Do you trust this man?

If you're not following Chad Ochocinco's Twitter account by now, you're missing out.

The most ridiculous thing about him this season is that for every joke, touchdown celebration, or challenge that comes out of his head - more or less unfiltered - into Twitterdom, he actually follows through on half of them. The most ridiculous example is up first.

A few weeks back, Ochocinco started talking about starting a day care called Child Please Daycare Center. The punchline of this joke: Hours from 7am to kiss the baby. Haha Chad, you were able to work both your 2009 catchphrases into the same joke. The rest of us moved on. Chad upped the ante:

He actually had graphics printed and hung out with some kids. I'm not sure that he actually opened a daycare center, and I hope to God he didn't. Honestly, what parent would send their kid to a caretaker who eats McDonalds for every meal and spends most of his waking hours playing Xbox?

Oy, what's next? Oh yeah, Ochocinco condoms. "They'll catch everything your Johnson shoots," according to Chad. Another good joke, this time working his former name in. When I heard it a month or so ago, I thought I'd heard the last of it. I was wrong:

No word on whether tiger skin condoms are as effective as lambskin, but it would be kind of cool to have a striped penis, right? What's next?

When a Japanese broadcaster that covers the NFL in the far East suggested that Chad change his last name again, this time to the Japanese eight-five translation Haichi Go, I was sure it was just a goof. Chad laughed at the suggestion, and had a uniform made up. But now he posts a picture of it under the banner "coming soon." Can he be the Black Mexican and eat sushi? It'll be hard since they don't have any at McDonalds.

Chad also promised to deliver an all Spanish interview on ESPN. I don't know if he delivered, but he claims his "espanol is on point." No word on whether he'll learn Japanese if he changes his name again.

So what's next for Chad? He says he's going to steal the bugle horn of the Vikings mascot and use it as a prop after he scores a touchdown in Minnesota. Will he do it? I figure there's about a 50% chance.