Funny Bengals Tweets - Vol. IV

You know the drill by now right?

Defensive tackle Tank Johnson (TankJohnson99) has strong opinions about infant wear and speed limits, then gives an intriguing incentive for following him:

• Has anyone seen those new Denim diapers??? I will slap the shit outta a lil kid if he got some Levi pampers! #Iswaretagawd
• Why is the speed limit in college school zones so slow? I mean by 18 u should be able to dodge a car with ease! #cmonASU #tightenup
• I'm tryin soo hard to get to 8 k followers! 8,000th follower gets a bucket of chicken maad wet wipes and a plunger! #fuxwitme
  

Defensive end Antwan Odom (AntwanOdom98) might be giving in to marketing a bit too much:

• Will using @OldSpice help me break the NFL sack record this year?
• Will @OldSpice keep the haters away?
• My manager said that was enough free promo for @OldSpice
  

Wide receiver/punt returner Quan Cosby (Cosby12) isn't sure if he should trust whitey:

• Big Question? White lady just saw my little girls and said u have beautiful little critters...should I b offended?? NE1 use those terms b4?

I'm really not sure what linebacker Dhani Jones' (DhaniJones) angle is:

• Ahhhhh smells... Do tell... Tell me more... Your thoughts of the best smells

Wide receiver Andre Caldwell (caldwell87) learned an important lesson:

• I learned this weekend to NEVER go shopping with 4 women it get real expensive and they take ALL DAMN DAY they never know what they want..
  

Tight end Reggie Kelly (ReggieKelly82) shared a moment that isn't so much funny as adorable:

• Ok 1 thing off my checklist finally, daughter now can ride bike by herself. Way to go baby girl!
  

Funny Bengals Tweets - Lebron James Edition

Given the circumstances in Ohio and the chatter on Twitter I've decided to bring you a LeBron James/Cavaliers/Heat version of Funny Bengals Tweets.

Former offensive lineman Willie Anderson (WillAnderson79) joked:

• He's gon stay in Cleveland tomorrow night[.] I mean so he can Pack!
  
• My Bday is Sun. I was gon hold a hour long special to let everyone know of my decision of where I'm going.
• So Does Dwade have to watch Lebron throw powder in the air every game?
  

Former defensive tackle Shaun Smith (sjs91) chimed in:

• Everyone get over it[.] the state [o]f Ohio will never win the big games so good luck.

Defensive tackle Tank Jonson (TankJohnson99) is crazy:

• Does anyone know where Lebron went? I been on jupiter ice fishin 4 star fish! Just landed from jupiter international! #GreetinEarthlingz

Wide receiver and punt returner Quan Cosby had a good point:

• Not gonna get into this too much but LB just nailed that live interview! Answered every ? Perfect, only thing wrong was talkin 3rd person ha

Wide receiver Chad Ochocinco (OGOchoCinco, allowable only for this special edition) has a suggestion for the Heat:

• #perfect world Shaq comes back to the Heat also and Pat Riley signs me to come off the bench when football season ends, i'd average 15 pts

Former linebacker David Pollack (davidpollack47) lends me a sobering conclusion:

• What does LeBron owe Cleveland, I'm confused? He just gave Clev the best seven years of their franchise
• The Cleveland franchise is currently worth 100 million more than it was when LeBron got there.