Happy Halloween Dank Game!

Alternative title: Boo-dey! (except don't boo them, 'cause they're awesome this year!)

Ochocinco does Top Diez list

The black Mexican has been hitting the airwaves all week. He has both a new autobiography and a new sports network to pitch. Oh, and he's in the middle of a terrific football season, so the dude is pretty busy.

I've been planing to write an entire entry about OCNN (Ocho Cinco News Network), but have not had time in lieu of 3 straight mega-overtime work weeks. Believe it or not, I do not get paid to contribute to this site. At least not until Slim gets his McFinances together.

Chad claims that he'll use OCNN to break info about NFL players and whatever else straight to the public. I think he's pretty serious about it too. He has a logo, and he's given at least two interviews in front of a wall of them, and it's got a yellow to orange to blue gradient thing going on.

More recently, Chad tried his hand at comedy. In support of his new autobiography (pictured above), the Ocho appeared on Late Night with David Letterman to deliver the nightly top ten list.

I'm pretty sure Ron Artest has never given a top ten list. I'm not so sure that he's written a book (this is Chad's second)

I'm damn sure he's never started a news network.

Oh, stop weeping Slim.

'Melo's 41 topples Blazers, Bulls surprise Spurs

Nuggets 97, Blazers 94

After watching the Nuggets first two games against Western Conference threats the Jazz and Blazers, this team seems poised for a big season. The division rival Trail Blazers nearly closed the game out, but Carmelo Anthony's offensive attack proved to be too much as he scored 19 of his 41 points in the 4th quarter. 'Melo was excellent, consistently banging bodies in the paint for points. Chauncey Billups had another strong game with 22 points and 6 assists. I do have to question Chauncey's shot selection, who shot just 5-14 from the field. He has proven in the past to be one of the best pull-up jump shooters in transition, but he wasted several possessions on quick shots. Rookie point guard Ty Lawson saw less action tonight, as he struggled on defense against Rudy Fernandez, which landed him on the bench. No one else had big games for the Nuggets, but everyone showed up when needed, particularly Nenê who had a huge play in the closing moments. After getting an offensive board, he put up a miss, hustled after his own rebound, and made a nice hook shot over Greg Oden. But it was ultimately 'Melo, who got them the W on the road. One last thought before I move on to the Blazers. It will be big for Denver when J.R. Smith returns from his suspension, so that George Karl can stop playing two point guards at the same time. Plus, J.R. Smith = buckets… sometimes.

The Blazers struggled from the field, shooting just 34%. Spanish guard Rudy Fernandez was the only Blazer to have an all-around good game posting 22 points on 6-9 shooting. He was also perfect from the line on all 8 shots. Brandon Roy managed to score 30 points by getting to the line 18 times. Despite poor shooting, Roy did have some great plays including a buzzer beating three-point bank shot to close the 3rd quarter. Martel Webster started out strong with some big plays, but would finish with only 10 points. Portland's going to need their young big men Greg Oden and LaMarcus Aldridge to step up if they want to take that next step into the Western Conference elite. I still think they're a few years and possibly a few roster adjustments away from being true contenders.

Bulls 92, Spurs 85

I hardly watched any of this game, but this block on Richard Jefferson by Derrick Rose is worth a look. This kid has serious ups. Rose had a highlight worthy offensive play too, but it hasn't made it's way to youtube yet.

Sir Shaquille and Prince James start the season 0-2

I didn't manage to catch the Cavaliers 91-101 loss to the Raptors last night, but I'm relatively shocked. I've had my doubts about whether the Shaq trade would work out, but I figured it wouldn't catch up to them until the playoffs. You can't look too far into this 0-2 start, but losing to a Raptors team that most see as a fringe playoff team is a cause for concern. I actually have the Raptors as a 5-7 seed in the East, but I still expected the Cavs to come out and win this one. Toronto's Andrea Bargnani drove past Anderson Vaerjao for the first play, and it seems that would set the tone for the rest of the game, as the 7-foot Italian went off on the Cleveland frontline for 28 points on 11-15 shooting.

One thing that caught my eye in the boxscore was that Shaq's +/- rating was -25. I'm no stat whiz so I can't tell you exactly what this statistic entails, but it's not often you see it dipping into the negative mid-twenties.

I'm sure the Cavs will get it together soon and establish themselves as one of the top team's in the East. I mean, they do have LeBron James. But I can't stress enough that the Cleveland frontcourt combined with Mike Brown's lack of offensive know-how is going to catch up to them. The past two years, Brown had assistant coach John Kuester running the offense. Now that Kuester is the Pistons' head coach, it's widely speculated that the Cavs might revert to their offensive tendencies of seasons prior to Kuester's arrival when it was give the ball to LeBron and get out of the way. That is if they haven't already.

As I'm not a huge Cavs fan myself, I suggest you take a look at this article by Biff from Cleveland Frowns for some true Akron/Cleveland perspective. I have to point out that Cleveland Frowns is one of few blogs with a banner that makes me feel less self-consciously skeezy about the Dank Game banner.

'Melo Posterizes Paul Milsap

I didn't watch this game too closely, so I'll spare you the details. The Jazz were looking pretty good (mainly Deron Williams), but the Nuggets looked just that much better. This steal and huge dunk by Carmelo Anthony on Paul Milsap kept the momentum with the Nuggets for good. The main point I want to make is that rookie point guard Ty Lawson out of UNC looked like a natural pro in his first game. He's looking to be a steal as the 18th pick in the draft.

Heat abuse Knicks 115-93

Dwyane Wade has talked of having to do less this season after putting up otherworldly numbers last season to carry the Heat to 43-39. Tonight, Wade got what he asked for. The Heat shot an astonishing 56% from the floor and 7-15 from deep.

Wade had a relatively "off" game, going 10-22 for 26 points. Despite looking a bit tentative early, Michael Beasley had an inspired effort with 21 points. His offensive repertoire included his typical perimeter jumpers, but he also attacked the rim, still with more finesse than power, though. Jermaine O'Neal looked alive going 10-12 for 22 points and pulling in 12 rebounds. He and Wade played well off of one another, with both picking up assists and easy baskets. It should be noted that 6'9" David Lee was playing center, which makes J.O.'s numbers a bit less impressive. Lee also put up 22 points on several easy putbacks. Chalmers and Dayton's own Daequan Cook also played well with 11 and 15 points respectively. Haslem played his typical reliable game. It was a great shooting night for the Heat, but they'll have to come together more as a team when the shots stop falling and they start playing legit teams. With that said, it was good to see them come out and take New York out with ease.

The Knicks were pretty awful throughout most of the game. Mike D'Antoni looked ready to throw a tantrum, especially after Miami pulled out a big lead. David Lee came just short of a double-double and Danilo Gallinari was three-point happy, hitting 7-13 from deep on 14 shots, but not much else was going for them. Nate Robinson was especially terrible, going 0-8 from the floor, five of those misses from deep.

Here's one of the better plays from the game. After a nice move by Beasley, Wade turned around out of nowhere for the steal off the inbound pass and a crazy 360 layup. Unfortunately, the camera crew cut to Beasley as Wade took it to the hoop.

Just in case you missed it...

LeBron had two amazing blocks last night chasing down Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen on fastbreaks that would typically result in a foul or an uncontested dunk/layup. I think it's safe to say Rondo is getting sick of these blocks. LeBron's timing coming down the floor is simply astounding and the fact that he manages to avoid fouling on both of these plays is something to appreciate as well. The extra effort to get the posession back on both plays is incredible, too. This is most notable on the Rondo block, as LeBron hits the ball twice against the glass in mid-air in an attempt to knock the ball back to himself or a teammate. I can't remember if the Cavs actually did get it back, but the effort is clearly there. Players have to take notice of these blocks and use the rim to shield themselves with a reverse dunk or layup when they're playing the Cavs. Even if they don't feel him breathing down their neck on the fastbreak, it's probably still a good idea just to be safe.

Week 7 NFL observations

Hey dank-gamers.

The 'stache is back after an unintended and unwanted hiatus. I've worked almost 200 hours in the past 15 days, with only one day off. And since that wasn't a sunday, football has not been a part of my life the past two weeks. Pity.

Thanks to Slim for covering week 6. Moving forward:

Week 7 thrillers: The Cardinals are back! After starting the season terribly Kurt Warner and company are on a serious hot streak, which culminated Sunday night in the Meadowlands where they beat an excellent Giants team. The win, coupled with another 49ers loss, puts Arizona on top of their division for the first time this season.

The Bengals absolutely destroyed the Bears. Not much else needs to be said other than Who Dey! If the Bengals keep playing like this, they'll be a very dangerous team down the stretch and into the playoffs. Also, Carson Palmer was named AFC Offensive player of the week after throwing more TD passes than incompletions.

The Saints won decisively after coming back from a 21 point deficit against the Dolphins. The Colts and Broncos join the Saints as the other remaining undefeated teams, but I think the Saints are the cream of the crop. The Colts just keep beating the shit out of really bad teams in the their suddenly mediocre division, while the Saints have dismantled many impressive teams. I still don't know what to think about a Broncos team that I picked to be one of the worst in the NFL.

The Vikings would have remained undefeated were it not for a complete meltdown in the 4th quarter. The Steelers had no business winning this game, as Favre threw for a league high 334 yards. Minnesota will certainly get back on track, and as they head to Lambeau field, be prepared for a wild game in Green Bay this Sunday. The Bengals are on bye, so this game is an excellent consolation prize.

Some time later I'll post some amazing Ochocinco updates.

Slim's NBA Opening Night Observations

Celtics 95, Cavaliers 89

After seeing the newest versions of the Cavs and Celts, I can't envision Cleveland going all the way this year. I know it's only one game, but I just don't think they can win a seven game series against the Celtics or Magic. The Cavs frontcourt is just too unreliable. Shaq had his moments early tonight, but he just can't seem to produce over extended periods of time. Give credit to Boston's Kendrick Perkins for keeping Shaq out of the paint and forcing him into difficult shots. As for the rest of the Cavs' frontcourt, I think Zydrunas Ilgauskas is actually a dinosaur at this point and despite a few buckets early on tonight, Varejao is an offensive liability. Sure, Ilgauskus will knock down shots and Varejao will make hustle plays, but Big Z's due to retire which would leave them with nothing but Varejao, Leon Powe (who's productive but undersized), and JJ Hickson, assuming Shaq's a one-year rental. They're going to need something more in the frontcourt if they want LeBron to stick around, even though I'm sure he will.

Cleveland's bench is also a concern, which was downright outclassed by Boston's bench. Boobie Gibson has been a pretty big disappointment after seeming like a promising player during the Cavs' run to the Finals in '07. As a Heat fan, I was sad to see Jamario Moon leave for the Cavs this offseason, but he looked pretty bad tonight despite finishing a nice oop from LeBron at one point. Rasheed Wallace seems to be a great sixth man for Boston and Marquis Daniels fits in well as a versatile guard off the bench. Shelden Williams, on the other hand, looks like he'll struggle to escape being branded a draft bust. I don't expect to see much of him once Big Baby gets back from his thumb surgery, which is a pretty hilarious story, by the way. It involves Big Baby shirtless with a bloody nose. Need I say more?

Lakers 99, Clippers 92

My excitement for this game was deflated upon hearing Blake Griffin would be out for six weeks and rightly so. The Clippers looked pretty horrendous, putting up bad shots and turning the ball over 20 times. Despite dishing 8 assits, Baron Davis shot just 1-10 from the field. Second year guard Eric Gordon was impressive though, posting a team high 21 points.

As for the Lakers, Kobe was Kobe, Bynum was impressive, Odom showed up, and Artest seems like he's still feeling things out. I don't have much else to say about this game other than I want more Shannon Brown.

Trailblazers 96, Rockets 87

The Rockets struggled to produce on offense having to rely on 6' guard Aaron Brooks (19 points, 5 assists) to carry the scoring load. Travis Outlaw and Brandon Roy led the Blazers in scoring with 23 and 20 points respectively, while new addition Andre Miller dropped 7 dimes.

Wizards 102, Mavericks 91

The Wizards overcame a 34 point effort by Dirk Nowitzki as Gilbert Arenas seems to have finally returned from injury. Agent Zero scored 29 points and dished out 9 assists. The NBA needs this guy, even if he isn't talking or blogging anymore.

Ron Artest's hair is ready for the bright lights (UPDATE)

Apparently the characters say "champion" but I'm more preoccupied by the word on the other side of his head. It looks like it says "CHATTY" to me. I'm confused, but this is Artest were talking about, so I should expect to be confused.

UPDATE: According to my mans Craig Sager, the side of his head that says something "CHAT" is a tribute to his late friend Mike Chatfield, who Artest claims is the best basketball player he's ever seen.

Dank Game Alert?

According to Urban Dictionary, a dank game alert is "the time when a ballgame that you are watching becomes really exciting, usually in football or basketball as the clock begins to tick down during the fourth quarter; the climax of a sporting event."

It has 13 thumbs up and 0 down, so it's gotta be legit. From now on I'll be using this term when a game is going down to the wire.

Air Jordan 2 Retro White/Metallic Silver-Neutral Grey

Set to release in 2010, this white Jordan 2 with grey and metallic silver accents is the first pair of Jordan 2s to be released in some time. It seems that a lot of people don't have much love for the Jordan 2, but I've always thought it was a nice looking shoe. I really don't understand where the hate comes from. I've always been into grey shoes, and I'm especially feeling the white and grey look on these 2s. The reflective 3M material is also a nice touch. For more photos and info, check Nice Kicks' post.

Blake Griffin questionable for season opener against Lakers (UPDATE)

During Friday's preseason game against the Hornets, Blake Griffin tweaked his knee coming down from this viscious dunk shown in the video above. You can see that he lands awkwardly. Let's hope he's able to suit up, as I've been getting more and more pumped to see this kid play. He's gonna be a monster.

UPDATE: It has been reported that Griffin's left knee cap is broken and the #1 overall draft pick could be out for six weeks. Poor, poor Clippers.


While I'm at it, here's another play from the very same game that starts with a Blake Griffin block on one end, and ends with a Blake Griffin dunk on the other end.

NBA Preseason Top 10s

In anticipation of the NBA tipping off tomorrow (!!!!), I bring you the NBA's Top 10 dunks, blocks, assists, and steals of the preseason.

Top 10 Dunks

10. Sweet fast break dunk by Sonny Weems.
9. Kevin Durant looking like a viscious version of Clyde Drexler, "cockin' the hammer, and pullin' the trigger."
8. I haven't seen much of the Hawks' center Randolph Morris, but he got absolutely worked by Dwight Howard on that one.
7. You've seen this one on Dank Game before. What impresses me most is Gerald Wallace's crossover on who I believe is Julian Wright.
6. AK47 gets abused by the Bulls' rookie out of USC, Taj Gibson. The Bulls have some seemingly promising rookies in Gibson and Wake Forrest's James Johnson. I'm a little worried about them taking minutes from Tyrus Thomas, though.
5. A nice backdoor cut and dunk by Rondo, but it really doesn't deserve to be at number 5. It probably doesn't even deserve to be on this list.
4. Sick oop from Mike Bibby to Josh Smith, but that announcer yelling "JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ-SMOOOOOOOOOOTH!!!" is probably the most annoying thing I've ever heard.
3. Amazing dunk by Shannon Brown. This guy had better be in the Slam Dunk Contest this All-Star Break. I don't understand how this dunk by Shannon Brown isn't on this list.
2. Wait, who is Josh McRoberts?
1. Nenê just completely destroys this dude on the Serbian team Partizan Belgrade. Unless Greg Oden or Andrew Bynum have huge breakout seasons, Nenê had better be the West's starting center in the All-Star Game. Actually, Al Jefferson could get the nod as well.

Top 10 Blocks

10. LeBron swats shots with such anger.
9. Chris Douglas-Roberts seriously gets up on this block on Iguodala. I love me some two-handed blocks.
8. Sheed with some great transition defense. Not sure if this is top 10 worthy, though.
7. This Nicolas Batum dude seems to be pretty soild.
6. Mikki Moore is not good. Not to take any credit away from Sean May, who looks to be in good shape compared to his days in Charlotte.
5. Apparently the NBA forgot to include a block at #5.
4. Pops Mensah-Bonsu had his moments last season with the Raptors during their abysmal season. He got a little revenge on that block. BTW, his name means King (Nana) Father (Papa) Thursday Born (Yaw) Three (Mensah) Whale (Bonsu) in Ghanaian, apparently because one of his ancestors slayed a whale.
3. Great block by the other rookie on the Bulls I had mentioned, James Johnson.
2. This block by the Pistons' rookie Austin Daye is reminiscient of the greatest block in Pistons history.
1. You've seen this here before. Just too nasty for words to describe.

Top 10 Assists

10. Great look by Al Harrington.
9. Apparently White Chocolate's still got something left in the tank.
8. I'm loving this no-look transition pass by the Nets' rookie Terrence Williams to Courtney Lee.
7. Nice overhead pass by K-Mart to 'Melo.
6. After nearly throwing it away, D-Wade recovers for the no-look dish to J.O. for the dunk. As much as I want Beasley to start at power forward over Haslem, I've got to point out how Halsem makes one of those plays that doesn't show up in the box score, which he often does. Wade's deflected pass was intended for Haslem, who automatically sets a screen once he recognizes that Wade recovered the ball. It's situations like these where Beasley often lacks the awareness to make little, important plays.
5. Another great oop to Josh Smith, this time from Joe Johnson. And again, that announcer yelling J-Smooth is annoying as hell.
4. Good set-up by Jared Dudley, but I think he gets a little too excited after the dunk.
3. Andre Iguodala threads the needle nicely here.
2. We'll probably be seeing a lot of that this season.
1. Dank Game readers might recall this through-the-legs pass by Kobe.

Top 10 Steals

10. Nice steal and pass from the Warriors' rookie Stephen Curry.
9. LeBron doing what he does best, despite the lack of a dunk.
8. Little Nate Robinson taking it all the way after the steal.
7. Great steal and an even better pass by Mike Taylor. That whole sequence by Taylor seriously blows my mind.
6. Ray Allen straight took that shit.
5. LeBron again, this time with a dunk to finish.
4. More "J-Smooth"
3. Heat fans are hoping to see more of this from Mario Chalmers.
2. The oop from Matt Barnes to Vince Carter is clearly more impressive than the steal.
1. Coming from a Heat fan, I don't know why this is at #1. As far as I'm concerned, Mike Taylor's steal and pass at #7 should be #1.

Bengals dismantle Bears, Benson gets revenge

After missing my friend's call inviting me to go to last week's game against the Houston Texans, I luckily got his call this week to go to the Bears game. I'm pretty glad I missed the call for the Texans game, as it was the most depressing game of the season and the Bears game was far and away the most encouraging game of the year as well as the most fun Bengals game I've ever attended. Beer was flowing, fists were pumping, and high fives were never ending. I couldn't ask for much more. Because there were so many Bears fans in attendance, it felt amazing to walk through Paul Brown Stadium repping the black and orange with pride. Also, initiating "Who Dey!" chants in the bathroom was totally amusing.

The Bengals just couldn't seem to do wrong. Cedric Benson had the game of his career, running for a career high 189 yards against his former team. Carson Palmer also had one of the finest games of his career, completing 20 of 24 passes for 233 yards and five touchdowns. What really stood out to me was that the Bengals didn't have any huge plays throughout the game. They just moved the ball down the field with consistency and converted over and over again in the red zone. In fact, Jay Cutler had more yards than Palmer with 251, but he was forcing long throws that led to 3 interceptions.

Because Mustache was working in Columbus, I kept him up on the game via text messages. Just for the hell of it, here is our correspondance:

Slim (4:24): TD Bengals!
Mustache (4:37): Sweet. Keep the updates coming. Who dey
Slim (4:47): Another TD! 14-0!
Slim (5:01): Another TD! 21-0!
Mustache (5:16): Amazing. Who scored? What quarter?
Slim (5:23): I cant even keep up with who is scoring. 28 to 0 Bengals!
Slim (5:31): Where-da-party-at with a field goal. 31 to 0 Bengals!
Slim (6:08): U back home yet?
Mustache (6:10): Hell no. Still working
Slim (6:11): Weak. Bengals got dis shit.
Slim (6:29): Who dey!
Mustache (6:29): Hell yeah
Slim (6:39): 45 to 3 Bengals!

What a glorious game. If only my homeboy Brett Favre and the Vikings could've pulled it out against the Steelers, it would've been the best day of NFL football this season.

LeBron sends Rondo's signature move into the 18th row

Wow. Not much else I can say about this one.

LeBron wants to dunk on George W. Bush's ass

In an interview with Maxim.com, when LeBron James was asked if there was one guy on the planet he could dunk on, his reponse was this:

"If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on his ass, break the rim, and shatter the glass."

Unfortunately, Nike endorses our nation's former president and because of their no videotaping policy, video of the dunk has been confiscated and locked away in Nike's vaults. Luckily our dilligent Dank Game staff managed to narrowly escape with this photo of LBJ posterizing GW just before the backboard shattered.

"Prodigies" starring KG, Kobe, & LeBron

Known for their NBA youtube mixes, Hoops4Life has just released their magnum opus after a year in the making. "Prodigies" is a collaboration between mixmakers Domino, Renhigotrare, VenomIndustries, and Dinoman, following the careers of the three greatest high school to NBA phenoms. The video highlights Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James, from their high school days all the way to Kobe and the Lakers defeating the Orlando Magic for the NBA Championship this past season. It's definitely a little heavy-handed on the cheesiness, seeming like an extra long preview for a documentary, but I can't hate considering all of the footage and interviews they had to painstakingly collect and edit to tell the story. I'm guessing they were banking on the Cavs beating the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals, as it would've tied the whole thing together with the Kobe vs. LeBron showdown. They must've been too far into the editing process to include Dwight Howard in the mix, as he's the last great player to make the jump from high school to the pros.

Big up to Ball Don't Lie and SLAM.

Slim's Week 6 NFL Observations

Once again, I'm filling in for Teenage Mustache with NFL coverage while he's out havin' fun in the warm California sun.

First up, a bit of good news for us Cincinnatians. While Antwan Odom is out for the season and will udergo surgery for his ruptured Achille's tendon, Domata Peko's knee injury is not serious. His availability for next week's home game against the Bears (which I'll be attending BTW) will be assessed later this week. Also, rookie tackle Andre Smith will return to practice after being sidelined all season from a broken foot suffered in practice.

There were some brutal blowouts on Sunday, most notably the Patriots who destroyed the lowly Titans 59-0 in the midst of New England flurries. The Pats set franchise records for points and yards with 619. Tom Brady also had the most touchdown passes in a quarter by any player since 1950, with five in the second quarter. The Titans are the worst defensive team in the league, and obviously they lived up to their reputation.

The Saints continued to impress, remaining undefeated at 5-0 as they beat the Giants 48-27. It should be noted that the Giants came into the game with the #1 defense in the league. Not sure if they still do after this one, though. After having two straight weeks without a touchdown pass, Drew Brees got back on track with 4 touchdown passes and 369 yards. I have to assume at this point the MVP picture has been narrowed down between Brees and Peyton Manning.

Brett Favre and the Vikings also remain undefeated at 6-0, after narrowly escaping a loss to the Ravens after a last second field goal miss that would have given Baltimore a one point victory had it been good. This gives Minnesota a comfortable lead in the NFC North, with the Packers in second at 3-2.

The Broncos and Colts are the only other remaining undefeated teams, as those old school brown and yellow unis that everyone seems to hate continue to keep Denver going strong. The Broncos knocked off division rivals San Diego to maintain their surprising run. I watched most of the first half and what stood out most was Denver's Eddie Royal, who returned a kickoff for a 93-yard touchdown in the first quarter as well as a punt for a 71-yard touchdown. Phillip Rivers and the Chargers offense were looking good in the first half, but those missteps on special teams ended up costing them the game.

What do you gotta say about the Broncos now, 'stache? I thought they were going to be the worst team in the NFL. I'm sure you'll be able to call me out on my NBA season predictions, so I should probably keep quiet.

Preseason Posterization #3: Blake Griffin on D.J. Mbenga

If you haven't heard, word around the league is that #1 draft pick Blake Griffin is for real. While D.J. Mbenga is far from the most intimidating big man in the NBA, he's still a 7-footer. He also likes tacos, which has to count for something. Gotta give some credit to Kareem Rush for the pass that gave Griffin the open lane to throw it down.

Apparently Griffin's Clippers teammates (specifically point guard Sebastian Telflair and second year center DeAndre Jordan) have given him the nickname Amazin'. Pretty clever nickname, I guess. Coming up with a nickname for Griffin seems to be a hot topic, as he has also been branded Blake Superior by Clips Nation.

Ugly Sunday in Cincinnati

Because Teenage Mustache is on official Dank Game business in the City of Angels (make us proud, 'stache), I'll be incapably filling in with some NFL coverage.

It seemed like due time that the Bengals fucked up enough to keep the game out of reach in the final minutes. No Carson Palmer heroics could pull them out of this one. While the injuries to defensive tackle Domata Peko (awaiting MRI results on an injured knee) and defensive end Antwan Odom (out for the season with a ruptured Achille's tendon) hurt the Bengals chances of winning on Sunday, it certainly didn't boil down to just that.

The second quarter was the only moment the Bengals looked alive on offense, scoring on a run by Cedric Benson, a tippy toe catch in the back of the end zone by Laveranues Coles, and a field goal at the end of the half by Shane "where-da-party-at?" Graham. During the second half, the Bengals just couldn't get the ball down the field. The offense was simply horrendous. Something has to be done with tight end Daniel Coats, who can't catch a pass for his life. When he finally did manage to catch one, of course he fumbled it. Not only did Coats do his best to fuck shit up, but tight end J. P. Foschi did his part in fucking up as well. Just a few plays after the Bengals recovered a Texans' fumble in the final minutes, Foschi would fumble the ball after catching a pass, putting an end to any hope of a "Cardiac Cats" comeback. I thought the Bengals drafted some really great tight end named Chase Coffman. As far as I know, this guy hasn't even played. What's the deal?

The defense was looking decent prior to Pecko and Odom going down. I can't really comment on this much though, as I was chasing my dog outside for at least 5 minutes of the first quarter after she escaped through my friend's front door. Not that I would've had any insight if that didn't happen, though. I do know that Odom blocked a field goal before his injury though, and that was pretty sweet. From that point on, Houston had its way with the Cincinnati defense.

All I can say is this was a thoroughly disappointing game. Despite a decent effort from Ochocinco, he didn't score a touch down, which meant no Mexican Jumping Bengal celebration. It's my belief that had this celebration happened, it would have energized the Bengals and Paul Brown Stadium enough for them to fight through the injuries and pull this one off.

Ron Artest Auto-Tuned

Artest likes to pop bottles and he wants you for a girlfriend. Oh, and he's lovin' your thong.

Dank Game's got a mascot! And we want you to name it!

As you can see, us Dank Gamers have finally gotten our heads out of our asses and designed a proper mascot and banner. That one idiot Teen 'stache came up with the terrible/great idea that our mascot ought to be a basketball with a face smoking a football shaped joint. After weeks of apprehension, yours truly finally warmed to the idea and made it happen in convincing fashion.

Because the sheer brilliance of our mascot is lost at such a small size on the banner, we've given you the full size version in all its dank glory. At this size, the basketball's eyes are thoroughly bloodshot and the laces of the pigskin joint look so convincing that you'll request that it not be bogarted.

Now it's up to you, Dank Game faithful, to name this blazed roundball. Comment away and we'll eventually choose a winner when we get around to it. The winner gets a Dank Game T-shirt (if we ever make them) with our yet-to-be-named mascot. Because after all, who doesn't want to wear a T-shirt with a basketball smoking a football shaped joint? I know I do.

Big week for Ochocinco

And he hasn't even played yet. Let's hope for about 150 yards and 3 TDs against the Texans weak ass secondary.

First: somehow the 4-1 Bengals were having loads of trouble selling out against a Texans team they should beat tomorrow. So who comes up big and buys the remaining tickets? It should be pretty obvious that it was Chad Ochocinco. And he gave them away on a first come first serve basis at the Paul Brown Stadium

Perhaps he found out about our Dank Game Ron-vs-Chad zaniness competition, read the post about Artest taking fans bowling and thought, "Child please, I can do way more for my fans than that." Actually Motorolla was also involved, so realistically it was just a marketing ploy. But whatever.

Second: Chad has big plans for a touchdown celebration this week. Not excited yet? He's calling it the Mexican Jumping Bengal.

Basically, he plans to climb into the stands and then crowd surf. Good luck Ocho! He announced the plan on his USteam show. You can read more about it at PFT.

The ball is back in your court, SlimMcShavesHisPits.

Just to let you know...

The Lakers are gonna be good. Real good. Here's an example of why Kobe's one of the best in the game, if not the best. His awareness is at such a high level that he passes up on what seems like the obvious pass to Ron Artest, finding Lamar Odom for an even easier bucket... and why not go through the legs, just for the hell of it. Because, after all, doing stuff through the legs is what separates the good from the great. Just ask J.R. Rider.


And just for fun, an easy dunk for Kobe off a pass from Ron Ron.

Dank Game Showdown - Heat vs. Thunder

Yesterday, there was a Dank Game preseason showdown between my own Miami Heat and Mustache's beloved OKC Thunder (I'm anxiously awaiting your Thunder season preview, 'stache). This match up was also a showdown between young stars Michael Beasley and Kevin Durant, who were childhood friends having grown up in Washington D.C. together. The Thunder would pull this one out 96-91 after the Heat controlled the game through the first three quarters. Listen Mustache, before you get too excited, fantasizing about the Thunder bringing home the Larry O'Brien trophy, keep in mind that Dwyane Wade sat this one out due to a strained muscle in his left rib cage.

Michael Beasley (seen throwing down a fastbreak oop from Chalmers at the beginning of the video) had an excellent game, going 9-13 from the field and 6-6 from the line to finish with 24 points in 38 minutes. Despite those impressive numbers, Beasley only pulled in 4 rebounds, none of which were offensive, and he turned the ball over 7 times. The rebounding numbers could be worse, but the turnovers are a real concern. Beasley started at small forward but would see plenty of time at power forward when the Heat played small ball with Haslem at center.

Haslem was his reliable self, adding 9 points, 9 boards, and 2 blocks in 35 minutes. Unspectacular as usual, but mildly effective nonetheless. The Heat might continue to utilize Haslem at center (who's already somewhat undersized as a power forward) as Jermaine O'Neal continues to struggle with rebounding, pulling in just 3 in 23 minutes. Numbers like these are all too familiar after acquiring him last season. J.O. did go 4-7 from the field and 2-2 from the line for 10 points, though.

Two of the Heat's youngsters, Daequan Cook and Mario Chalmers, had some solid production with both playing about 30 minutes. Both of these guys have been having decent games with Wade out since they can look for their own offense without having to defer to Wade. Dayton native Daequan Cook would only shoot 5-15 from the field, but he did hit 4-7 three pointers, two of which can be seen in the highlights. He would finish with 14 points. Chalmers shot 4-7 from the field and 4-4 from the line for 13 points and added 4 assists. He also had 4 turnovers, though. Chalmers can be seen setting up J.O. for a dunk with a nice pass at the 1:16 mark on the video.

As for the rest of the Heat, James Jones shot well in limited minutes, Quentin Richardson struggled shooting going just 1-7 from deep, and newly acquired point guard Carlos Arroyo was quiet with a couple of dimes in 16 minutes.

Kevin Durant continues to look like a superstar in the making, going 10-16 from the field and 9-10 from the line for 30 points. His dunk on Joel Anthony at the 0:25 second mark on the video is reminiscent of Clyde Drexler and he can be seen dominating throughout the rest of the highlights, including the game clinching shot in the final minutes. I guess he had something to prove after firing back at Truehoop's Henry Abbot via Twitter after Abbot wrote a piece about Durant hurting his team when he's on the floor, despite being an obvious star.

The Thunder's Jeff Green also had an impressive game, going 9-16 from the field and 3-3 from deep for 25 points in 36 minutes. For as much hype as KD gets, I've always thought Green has shown a lot of promise. Second year point guard Russell Westbrook struggled from the field going 3-12 and 6-10 from the line for 12 points, but he did add 7 dimes.

We have yet another Dank Game showdown tonight in Kansas City between the Heat and HAM's New Orleans Hornets. I guess you would only know that from the Hornets logo on the side of the blog, though. Wade could play, so hopefully the Heat can pull it together as a team with only three more preseason games left and no wins.

Brad St Louis, we hardly knew ye

Actually, for a long snapper, we were getting to know him too well.

But now he's gone. It took 5 games, 6 bad snaps, and 11 points away from the Bengals, but they've replaced their long snapper Brad St. Louis.

Since any Bengals source has commented on this by now, I have nothing to add. So I made a funny picture. Well, it's not that funny. But it's better than anything else I've seen.

As a side note, isn't it great that the Bengals biggest problem this year has been something as small as snaps for place kicking?

Who dey!

2009-10 NBA Season Preview - Western Conference

Look no further, Dank Game is the place to prepare you for a season of losing money betting on the NBA.





You know the drill. Here are my thoughts and predictions on what will go down in the NBA's Western Conference. I'm feeling more confident with my predictions in the West than what I've got for the East. I was tempted to change my Eastern Conference playoff seeding after posting it, but what do I look like to you, a cheat?

Northwest

When looking back at last season's standings, I was somewhat surprised to see that Portland had the same record as Denver. Because the Blazers had a bigger off-season, I'm going to give them the number one spot. It's a tough call though, as I'm still pretty enamored with Denver's roster despite losing Dahntay Jones to Indiana and Linas Kleiza who left for Greece. With the addition of veteran point guard Andre Miller and the continued development of their young core, Portland seems poised for a big year. But then again, Andre Miller might sulk so much that he throws off the team's chemistry. He's like a contestant on one of those competition reality shows that keeps insisting they're just there to win, not to make friends.

It's hard to predict what will happen with the Jazz this season because of the situation with Carlos Boozer. Will Milsap get more minutes than Boozer after having capably filled in for him last season? Will Boozer even be with the team by season's end? Expect the Thunder to improve this season as their young talent grows. The Timberwolves will probably be lottery bound.

Pacific

Obviously no team in this division will even come close to hanging with the Lakers. With the addition of Ron Artest, they could be virtually unstoppable. Should Amare Stoudemire remain healthy and isn't traded, his presence alone should be enough to put the Suns above the rest of
the pack.

I expect the Clippers to improve with #1 pick Blake Griffin contributing immediately (why the hell are they talking about bringing him off the bench?). I also anticipate Baron Davis to bounce back and I think second year guard Eric Gordon could have a big year. Golden State is in an utter mess going into the season and the Kings are pretty much guaranteed to totally suck. Oh wait... that's right. I'm trying to bring the Kings back to Cincinnati as the Royals. Now that I think about it, they're going to be totally great this year. Come back to Cincy already! On the real though, I am excited to watch Tyreke Evans and Kevin Martin.

Southwest

The Southwest is by far the hardest division to predict who will come out on top, but I'm going with the well-oiled machine that is the San Antonio Spurs. The trade for Richard Jefferson and the free agency pick-up of Antonio McDyess will bolster both the their offense and defense, respectively, but the health of Duncan and Ginobili is most critical to their success. I hate myself for putting the Mavericks over the Hornets (sorry HAMS), but I just don't like New Orleans roster outside of Chris Paul, David West, and James Posey. I'm also not too sold on Emeka Okafor, who was traded from the Bobcats for Tyson Chandler.

I'm really not sure what to expect from Dallas this year. Shawn Marion could work well in their offense, but missing out on Marcin Gortat in free agency leaves them with Erick Dampier at the 5 for yet another season. I expect Houston to struggle after losing Yao Ming to injury and Artest in free agency. Memphis will be intriguing to watch, but an aged, stubborn Allen Iverson and the troublesome Zach Randolph can't be a good combo to have around their young talent.

Playoff Picture

Yeah, I know, Mustache. I don't have your Thunder in the playoffs. Give 'em a year or two of seasoning, and then we can start talking.

Week 5 NFL Observations

Starting with the last game first, here's Mustache's observations (stachvations? mustavations? I'll work on this) from week 5 in the NFL:

The Dolphins are back. Written off after a 3 game losing streak to start the season, it looked like Miami was in a division where the Jets and Patriots would distance themselves easily from the bottom of the pack. But after back-to-back Jets and Patriots losses and back-to-back division wins for the Fins, the pecking order has changed a little bit. But not for Buffalo. They lost to the Browns in a game where their quarterback only completed two passes.

I am probably most surprised by Jacksonville's blowout loss to the Seahawks. Seattle has been mediocre at best this season, and the Jaguars looked like a team that could turn it around after a poor start. If the Jaguars are going to be a contender this season they have to win games like this, not lose by 41 points. After a few seasons of being the best division in the AFC, the South looks terrible. After the undefeated Colts, the remaining three teams have a combined 4-11 record.

McNabb is back in Philadelphia, and I'll be damned if the Eagles don't look like a top 5 team again. The Eagle's young receivers look excellent, and McNabb threw two incredible touchdown passes. This is probably the best team to have lost a game (sorry Bengals).

Other notables:

Indianapolis, the New York Giants and Minnesota continue to look excellent, all winning in convincing fashion.

Pittsburgh had some trouble with Detroit and Dallas had a lot of trouble with Kansas City. Both did pull out wins, but these teams are not as good as many think, especially not the Cowboys.

2009-10 NBA Season Preview - Eastern Conference

Look no further, Dank Game is the place to prepare you for a season of losing money betting on the NBA.





Much like my colleague/arch rival, Teenage_Mustache, I shall begin this post by acknowledging that these predictions will either make me out to be a genius, or a complete moron. As of now, I'm banking on genius. The NBA season is fast approaching (thank Christ!), the NFL season is well underway, and I think baseball is probably almost over by now... but I really wouldn't know, because baseball is boring. Without any further introduction, here is my take on what will go down in the NBA's Eastern Conference.

Atlantic

As the old adage goes, if they can stay healthy, Boston is the obvious frontrunner in the Atlantic division. I expect the Raptors to bounce back this season with the acquisition of Hedo Turkoglu, while the Sixers may have taken a step back with the loss of Andre Miller to Portland. If Lou Williams proves to be capable of running Philly's offense and Elton Brand can come back strong and find chemistry with the team, they could easily finish ahead of the Raptors.

With promising second year forward Danillo Gallinari returning from an injury plagued rookie season, I expect the Knicks to finish ahead of New Jersey. The Nets seem bound to regress after trading Vince Carter to Orlando, although second year center Brook Lopez and point guard Devin Harris could have very big years.

Central

The Cavs are clearly ahead of the pack in the Central Division. They won 66 games last year and because they acquired Shaq for next to nothing, I don't see them going anywhere but up. That's not to say the Shaq experiment will necessarily work come playoff time, as I still have my doubts. I'm not sure if the Bulls will be much better than last year now that their leading scorer, Ben Gordon, has left for Detroit. Having John Salmons for a full season – barring a trade – and having a healthy Luol Deng might prove to make Gordon's departure a non-issue, though.

Putting the Pacers over the Pistons might be a bad move, but I have trouble picturing Detroit playing anything close to mediocre defense with the addition of Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. The loss of Sheed and McDyess won't help that cause either. I think Danny Granger could finally break into the crop of second-tier elite players this year, which is another reason I have Indiana over Detroit. Milwaukee seems lottery bound, especially if Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut can't remain healthy.

Southeast

The Magic dominated the Southeast last season and have only gotten better this off-season, while the rest of the division – besides the Wizards – hasn't made any significant strides. My team loyalty forces me to put Miami in second, although that will probably be a mistake. The Heat should be better this season if J.O. can return to form and their young talent shows improve. It's just really hard to predict how things will shake out amongst the Wizards, Hawks, and Heat.

The Wizards will obviously be better with Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood returning. Acquiring Mike Miller and Randy Foye from Minnesota for their first round draft pick should also bolster their roster. The Hawks addition of Jamal Crawford will give them more offensive fire power and Joe Smith will help their frontcourt, but I still think their core of Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, and Al Horford can only get them so far. I'll probably regret putting them this far back, but I'm going with it. The Bobcats might prove me wrong, but I have trouble putting any faith in that team.

Playoff Picture

I'm guessing my bias towards the Heat will end up messing this all up and I'm probably not giving the Hawks nearly enough credit by taking them out of the playoffs, but otherwise this seems entirely possible.

Important AFC North update

Who won today?

Who's 4-1?

Who's first in the AFC North?

Who dey?

Cincinnati Bengals!





1. Cincinnati Bengals 4-1-0
2. Baltimore Ravens 3-2-0
3. Pittsburgh Steelers 3-2-0
4. Cleveland Browns 1-4-0

Another Preseason Posterization by Gerald Wallace

Ok, so this one isn't nearly as nice as Shannon Brown demoralizing Mikki Moore, but it's still a pretty sick dunk. The main reason I wanted to post this one was that Gerald Wallace's victim was New Orleans' Sean Marks, who HAMS once described as looking like a high school science teacher. I always thought that was pretty hilarious and true.

Shannon Brown Posterizes Mikki Moore

Shannon Brown has been making waves on Twitter because of this ridiculous posterization of Mikki Moore from the Lakers 118-101 preseason victory over the Warriors. Personally, I avoid Twitter at all costs (unless, of course, it involves Ron Artest), so I could really care less about that. But seriously, that dunk was NASTY and deserves all the attention it can get. So if that means people have to be "tweeting" about it, I guess that's fine.

Rush Limbaugh - loudmouth, arch-conservative, St. Louis Rams owner?

The St. Louis Rams are currently owned by Chip Rosenbloom, who inherited the team last season from his mother after her death last year. Rosenbloom now wishes to sell the team, and admirably he wants to keep the Rams in St. Louis. Hopefully Chip will be very admirable about whom he sells the team to, now that the rumors of Rush Limbaugh attempting to purchase the team have been confirmed.

Joining with the NHL's St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts, he and Rush are bidding to purchase Rosenbloom's majority steak in the team. My immediate reaction was that I love the NFL, and I hate Limbaugh (and will not even bother justifying this hatred, as it should be quite obvious).

I wouldn't have bothered to even post about this at the time though, if it were not for an excellent article penned by former NFL lineman Roman Oben for the Washington Post. The article is short, direct, and raises a number of good reasons to keep Rush out of the NFL. He writes very articulately about how much of the African American community (you know, the majority of the players) would feel about having Rush as one of the 32 owners. You should read it. Here's another link lazy asses.


Oh, you're still here? Well here are Oben's best points:

He brings up Rush's critique of Donovan McNabb's quarterbacking skills based on his being black. I will remind Dank-Game readers that McNabb has been a top 5 QB for most of the decade.

He brings up Rush's repeated demands for stricter penalties for even the lowest-level drug offenses (which is widely known to disproportionately effect minorities). Oben goes on to reiterate that Rush himself was "criminally addicted to Oxycontin for many years."

He mentions that Rush would not attract many black players in free agency. This would be damaging for the NFL as a whole, which strives for parity between the teams.

In his conclusion, Oben reminds us how much the NFL stresses character, and that NFL owners must be held to the same standard.

In my conclusion I won't be nearly as eloquent. I'm just going to say FUCK RUSH LIMBAUGH

Chadisms, by Ochocinco

Nothing new here, but some pretty good Chad moments from the last few months. Meant to post this yesterday, but life intervened in the form of my office job.

This post does little to add to the myth of Ochocinco, but it's still fun to watch.

Week 4 NFL Observations

We're a quarter of the way through the NFL season, and I think it's time to analyze my season predictions:

AFC

NFC

First, in the Bengals' AFC-N, I am dead on so far. Although the Bengals and Ravens are tied for first place, I basically got it right. I must say that the middle of the season gives me cause for concern. The Bengals have a tough slate coming up, against the Ravens twice, Texans and Bears at home, and Pittsburgh on the road. It may be tough to emerge with a winning record, while Pittsburgh has some serious softballs in Detroit and Cleveland. As the Bengals end of season slate is fairly soft, so long as they emerge within playoff contention I think they can make it. I don't expect the Browns to win more than a couple games, and I don't think the Ravens will lose more than a few.

I was also pretty dead on the NFC-W. San Francisco is clearly the class of the division right now, and with pretty bad teams in St. Louis and Seattle, Arizona should at least find their way to second place.

I'm killing it the NFC-N too. Minnesota remains undefeated, and after a very poor week one showing, Chicago looks like a playoff contender. Green Bay looks improved, except for their offensive line, but I think even a 9-7 season could lead them to 3rd place in the division. My prediction that the Lions would win at least one game came true. Maybe they'll win a second against Pittsburgh?

It's too early to call in the NFC-E, but the two teams I put on top - Philadelphia and New York - are clearly better than Dallas and Washington. The Redskins look pretty bad though, so they might not manage to best the Cowboys in the division, and it looks like the Giants may be a hair better than the Eagles after all.

Actually, I'm doing pretty well in the NFC. In the South, I was wrong about the Panthers, but the Saints are clearly on their way to winning the division, and the Buccaneers are clearly on their way to last place. I don't know what's wrong with the Panthers, but it remains possible for them to pull out of a 0-3 funk.

In the rest of the AFC, I made some mistakes. The biggest were in the AFC-S. I put the Titans on top and the Colts at third. Well, the Colts look like one of the 3 best teams in football, and the Titans are amazingly 0-4, most recently losing to a Jaguars team that most (myself included) had written off. Well, now the Jags and Texans are 2-2, so both could make mid season runs at playoff berths, while the Titans are basically already done for the year, a year after having the best record in football. Strange.

The AFC-W features the single biggest surprise for me - an undefeated Broncos team. I still think the Chargers can come roaring back for the division crown, just like they did last year. And I'm not too surprised that Kansas City and Oakland aren't very good. The main surprise is that the Chargers are actually facing competition to win this division.

Last, the AFC-E threw me off as well. The Jets are tied for first with a re-emerging New England team. Buffalo and Miami both look mediocre, so I expect this dynamic to play out for the rest of the year. The big question is whether both the Jets and Pats can make the playoffs. I'd be pretty thrilled if the Patriots don't.

If I'm still looking decent, I might revisit these again at the season's mid point.

Football vs. Basketball

It's ON in Cleveland!

(graphic courtesy of SlimMcFavorite . . . it was my idea though)

Specifically, Browns "star" (he's really not that good) Braylon Edwards and Cavaliers mega-super-all-time-greatest-to-ever-wear-23-according-to-himself-best-of-all-time-floats-like-a-butterfly-stings-like-the-manta-ray-that-killed-the-crocodile-hunter-(what-too-soon?)-star LeBron James are in the middle of an ugly public feud.

So, LeBron is apparently friends with some Cleveland-area events promoter named Edward Givens. At roughly 2:30 in the morning, Braylon approached Givens, who was talking with people outside a nightclub. The conversation quickly went sour.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer, according to Givens:

"Braylon comes up and started saying things, degrading me. He said if it wasn't for LeBron or the Four Horsemen, I wouldn't have what I have, nor would I be able to get girls. Everyone knows Braylon has a problem with LeBron. So I had to speak up for myself. The conversation started to escalate. As some of his teammates started to pull him back, he punched me. I have a black eye and a cut. I'm not a violent guy.

"As long as I've known Braylon, I've allowed him and his friends to come into our events free of charge. Whatever jealousy he has with LeBron, he felt he needed to take it out on me."

Juicy! The best part is the revelation that "everyone knows Braylon has a problem with LeBron." Well if they didn't, they sure do know! And Edwards may be facing assault charges.

But it totally doesn't end there. LeBron had more than a little bit to say on the matter, per the Associated Press:

"I've never crossed paths with Braylon before, but it seems like there's a little jealousy going on with Braylon and me and my friends. I have no idea why. I've never said anything to Braylon at all. But for him to do that is very childish. My friend is 130 pounds. Seriously. It's like hitting one of my kids. It doesn't make sense."

Not the harshest of words, but a slight escalation. Speaking later to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, James pushed the envelope:

"I know how to handle myself as a professional athlete and I take care of my friends and my family. It is unfortunate that some guys don't understand that. You are a role model to kids and you should carry yourself that way on and off the field. And I carry that. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize myself or my family. I'm one of the guys that look at being a professional athlete at more than just being out on the court."

James more or less does seem to carry himself well as a professional athlete, but clearly this comment will only inflame this "rivalry." I shudder to call it that though, as Edwards will never have the cachet that LeBron does in Cleveland. Why he choses to carry beef with LeBron, who claims they've never met, seems pretty pointless.

On a wider scale, it seems odd that an NFL player would bother beefing with an NBA player. The NFL is currently considerably more popular. But if it were going to happen anywhere, it would have to be Cleveland. The Mistake on the Lake is probably the only city hosting both an NBA and NFL team were the NBA team has eclipsed the NFL team in popularity.

In Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Washington and Dallas, the NFL teams are more popular - no contest. As much as Boston loves the Celtics, they are nuts for the Pats. Even during Jordan-mania, Chicago seemed to more-or-less equally love their Bears.

But in Cleveland, the Cavs are the only glimmering hope for a city that is currently most famous for having low budget tourism videos written about how shitty it is (I won't even mention the Indians World Series appearance from a few years back, as baseball is boring).

But maybe, just maybe this will be the beginning of an all out-war between the two greatest American sports. Is it possible that Miami-residents Dwayne Wade and Jason Taylor carry a deap-seated hatred of each other? Could Kevin Garnet and Randy Moss fight for the hearts of Boston? Will Steve Nash and Kurt Warner prove that the old guys in Phoenix want in on the fight?

Or maybe some drunk asshole just punched some dude.

UPDATE:

Braylon Edwards was traded to the New York Jets this morning.