arsenal vs portsmouth

despite missing el capitan cesc fabregas, the gooners shit all over portsmouth in their own stadium today. the boy rambo (is he 19 yet?) has been making a convincing case as a midfield general, showcasing ridiculous passing ability, positional sense, and most importantly the ability to score. he cleverly set up samir nasri's strike to make it 2-0, and bagged a solo goal that made me wet my pants. in addition, alex song capped off an excellent defensive performance with a beautiful header to cap off a 4-1 win.

all in all, it was an excellent evening that made me momentarily forget that my old lady is out of town and i haven't gotten any in over a week.

the goals:

the genius of jens lehmann, and sweet victory over liverpool

ex-arsenal keeper jens lehmann has always been a complete lunatic, but he has been outdoing himself lately. here, he abandons the goal to piss in a trashcan by the sidelines during a recent match for stuttgart. jens is smart enough to know that you can't effectively tend goal with a full bladder.


lehmann will always be remembered for getting himself sent off in the fucking champions league final (first player ever to do so) for arsenal several years back, and he works his magic in the CL here for stuttgart:


today, jens' successor did what he could to try and throw the game away for us with his complete inability to deal with crosses, but was rescued by liverpool defender glen johnson's hilarious own-goal and andrey arshavin's brilliant strike in the second half:

love his celebration, and the fact that he runs over to wenger for a pat on the head after the goal. relieves me of some of my anxieties that he has completely given up on his career with arsenal. while i would still be surprised if he didn't end up at barcelona after this season, i am glad that he is relishing in his current role as main striker. hopefully he can get us through our van persie-less spell, which looks as though it will be pretty long.

rambo rapes scotland

18-year old aaron ramsey, after creating the first two goals, scores a third for wales in a friendly against scotland. watch him break mcmanus' ankles with an artful move, before man united's douchebag enforcer darren fletcher unsuccessfully tries his hand, giving what could have been a penalty in the process. love this shit.



shit like this keeps my mind off the senseless injury to robin van persie, and the official waving of the white flag by the new orleans hornets franchise. fuck...

my life like a movie: the arsenal soap opera

arsenal came back from the dead yesterday to beat the significantly less talented belgian league champions standard liege after conceding two goals in the first 5 minutes of the match. the first was the result of some retarded flashy backheel shit by eduardo, who later redeemed himself by scoring the winner with his kneecap (which he kissed in celebration). the second was a bullshit penalty, which the referee later made up for by awarding belgian native thomas vermaelen an equaliser despite an obvious handball by alex song. the real gem in the match was bendtner's hope-restoring goal that came right before halftime:



the angle is insane (as is diaby's assist), and the luck of the ball making it though the keepers legs makes it that much sweeter.



i know i said i would avoid posting a whole lot of news, but this past week has been too wild to keep quiet about. dickhead ex-arsenal striker emmanuel adebayor has been handed a three-match ban for stamping on robin van persie's face (see the above photo) in his ridiculous display of hatred for his old club and their fans during the 4-2 defeat at manchester city last weekend. this suspension is independent of the one he might receive for running the length of the pitch (as ben said, more than he ever ran for arsenal) to celebrate in front of our supporters section, sending the fans into a brief fit of chaos that saw a match steward hit and injured by a thrown object. aside from the two aforementioned incidents, adebayor also made a red card worthy challenge on arsenal captain cesc fabregas early in the match that could have easily broken the skipper's ankle and apparently slapped alex song in the face to top it all off. the suspension is nice, and will hopefully cost man city as many or more points than we lost in that aburd match, but i can't help but wonder whether we would have seen a different result had he been rightly sent off for one of those incidents.

anyhow, we face wigan at the weekend, and i expect a rout!

nicklas bendtner scores for denmark

he pissed me off a lot last season, but he seems to be getting his head in the right place. naaaasty goal here for denmark:

asleep at the wheel

been a minute since my first post, but i seriously doubt my fellow dank gamers were losing any sleep over the lack of arsenal coverage. i am gonna try to not write too much about the day to day politics of the team, cuz there's a lot of people who do that shit way better than me, but i am gonna talk some shit occasionally and post nasty goals.

speaking of nasty goals, which i was, peep this one from the boy boy aaron ramsey for the welsh under-21 team against italy today (check the backheel flick he takes to set it up):



our midfield is so deep this year! even with nasri, rosicky and wolcott injured, we still have so many options. song, cesc and denilson (first goal of the season!) as a starting midfield trio is a great combination of creativity and defensive ability, and behind them we have the likes of ramsey, wilshere, and merida to come in and attack off the bench. i am very encouraged by the pairing of gallas and vermaelen at centerback... let's pray the boy stays fit.

man city is next weekend, and i will be shocked if we don't beat the shit out of them. it will be toure and adebayor's first visit to emirates since their departure, and the crowd will be hostile. ade might score, but i really doubt they'll beat us.

guess that's it... i might post this arshavin goals compilation in a second. shit is outrageous.

basketball doesn't start until october: booooooooring!

while my boy slim here waxes nostalgic about the 08-09 NBA season, i am busy preparing for a far more stressful and important endeavor that is about to get really real in like 8 or 9 days: arsenal's coming premier league, champion's league, carling cup, and FA cup campaigns. i've only been following the team for one season, but the i'm already feeling the nausea and anxiety that comes with supporting a football[1] club. in the offseason, we have replaced kolo toure at centerback with thomas vermaelen, and sold striker emmanual adebayor. there is a possibility that we'll bring in this moroccan dude who looks like a brown cristiano ronaldo as a replacement for adebayor, which i am pretty much ambivalent about, especially given dude's appearance. while i would welcome any player that could help us win games, i'd rather see our current talent show than import somebody who whines to the media and bears a resemblance to my least favorite footballer in the world. besides our more proven strikers: van persie and eduardo (please stay fit!), we have three other forwards in vela, walcott and, yes, bendtner who i believe are capable of winning a trophy in at least one of the aforementioned competitions this season. in the midfield, i am real excited about seeing more from last year's midseason acquisition andrey arshavin, seen here scoring a physically impossible winning goal in the 90th minute last weekend at the emirates cup (a preseason competition):



and for posterity's sake, his four-goal appearance against liverpool:



our captain, cesc fabregas (no youtube testimonial necessary), could well have the best season of any footballer in the world. nasri, who scored on his debut against the third most hated club in the premiership: manchester united, is sure to continue producing and enforcing once he's back from injury. denilson will prove the haters wrong, and youngsters aaron ramsey and jack wilshere are ready for breakout seasons, especially in the FA and carling cups. wilshere's two-goal performance against rangers last weekend has him in the discussion for england's world cup side:



[1} i know it sounds pretentious, but it just sounds retarded to refer to the english game as soccer. whatevs...