free agent. If the Lakers can move Vujacic, sources say the Lakers will sign him.

This acquisition would be interesting for several reasons. First off, if the rumors about Delonte's affair with LeBron's mother Gloria James are indeed true, it will add a new layer to the potential rivalry between the Heat and the Lakers. Gloria James might be torn between who to support if the two teams end up meeting come next June.

Another reason this would be interesting is that the Lakers would have arguably the two most insane players in the NBA on one roster in Ron Artest and Delonte. West just recently pleaded guilty to traffic and weapons charges after having been pulled over on a three-wheeled motorcycle and found with a 9mm Beretta pistol, .357 Magnum and a Remington 870 in a guitar case back in September. He was sentenced to electronic monitoring, unsupervised probation, 40 hours of community service and psychological counseling. At this point, you might even say West is crazier then Artest.

Lastly, this acquisition would be interesting because it sets up a potential reality show for West if he winds up in Hollywood. Maybe it couldn't get off the ground until he's off probation, but the opportunity is there now that he's out of boring old Cleveland. I mean, who wouldn't want to watch Delonte rap in fast food drive-thrus on television. And if we're really lucky, maybe Artest and West could join forces to make a reality show of the NBA's craziest players. In fact, "Artest and West" would be a pretty good name for the show, although I do really like Artest's forthcoming reality show's name: "They Call Me Crazy."

LeBron Cavs Gear All The Rage With South Beach Homeless

According to Sports Illustrated, Clevelander Beau Miller has started a campaign with three of his friends to collect LeBron James jerseys and clothing, which will be sent to homeless shelters in South Beach.

"It's like any breakup," Miller said. "You want to give all your stuff back."

The past week Cleveland fans have been donating their LeBron gear to Yours Truly Restaurants in Northeast Ohio.

I would have assumed that they would have a poor turnout considering that the majority of Cavs fans burned their LeBron jerseys, but Miller says that the response has been "extraordinary."

Miller and his friends saw the heartbreaking situation in Cleveland as an opportunity to do something positive. In addition to donating LeBron gear to South Beach homeless shelters, they also started a website called breakupwithlebron.com, where they are selling T-shirts that say "It's Not Us, It's You." Proceeds from the $15 shirts are going to the Cleveland City Mission, although it appears the website is no longer online, so uh, never mind that.

With Cleveland's economy on the decline, it surprises me that they didn't decide to donate the LeBron gear to local shelters. But then again, you can never underestimate the pride of Clevelanders, as their local homeless would probably scoff at the idea of wearing a LeBron jersey. Even though this is meant to be a good cause, I get the feeling the effort is just as much out of spite as it is goodwill. I'm sure Clevelanders would be satisfied if images of homeless people wearing LBJ Cavs jerseys haunted LeBron's dreams as he tries to sleep in his new South Beach mansion.

LeBron James' Wrestling Career

Probably people have seen this already (as is usually my experience with YouTube videos), but this is actually pretty funny. Basically, if the NBA were the WWE this is what it would be like. It makes me think that maybe NBA superstars should talk like professional wrestlers.

Even though the AppleTalk replacement dialogue is stupid, the things that LBJ is supposedly saying about Ohio are pretty funny. My favorite part is Bosh in the Cowboy hat though.



Sorry to take you away from Dank Game's regularly scheduled content of little football helmets dotting the screen.

Big Z Bolts for South Beach

Cleveland fan favorite Zydrunas Ilgauskus has followed suit to join LeBron James in Miami. Big Powder, as he is known on Dank Game, turned down an offer from Cleveland to help fill out the Heat's frontline. It's possible that he will sign a one-year deal, but Z is hoping to come to terms on a two-year deal.

I'm not sure how much he will sign for but I'm hoping it's the veteran's minimum because Miami can use all the cap space they can get. I think Z could fit in well with the Heat because his main strength is knocking down baseline jumpers and he will likely have a lot of open looks. Obviously he and LeBron have a close relationship, so it might help ease the transition for James.

I was hoping the Heat would find a center who is more of a banger down low. Hopefully there will be enough funds left to bring Jamaal Magloire back, who fits the description of a "banger" to a tee. Dwyane Wade likes Magloire, so it wouldn't surprise me to see him return on the cheap.

Ilgauskus has never played anywhere besides Cleveland in his 14-year career, so it will be hard for him to leave the city behind. He plans to keep a home in Cleveland and says he would like to be a part of the organization after he retires. We'll see how receptive Cavaliers brass will be to that since he's following LeBron to Miami.

Haslem Sacrifices a Buttload of Money to Return to Miami

The Miami Heat's blue collar power forward Udonis Haslem has decided to return to his hometown team despite receiving offers from Dallas and Denver that could have been up to $35 million over five seasons. Haslem instead signed a five-year deal with the Heat for around $20 million. In regards to leaving such a large sum of money on the table, Haslem said, "I would be changing my DNA if I was leaving just for money."

Pat Riley has made no secret that he has a big boner for Haslem's gritty, selfless playing style, as he has stated time and again that retaining Haslem during the offseason was one of his biggest priorities. Former #2 draft pick Michael Beasley was spared in order to keep Haslem in Miami, with Beasley being traded to Minnesota for two second round picks. While Beasley has the potential to be a more productive player than Haslem, the Heat are clearly in win-now mode and Haslem is better suited for this, especially because of his defense.

I must say that Haslem's return makes me feel much better about carrying on as a Heat fan in the wake of the arrival of the big three. I think Haslem's willingness to return for much less money says something for the Miami Heat as an organization.

A Miami Heat Fan's Reaction To "The Decision"

If there's one word to describe how I feel about the arrival of LeBron James to South Beach, it's conflicted. Obviously bringing LeBron to the Heat is an excellent basketball move, and Pat Riley deserves all the praise in the world for pulling off the greatest heist in NBA history, but as a Heat fan soaking this all in right now I just feel, well, dirty.

I feel dirty for rubbernecking through that entire broadcast last night, watching as Cleveland fans' hearts were scraped from the asphalt after LeBron announced "The Decision." I feel dirty because, at the expense of the Cleveland faithful, my favorite team has transformed like Voltron into a Yankees-esque super team.

While true Miami Heat fans like myself do deserve a winning team after sitting through one year of atrocious Heat basketball (2007-08) and the following two years of expiring contract mediocrity, Cleveland fans certainly don't deserve this. I would have been completely content with Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade surrounded by role players in Miami, while LeBron continued to toil away in Cleveland. But clearly, LeBron wasn't content with that fate.

Now my favorite team will forever be linked to that ridiculous broadcast last night. It seemed as if the King was a mere pawn during The Decision, as many are speculating that LeBron's marketing team LRMR pushed him into making his choice on live television. LeBron was clearly uncomfortable and flustered with his speech, at one point saying, "One thing you can't control is you never know." Maybe that's some way out there transcendental shit that's over my head, like some George Harrison lyrics or something, but my best bet is that LeBron was so caught up in the moment that he hardly knew what he was saying.

I understand and respect LeBron's choice to join Wade and Bosh with the Heat, but the television special was a huge misstep by him and his camp. Although it did raise millions of dollars through advertising for the Boys and Girls Club of America, there has to have been another way to give back to charity that spared LeBron's former fan base. As Dank Game's own Teenage Soul Patch has been quick to point out, Kevin Durant signed a lucrative long-term contract with the Thunder without any of the hype. Of course LeBron's decision carried a lot more weight, but he certainly could learn a thing or two from Durant's humility.

Funny Bengals Tweets - Lebron James Edition

Given the circumstances in Ohio and the chatter on Twitter I've decided to bring you a LeBron James/Cavaliers/Heat version of Funny Bengals Tweets.

Former offensive lineman Willie Anderson (WillAnderson79) joked:

• He's gon stay in Cleveland tomorrow night[.] I mean so he can Pack!
  
• My Bday is Sun. I was gon hold a hour long special to let everyone know of my decision of where I'm going.
• So Does Dwade have to watch Lebron throw powder in the air every game?
  

Former defensive tackle Shaun Smith (sjs91) chimed in:

• Everyone get over it[.] the state [o]f Ohio will never win the big games so good luck.

Defensive tackle Tank Jonson (TankJohnson99) is crazy:

• Does anyone know where Lebron went? I been on jupiter ice fishin 4 star fish! Just landed from jupiter international! #GreetinEarthlingz

Wide receiver and punt returner Quan Cosby had a good point:

• Not gonna get into this too much but LB just nailed that live interview! Answered every ? Perfect, only thing wrong was talkin 3rd person ha

Wide receiver Chad Ochocinco (OGOchoCinco, allowable only for this special edition) has a suggestion for the Heat:

• #perfect world Shaq comes back to the Heat also and Pat Riley signs me to come off the bench when football season ends, i'd average 15 pts

Former linebacker David Pollack (davidpollack47) lends me a sobering conclusion:

• What does LeBron owe Cleveland, I'm confused? He just gave Clev the best seven years of their franchise
• The Cleveland franchise is currently worth 100 million more than it was when LeBron got there.
  

Will "The Ringleader" Follow Wade And Bosh To Miami? (UPDATE)

Finally, I can go to sleep at night knowing that I won't be stuck in NBA purgatory for the next several years as a Miami Heat fan. Chris Bosh has officially announced that he will be joining Dwyane Wade in South Beach as a member of the Miami Heat.

Now, the big question remains: Where will LeBron James wind up?

LeBron claimed in his Larry King interview that he was "The Ringleader" of the 2010 free agent class, but during the past week it has seemed that Bosh is more deserving of that title. Both Wade and LeBron have made no secret that they would like to play alongside Bosh, which has made Bosh's decision the primary domino in deciding where the other pieces would fall. Now that Bosh is indeed joining the Heat, LeBron appears to be torn between his loyalty towards Cleveland and the opportunity to form a three-headed monster in Miami. The Heat is capable of making this fantasy team a reality if they can trade away Michael Beasley's contract for cap space or if Bosh and Wade agree to take less money to accommodate LeBron.

Tomorrow night at 9 pm Eastern time, LeBron will announce his decision on ESPN in an unprecedented one-hour television special. Apparently the proceeds from the telecast will go to the Boys and Girls Club of America, which in my mind is a way to divert attention from the ludicrous ego trip this telecast truly is. As you can probably deduce from my tone, I'd rather LeBron stay in Cleveland and have Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh be the foundation of the Miami Heat going forward. My guess is that's exactly what will happen. I find it difficult to see LeBron participating in a one-hour special that would conclude by breaking the collective heart of his hometown.

If LeBron does decide to leave, what would this moment become known as in Cleveland's infamously long list of disappointing moments in sports? "The Telecast" or "The Departure" perhaps?

UPDATE: Multiple sources have reported that LeBron will leaved Cleveland to join Wade and Bosh in Miami. His television special tonight has been dubbed "The Decision" so I have to assume this will be the name given to LeBron's departure in Cleveland.

Let The Madness Begin

On Thursday, the four players pictured on the left won't be able to put down their phones for a second without a phone call or text coming through. LeBron's phone will probably explode at 12:01 am on the dot, followed by Bosh's phone, then Wade's, then Stoudemire's, and then maybe Joe Johnson's. Actually, Joe Johnson will probably be sitting by his phone like an 8th grader waiting for his big crush to call him back. That big crush will probably end up being the Knicks who are only calling him because James, Bosh, Wade, and Stoudemire wouldn't sign on to play with Danilo Gallinari and scrubs.

This free agency period has the potential to alter the NBA's landscape more than any other in the league's history. The last time such a huge shift occurred in free agency was when Shaq left Orlando for the Lakers in 1996, and that signing took until 2000 for a championship to be delivered. If the three biggest names of this year's star-studded class–LeBron, Wade, and Bosh–decide to join forces to form the NBA's new big three, there's a good chance they could immediately win a championship together.

So what are the chances of those three teaming up?

Who the fuck knows. Reports are coming out from all over the place about supposed "done deals" already in place. LeBron and Bosh to Chicago, LeBron and Bosh to New York, and the latest rumor of LeBron and Bosh joining Wade in Miami are just a few of the scenarios that have been tossed around. Anyone who acts like they know for sure what's going to go down is probably full of shit. Stephen A. Smith can yell at the top of his lungs that the big three free agents are joining forces in Miami, but I won't believe it until it actually happens. Regardless, it's going to be fun to watch the pieces fall in place.

Feelin' Pretty Good About Miami's Draft

The NBA Draft happened last night and due to my extreme ignorance of college basketball, I'm not about to act like I know a damn thing about any of these players. If you're interested in reading about the overall outcome of the draft, I suggest you take a look at nbadraft.net's Instant Analysis and/or Tom Ziller's Draft Grades on NBA Fanhouse. I will instead focus my attention on my beloved Miami Heat's seemingly decent showing in the second round. I expect Teenage Trashstache will deliver his insight and analysis on the Thunder's draft night very soon. It will probably be something like twelve paragraphs of him raving about Cole Aldrich and how much heart he has. He'll also probably talk about Daequan "The Dayton Kid" Cook some more.

Now, onto the Heat's draft.

With the #32 pick Miami selected Dexter Pittman, a 6'11" 300 pound center from Texas, who apparently weighed almost 400 pounds in high school. He managed to drop 100 pounds, which supposedly earned him the admiration of none other than Sir Charles Barkley. At first, I was like, "why did Miami just pick some fat guy?" I was hoping they would pick up one of two 7-footers in Hassan Whiteside or Solomon Alabi, but after reading a bit and watching some video of Pittman, he seems to be a pretty athletic and skilled guy with a monstrous 7'6" wingspan. I know, I know. Watching youtube clips never tells the whole story, but I'm still excited to have a big body to man the paint. I'm hoping he'll be something like a hybrid of Big Baby and Kendrick Perkins, with Baby's motor and Perkin's D. Probably wishful thinking, but a Heat homer can hope, can't he? It's also worth noting that Pittman was a senior, so hopefully that experience at the college level will translate to the NBA. Also, this is a total buzzkill, but his fifteen year old brother was shot and killed just over a month ago, causing him to leave the NBA Draft combine.

With the #41 pick Miami selected another senior with freakish wingspan (7'4" and he's only 6'9" tall!) out of Mississippi State named Jarvis Varnado. Somehow the Heat managed to use their second pick on a player with an even sweeter name than their first draft pick, Dexter Pittman. I'm sure I'll eventually come up with a nickname for Varnado... like maybe something to do with tornados? In addition to having a totally sweet name, Varnado is the ALL-TIME LEADER FOR BLOCKS IN NCAA HISTORY!!! Yeah, sorry for writing that in all caps, but that kinda blew my mind upon reading it. He also is the only college player in history to record 1,000 points, 1,000 rebounds, and 500 blocks. I've been trying to keep from getting overly excited about this guy, but to get him in the second round seems like a pretty good pickup. Apparently his offensive game is very limited, but at the very least he provides an insurance policy should shot blocking specialist Joel Anthony leave Miami in free agency.

Somebody Up There Really Wants Me to Love the Thunder

Holy shit! Suddenly it makes sense for someone from Dayton, Ohio to root for the OKC Thunder.

Just when I was really starting to like the Thunder instead of just rooting for them on a whim, they go and do something to endure themselves to me forever. They call up SlimMcFettuccine's Miami Heat and say "Hey, can we have Daequan "The Dayton Kid" Cook, plus a better draft pick?" So Miami gave up an extremely valuable (read: marginal) player plus the 18th pick in the draft for the 32 overall pick.

I'm not even going to pretend that it makes sense to give up a player and a draft pick for a lower draft pick, but such is the way of the salary cap in the NBA. This guy from Bleacher Report says that he thinks the Heat want out of the first round so they don't have to guarantee any salaries for draft picks next year. What I want to know (hint, Slim) is who they do plan on paying to play in 2010-11?

Anyway, the Thunder now hold the 18th, 21st, 26th and 51st overall picks. So they'll pretty much be kicking everyone's ass (Miami's included) for the next decade. The best thing about it though is that I get to steal Slim's nickname!

*******

As an unrelated sidenote, I recently watched the classic musical Oklahoma. It was pretty gay but kind of cool in parts. Not so much the ones where they're singing though.

It Was a Great Ride While It Lasted

All's quiet on the Dank Game front.  I assume everyone is simply bummed out about the Cavs burning out.  I had a weird feeling before the game last night that it would be LeBron James' last game in a Cavaliers uniform.  Obviously it's too early to make any strong predictions on impending free agency, but the feeling lingers.

Dwyane Wade might leave Miami.  James might leave Cleveland.  But Kevin Durant will not be leaving the Thunder.  Nor will Russell Westbrook or even Serge "The Congolese Squeeze" Ibaka.  The Thunder are the only Dank Game approved team on the way up.

So now is the time Dank Game.  Get on board the Thunder train.  The Flaming Lips are from Oklahoma City - it can't be that bad.

And in the meantime you might as well root for the Suns or even the Magic.  I will not tolerate another Lakers-Celtics Finals.

Farewell 2009-10 Miami Heat

First off, I just wanna say you guys look real tough in your little suits. Real classy, but like I said, tough too. It's been quite a ride this season. There's been times when I thought you guys were on the verge of a real break-thru (Coach Spoelstra buzz word) and times when I thought you guys might wind up under .500 and out of the playoffs. Turns out you were somewhere between the two. I guess you just weren't quite fluid (another Coach Spoelstra buzz word) enough. Now, I'd like to have some parting words with each one of you guys.

Dwyane Wade: Simply put, you are phenomenal at playing basketball. Sure, your fashion sense is iffy at best, but so is Jordan's. Although you didn't have a season that was as transcendent as last year's, the Heat finished with a better record, so who cares. It seems like you'd like to stick around in Miami, but I know that you have to see the front office make some big moves before you sign on the dotted line. I just hope Pat Riley knows what he's doing this summer, because it'd be a damn shame if you left.

Michael Beasley: I just can't figure you out, bro. I know you're young and have room to grow, but I'm just not convinced you're the guy everyone was gushing about before the Heat drafted you. You've got all the talent in the world, but you just can't seem to get your head in the game. I'd love to see you turn into a 20-10 guy and win multiple championships with D-Wade in Miami, but it's starting to seem less and less likely.

NBA suspends Garnett for "acting like a little bitch"

Kevin Garnett has been suspended one game by the NBA for what the league has described as "punk ass behavior." Towards the end of the Celtics victory over the Heat in game one, Paul Pierce was on the ground nursing a presumably fake injury and Garnett came over to check on him. Miami's Quentin Richardson started talking trash because he believed Pierce was dramatizing his injury (he would later call both Pierce and Garnett "actresses") and wanted to get on with the game. Garnett turned on his trademark intensity and shoved Richardson aside with his elbow. Some jawing ensued and before long an altercation broke out with Udonis Haslem, Big Baby, and others getting involved. In the midst of this skirmish, Garnett threw an elbow which caught Richardson in the face. Garnett immediately ran away after he threw the elbow.

Here's video of the altercation:



The NBA has released the following statement about the incident:

"The league has reviewed the incident that occurred during the Miami Heat and Boston Celtics game on Saturday, and has decided to suspend Kevin Garnett for acting like a little bitch. Although his elbow that connected with Quentin Richardson was enough to warrant a suspension, the NBA would like to stress that Garnett's punk ass behavior is equally punishable. The league empathizes with Quentin Richardson for reacting to Pierce's lame attempt to fake another injury, but as a matter of policy, the NBA is obligated to fine him $25,000 for playing a role in inciting the altercation."

In an unprecedented move by the NBA, the league has cited the following fan-made YouTube video to emphasize similarly punishable "bitch moves" made by Garnett in the past.

Can The Heat Light Up The Green?

The time has arrived, Dank Gamers. Playoff time. Kicking off tomorrow.

While the majority of the matchups in the East will probably be over before they start, the Heat look to be the only team capable of pulling off an upset.

Boston has lost seven of their last ten and have been playing .500 ball since Christmas. The Heat, on the other hand, have been playing their best basketball since March, with the best defense in the league since the All-Star break. They've had an incredibly easy schedule to close out the season, but hopefully they can carry their momentum into the playoffs and capitalize on the rudderless Celtics.

I can't stress enough how thrilled I would be if the Heat manage to bounce Boston. First off, it would likely increase the chances of Wade staying in Miami and it could help convince another top tier free agent to join him in South Beach. Secondly, the Heat advancing past Boston would likely be the end of an era for this Celtics team. I've been eagerly anticipating the demise of this Celtics squad since they won the championship, and how sweet it would be if the Heat turned this short-lived Celtics era to ash.

Dank Game Announcement: You've probably noticed there hasn't been much NBA Playoff talk here on Dank Game prior to this post. But don't worry, I'm not giving up right as things are just starting to get interesting. Keep your heads up for something to drop tomorrow that will break new ground for Dank Game... unless something goes horribly wrong, which is entirely likely.

Unsung Player Day: Jamaal "The Big Cat" Magloire

April 14th has become known as Unsung Player Day in the NBA blogosphere, thanks to the Lakers blog With Malice. The goal is to come up with a player who averages under 10 minutes a game, but makes the most of his time when the coach calls him up. Naturally, I immediately looked at the Miami Heat's roster to come up with my own unsung player. My initial reaction was to go with "The Dayton Kid" Daequan Cook, but to my surprise, he averages over 15 minutes a game. Also, he really hasn't contributed much this season, so I went with Canadian center Jamaal "The Big Cat" Magloire instead.

Magloire has been the epitome of a journeyman throughout his career, spending time with the Hornets, Bucks, Blazers, Nets and Mavericks before signing with the Heat. His time in Miami has seen him mostly on the bench, but when he's been called upon he's provided toughness and great effort in the middle.

Averaging just 9.7 minutes a game, he's managed to put up 2.1 points and 3.3 rebounds while shooting 50% from the floor. Obviously not overwhelming numbers, but certainly not bad for the limited minutes. He isn't shy to dish out a hard foul when players try to take it to him, so his presence alone will make the opposition think twice about driving into the lane.

One thing about Magloire that stands out to me is that Dwyane Wade seems to trust him on the pick and roll more than any other center on the Heat. Jermaine O'Neal does his best offensive work in isolation plays while fellow Canadian Joel Anthony can't catch a pass half the time.

It's hard to say whether or not Magloire will be back in a Heat uniform next season, as the Heat have most of their money tied up in trying to resign Dwyane Wade and another marquee free agent. With that said, his current salary is just $825,497 so there's definitely a chance that he'll be back as a reserve center. At 31-years old, Jamaal has hinted that he might retire sometime soon to be with his family, but he also admits that it's hard to turn down the money.

Oh, It's On

That's right Dank Game, the moment has arrived. With the NBA playoffs only a few days away, the first official match-up is our beloved Oklahoma City Thunder vs. the hated Los Angeles Lakers.

Now I don't want to hear any guff about how the Lakers are defending champions, number one in the West, or a certain number 24. Because none of that is going to matter. The Thunder are too hungry.

Durant is the reigning scoring king of the NBA. Kobe Bryant is a pathetic fourth in the league. Russell Westbrook has 645 assists on the year. The closer Laker is this Kobe Bryant fellow again, with 365.

These stats tell me that the Lakers have only one legitimate offensive threat. Tell me how the Lakers are going to keep up with the Thunder air show with Serge "the Congolese Squeeze" Ibaka blocking half of everything Kobe tosses up with? (Ibaka has 91 blocks on the season as a rookie - he's also from the Democratic Republic of Congo - I'm trying to invent a nickname for him)

So that should settle it. Thunder over the Lakers. In six.

The only remaining question is whether it will be the Dank Game approved Miami Heat or Cleveland Cavaliers taking on the Thunder in the finals.

Stats provided by NBA.com