Farewell 2009-10 Miami Heat

First off, I just wanna say you guys look real tough in your little suits. Real classy, but like I said, tough too. It's been quite a ride this season. There's been times when I thought you guys were on the verge of a real break-thru (Coach Spoelstra buzz word) and times when I thought you guys might wind up under .500 and out of the playoffs. Turns out you were somewhere between the two. I guess you just weren't quite fluid (another Coach Spoelstra buzz word) enough. Now, I'd like to have some parting words with each one of you guys.

Dwyane Wade: Simply put, you are phenomenal at playing basketball. Sure, your fashion sense is iffy at best, but so is Jordan's. Although you didn't have a season that was as transcendent as last year's, the Heat finished with a better record, so who cares. It seems like you'd like to stick around in Miami, but I know that you have to see the front office make some big moves before you sign on the dotted line. I just hope Pat Riley knows what he's doing this summer, because it'd be a damn shame if you left.

Michael Beasley: I just can't figure you out, bro. I know you're young and have room to grow, but I'm just not convinced you're the guy everyone was gushing about before the Heat drafted you. You've got all the talent in the world, but you just can't seem to get your head in the game. I'd love to see you turn into a 20-10 guy and win multiple championships with D-Wade in Miami, but it's starting to seem less and less likely.

Udonis Haslem: Because you're a Miami native and the last remaining member of the 2006 championship team besides Wade (sorry Dorell, you don't count) I'd hate to see you leave the Heat. You remain an overlooked player who's defense and ability to knock down 15-foot jumpers would be valued on any NBA team. If you decide to go elsewhere for more money, I'd totally understand. If you do leave, Miami Heat fans will always remember you for your gritty effort.

Jermaine O'Neal: Prior to your absolute meltdown in the post-season, you had a solid season. You shot the ball at an extraordinary percentage of 52.9%, but come the playoffs you shot an abysmal 20.5%. If you had been able to avoid that post-season slump, you might have been getting real paid next season. Not quite $23 million paid, but you could have gotten decent loot. But enough about money. I appreciate the effort this year, but I think your time in Miami has come to an end. Later, dude.

Mario Chalmers: If there's one thing I learned about you this season, it's that you aren't a point guard. It's too bad, because the Heat could really use one of those guys. Keep working on your three-point shot and dribble penetration, because there is some promise there. Also, work on staying in front of your man on defense. I just hope you can hit some more big shots like you did for Kansas, because that "Mr. Clutch" tattoo might look pretty silly in a few years.

Quentin Richardson: After you were traded about 9 times in the offseason, I was glad you wound up on the Heat. You clearly put in work in the off-season, and it paid off. Sure, it would've been nice to have seen if Daequan Cook had anything to offer, but you were clearly a more reliable option. I wouldn't mind having you back if you and the Heat can come to terms on a contract. Probably won't happen, though.

Dorell Wright: It was nice to finally see what you could do on the court after spending virtually your entire first five years in the NBA on the bench. When your shot's falling and you're making plays in transition, you're arguably the most exciting player to watch on the Heat outside of Dwyane Wade. I'm hoping to see you back in a Heat uniform.

Carlos Arroyo: You filled in nicely as the starting point guard in this transitional year for the Miami Heat, but you aren't the long term solution. Sorry to break it to you. It'd be nice to have you as a backup next year, as you proved to be capable of running the offense and hitting open shots.

Joel Anthony: Way to man the paint this year. You managed to actually catch some passes and even showed some touch around the basket too. By the way, I'm just as sick as you are of other teams' announcers mispronouncing your name. It's pronounced Jo-el not Joel, chumps.

Rafer Alston: I don't know what happened with you, Skip to My Lou, but it was fun while it lasted.

Daequan Cook: The Dayton Kid... my man. What happened this year? I don't know what you did to piss off Coach Spoelstra, but I suggest you avoid doing it again when you're inevitably traded.

Jamaal Magloire: Good job throwing your weight around and just generally being an obnoxious dick on the court. Every team needs a guy like that.

James Jones: Things just haven't seemed to work out here in your hometown. It's too bad, because you seem like a totally chill dude.

Yakhouba Diawara: The Heat might still be in the playoffs if you hadn't banked that three-pointer in the final game of the regular season against the Nets. That's all I'ma say.