The MJ controversy

With Michael Jordan's recent comments that he could put up 100 points in todays NBA, I just had to chime in. This isn't the first time that an old guard player has gone off about the quality of play in the modern NBA; I've heard Oscar Robertson rip the league too. I think it is ridiculous for MJ to say he could score 100 points. I kind of hope Kobe does it just to shut him up. The talent pool for the NBA is WAY bigger now then in Jordan's time. Basketball is truly a world sport now, ironically enough thanks in part to the dream team. Look at the Lakers, their second best player is Pau Gasol. The second best team in the world now is probably the Spanish National team. When MJ played, the depth of international talent was much lower. MJ was on a whole different level than everyone else when it came to conditioning. Now I think it is a different story with many more athletes getting in better condition. Just look at Lebron, man. Don't let MJ fool you, there is still plenty of physical defense in the NBA (ahem, Ron Artest). I mean, did you watch the Finals last year? It was a slugfest!

A Belated OKC perspective on "The Decision"

I'm not here to lampoon LeBron James and his ludicrus "The Decision" ESPN special. Dank Game, among many, many others, has done that plenty already.

Instead I've allowed a little time to pass, hopefully instilling reason into my OKC-themed reaction. So here it goes:

Kevin Durant will be the 2010-11 NBA MVP. And the runner-up will probably be Kobe Bryant.

Here's why:

James won MVP honors as the defacto leader of a Cavaliers team built around him. And it is a regular season award, so any talk of him not truly stepping up in the playoffs is inconsequential. LeBron was the undisputed focus of the team that won the most regular season ball games in the NBA in the 2009-10 season.

And the runner up was Kevin Durant, from the somewhat more team-oriented Oklahoma City Thunder. OKC was only able to muster an 8th seed in a crowded Western Conference, but coming off a truly bad debut season for the OKC franchise the year before, Durant quickly reestablished himself as a young superstar. He cemented this status by supplanting James as the NBA scoring leader and again winning the All-Star weekend HORSE competition (I know nobody cares about that, but I love mentioning it).

So now, with the "Three Headed Monster" in Miami, how can James (or Wade and Bosh for that matter) truly put up MVP stats? LeBron's points per game will almost have to go down, as the offense will no longer depend on him nearly every possession; the days of him playing point-forward should be over. Although his post-season aspirations should benefit as a result of this, the fact remains James is no longer the heart and soul of his team.

But Durant is. And unless Kobe has a season that makes him look a decade younger, Durant should easily be able to repeat as scoring champion. With the Lakers getting another year older, the window is opening for the Thunder, and I definitely see them enough games (55?) to put them in the top half of the West. That coupled with his prolific scoring ability will push Kevin Durant to an MVP season.

And Kobe, the likely runner-up, will have to watch as the West begins to slip away from his Lakers.

Trashy Florida

I love the NBA. The real question is, can the dorky Heat beat the Lakers and or the Celts? When these dudes played together last they nneeeeeeded the BLACK MAMBA to beat the Spanish national team in the Olympics, which, ironically enough included Pau Gasol. I wonder, are they the third best team in the league now?

It seems extreme to question them like that, but the burden of proof is on the King from now on.

Appreciate This Moment, Folks

Tonight's the night, Dank Gamers! Since October, everything has been building towards this moment. Appreciate it, because it's not often that the Finals come down to a game 7 with two evenly matched opponents. Who knows what's going to happen.

The outcome of this game is huge for so many reasons. If the Lakers win, it will vault Kobe Bryant into a realm that few others have. He will, without a doubt, be one of the greatest ever to step on the hardwood. Also, if the Lakers win, Pau Gasol will shed the label that he is "soft" once and for all. And if Derek Fisher hits a big shot at some point down the stretch, he will come to be regarded as the new Robert Horry. For Phil Jackson, it will just be another year, another ring.

If the Celtics win, the big four will cement their legacies as true Celtic greats. Paul Pierce has probably already left his mark as a Boston legend, so this game weighs more on the legacies of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. If they lose, Allen and Garnett could be remembered somewhat less favorably assuming this is their last shot at a title with Boston. Don't get me wrong, both are future Hall of Famers who will be remembered as champions, but a win tonight will greatly impact their legacies for the better. As for Rondo, he's got plenty of time to shape his own legacy, but a second championship in his fourth year in the league certainly wouldn't hurt.

Anyhow, there's nothing I can tell you that hasn't already been said, so just sit back and enjoy the biggest game in basketball to happen in years. I would make a prediction, but I truly have absolutely no idea what to expect.

At Least There Really Are Irish People in Boston

Here's the thing; I hate both the BostonCeltics and the Lakers. I actually can't think of any two NBA teams I dislike more. I hate them both like I hate the New York Yankees. The only championship match-up in all of sports that I could detest more would be the Dallas Cowboys vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers.

BUT - If I'm going to keep this interesting, I'd better disagree with SlipperyMcFaggot (I'm totally out of clever ones, so these will probably just get increasingly vulgar).

That's right - teenage_mustache is officially picking the Boston Celtics as 2010 NBA champions. In five.

Here's another contributing factor: How many rings do I need to see Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson win? Well, I've seen more than enough already. And I don't give a damn about the fact that the first three-peat was with Shack and now this is really Kobe's team. If I remember correctly Kobe was still a starting player back then.

Now for Artest. I'll be damned if he gets a ring before Chad Ochocinco! I rooted for Barkley as a kid. How many rings did he get? Patrick Ewing? You get the idea.

OK, so there was really no point to post this. But now you know where I stand. Go team that's not the Lakers!

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Kobe Schools KG

That's right Dank Game, the NBA Finals begin tonight! Because I've decided to back the Lakers, this week's Throwback Posterization is Kobe Bryant serving it up on KG and Rasho Nesterovic in the first round of the 2003 Playoffs. The fifth seeded Lakers would go on to beat Kevin Garnett and the 4th seeded Timberwolves in six games, but the Lakers would then lose to the number one seeded Spurs in six games in the second round. This put an end to their hopes of winning their fourth straight championship.

Garnett tries to close out on Kobe on the perimeter, which Kobe takes advantage of and blows passed him. Garnett attempts to keep up with him as he takes it to the rim, but Kobe goes up so quickly and strong with the reverse jam that KG doesn't stand a chance. Rasho Nesterovic tries to provide some help defense, but it seems as if he didn't expect Kobe to go for the reverse dunk.

Butt Buddies For The Win

It's no secret that Ron Artest has a bizarre relationship with Kobe Bryant. For instance, in 2008 when Kobe and the Lakers fell short to the Boston Celtics in the Finals, Ron Ron walked in on Kobe while he was showering by himself. Artest told him that he was going to come to LA and help him win a title. I can only assume he pat Kobe on the butt on his way out.

Artest idolizes Kobe. Just watch this clip of Ron interviewing Kobe before they were teammates.

You don't even have to watch more than a minute of the interview to figure out that Ron is completely enthralled by Kobe. He seems to hang onto his every word and stroke his ego with nearly every question. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Ron proposed that he stroke something more than Kobe's ego after the cameras stopped rolling.

Kobe enjoys the interview almost as much as Ron, if not more, as he seems to bask in every moment of Artest's idolization. Although the two have had some fierce battles between one another, such as last year's Western Conference Semi-Finals, I think it's safe to say that Ron Ron and Kobe are butt buddies. And because of this, I am cheering for the Lakers to beat the Boston Celtics in the Finals.

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Marion Finishes Oop Over Kobe

With the Suns evening up the series against the Lakers on Tuesday night, I felt it was appropriate for this week's Throwback Posterization to be a Suns player dunking on a Laker. I was hoping to find a video with two players who still play for both respective teams, but I had to settle for less. It was either young Amare dunking on Karl Malone during his days with LA, or Shawn Marion as a Sun dunking on Kobe. Marion's dunk was sweeter, so I went with it. Plus, I figure the Dank Game community would prefer seeing Kobe get served.

This dunk is from the first round of the 2006 NBA Playoffs, in which the 2nd seeded Suns came back from a 3-1 deficit to eliminate the 7th seeded Lakers. Before this year's series started, several Lakers cited this 2006 first round elimination as a source of motivation to seek vengeance on the Suns. Here's to hoping the Lakers blow another comfortable lead to Phoenix in the playoffs.

Now onto that dunk. Kobe gets stuck playing 1 on 2 against Diaw and Marion as his teammates attempt to force a turnover on the other end. After the Suns get the ball down court, Kobe is pretty much screwed, as Diaw lobs it to Marion for the throw down over Kobe.

Classical Finale

Let me go on record as saying Mike Brown should be fired. I had a little Lebron fatigue this week because of all the coverage. Only World Wide Wes could really have any insight, but, like Gnarls Barkley, who cares? It's a lot of talk for a team that lost three straight--reminds me of Bill Belicheck last year talking about the Patriots.

It looks like another Celtics v Lakers final, which is really what the NBA conspiracy theorists should worry about. I mean seriously, only Nike wants Lebron v Kobe, not David Stern. The team everyone should be talking about is the Celtics. I know the Lakers are the defending champs, but the Celtics were sans KG last year. Last I remember the Celtics with KG, they ripped the Lakers in the Finals and everyone was questioning Pau Gasol's toughness.

Both teams are a little older; I wonder which one has the toughness to win. This is what the Lakers got Ron Artest for. Ron could be the defensive leader they lacked in 2008. I think people sometimes forget that Ron led the Rockets last year, the only team in the Playoffs to take the Lakers to 7 games. But Rasheed Wallace gives the Celtics even more toughness as well. It should be a great series, but here I go talking like the match up is already set. Damn, is Dank Game becoming the George Noory of the NBA blogosphere?

The Black Mamba Strikes Again

Kobe showed off his closing ability and truly looked like the black mamba of old. He broke down Wesley Matthews in the post several times in the fourth quarter, getting to the foul line with impunity. On the day Lebron was awarded the MVP it was crazy to see Kobe going to the line with the MVP chants rocking at Staples Center. Lebron got 116 out of 123 votes so I'm sure Kobe wanted to show that the vote shouldn't have been that one sided.

All schoolyard MVP talk aside, the Lakers looked really good defensively in this game. Odom and Gasol wouldn't let Milsap or Boozer get up many easy shots. The Lakers are finally starting to look like the team everyone was talking about at the beginning of the year with their versatile defenders. They even put Ron Artest on Deron Williams for some of the game. Phil Jackson may need to do that more going forward because about all Derek Fisher can do is foul Deron Williams. Williams torched them for 17 points in the first quarter.

I can't wait for game 2 because, despite the way the Lakers played, the Jazz had a chance to win at the end of the game. They were actually up 4 late in the fourth before Kobe took over the game.

Ron Artest's Mustache Smothers Durant/Thunder

After a convincing 110-89 game 4 victory in Oklahoma City on Saturday, the Thunder appeared overwhelmed by the Lakers last night in Los Angeles. What made the difference in the Lakers' 111-87 win? While many people are crediting Kobe's defense on Russell Westbrook, the real difference was Ron Artest's mustache.

"When Ron had the fucked up dyed hair in games 3 and 4 in Oklahoma City, I was able to get into a good rhythm. His shit just look so botched that I got into a mindset like, 'Can't nobody with fucked up hair like that stop me,' and I was able to just take it to him," said Kevin Durant in his post-game interview.

"Tonight though, I guess I just wasn't prepared for the mustache and bald head. That shit was mad intimidating. I'm just going to have to watch some tape with coach and figure out how to overcome it. He might come out with a totally new look though, so I have to be prepared for anything."

Ron Artest also gave credit to his mustache for getting into Durant's mind.

"I could tell that the dyed hair was losing its power after games 1 and 2, so I knew that I had to come back into LA with a new look that would throw Durant off his game," said Artest.

"As soon as I finished shaving my head and getting my mustache right, I looked into the mirror and said to my mustache, 'You're going to be the X-factor tonight, 'stache. Can't nobody get by you.' From that moment on, I just knew we were going to take them out. As great as my mustache was, I think my bald head deserves a lot of credit for this win too."

While Artest's 'stache proved to make the difference last night, can it continue to slow down the Thunder on their home court? Lakers' coach Phil Jackson is already planning what Artest's next look will be for game 6.

"Now that Ron is bald, we're starting to run out of options as far as what to do with his appearance," said Jackson, "but we've been tossing around some ideas on how he can come into Oklahoma City with a new, and even more intimidating look. Our first idea was to bring in a professional make up artist to make Ron look like one of the zombies from Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' music video, but that little bitch David Stern caught wind of that and threatened to fine me again. It's a real shame too, because we a had whole dance routine in the works for the announcing of the starting line-ups. At least we have Pau who basically looks straight out of the 'Thriller' video."

Because he's a big fan of mustaches and the Thunder, I tried to get a comment from Dank Game's Teenage Mustache regarding Ron's 'stache and the Thunder's loss last night. Thus far he hasn't answered his phone or responded to e-mails. I suspect that he's jealous of Ron's mustache and embarrassed by how much crazier Artest has proven to be than the Cincinnati Bengal's Chad Ochocinco.

Obsessed Kobe Fan

Although this is fake, it wouldn't surprise me to hear a real Kobe dickrider say some shit like this.

Oh, It's On

That's right Dank Game, the moment has arrived. With the NBA playoffs only a few days away, the first official match-up is our beloved Oklahoma City Thunder vs. the hated Los Angeles Lakers.

Now I don't want to hear any guff about how the Lakers are defending champions, number one in the West, or a certain number 24. Because none of that is going to matter. The Thunder are too hungry.

Durant is the reigning scoring king of the NBA. Kobe Bryant is a pathetic fourth in the league. Russell Westbrook has 645 assists on the year. The closer Laker is this Kobe Bryant fellow again, with 365.

These stats tell me that the Lakers have only one legitimate offensive threat. Tell me how the Lakers are going to keep up with the Thunder air show with Serge "the Congolese Squeeze" Ibaka blocking half of everything Kobe tosses up with? (Ibaka has 91 blocks on the season as a rookie - he's also from the Democratic Republic of Congo - I'm trying to invent a nickname for him)

So that should settle it. Thunder over the Lakers. In six.

The only remaining question is whether it will be the Dank Game approved Miami Heat or Cleveland Cavaliers taking on the Thunder in the finals.

Stats provided by NBA.com

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Young Kobe Throws It Down

This weeks Throwback Posterization features a young Kobe Bryant playing in what appears to be some sort of high school all-star game at the Palace of Auburn Hills. Kobe is around 17-years old here, so this is likely in 1996 during his senior year of high school. During this same year, Kobe took Brandy to his high school prom. Just thought that was worth noting. Kobe gets some impressive extension on the dunk, which allows him to get the ball up and over the defender, who does a decent job at contesting the dunk.

Artest Gets Odom Down with Orange Slices

Referee: Look out, Kobe! Artest's gonna stab you in the back!

Kobe: Huh?

Artest: I was just cuttin' some orange slices for Lamar! I'd never do Kobe dirty like that!

Odom: He cool, ref. Just helpin' me kick my Now and Later habit.

According to Lakers columnist Kevin Ding, Ron Artest has turned infamous candy addict Lamar Odom onto orange slices. Odom has taken such a liking to them that the Lakers bring a bag to the bench for every game. It seems the Vitamin C did him well tonight in San Antonio, as Odom contributed 19 points and 13 boards in a 92 - 83 victory over the Spurs.

During last year's playoffs, Odom insisted he played well when he ate candy for breakfast. Can Lamar's new found love of orange slices help him go cold turkey on Skittles and Starburst Jellybeans?

Nope.

Because Lil Wayne is Lamar Odom's dude, and Lil Wayne is also a known candy addict. Weezy's addiction is so bad that he's had a grill fitted on his teeth to hide how rotted they've become. It's just a matter of time before Lil Wayne lures Lamar back into his binge candy eating. Before long, Lil Wayne will have Odom back on Supercool.

All this talk of candy reminds me... Aren't we due for another installment of Seanz Snax?

What a Show

As mediocre as the Heat has been the past two seasons, they always manage to show up against the Lakers. Maybe Dwyane Wade is determined to always put on a show when Miami is on primetime or maybe the Heat somehow match up well against the Lakers. Whatever it is, these two teams have had some classic games and last night was no exception. There were 31 lead changes and 19 ties, making it the most back and forth game of the season.

Luckily this one didn't end like their last meeting, although it did come frighteningly close. After Quentin Richardson hit a three pointer to put the Heat up 99-97 with 11.1 seconds left, everyone was expecting Kobe to drain a three for about his 18th game winner of the season. Instead, Kobe drove on Wade and pulled up for a short jumper to knot the game at 99 with 3.3 seconds remaining. On the ensuing play, Wade couldn't get a good look with Lamar Odom all over him and into overtime it went.

Kobe tried to singlehandedly take over the game in overtime, which ultimately led to the Lakers coming up short. Kobe knocked down several ridiculous jumpers in isolation plays, but the Heat kept answering with big shots by Haslem and Arroyo. The key play for Miami came with 18.7 seconds left, when Jermaine O'Neal drew a charge on Kobe driving the lane. Two free throws by Carlos Arroyo would seal the game for Miami. During overtime, J.O. told his teammates that he would be waiting to draw the charge on the next player to drive the lane, and he came through on that promise.

Damn, it feels good to see the Heat finally beat a contender rather than wilting under pressure. They're now back at .500 with the 8th seed, just a game and a half in front of Charlotte but also a game and a half behind Toronto and the 5th seed. The East is still inferior to the West, but at least the playoff race is interesting.

Lady Lakers to fill in for missing NBA All-Stars

It has been reported from several super trust worthy news sources that the Lady Lakers of, uh, Michigan will replace the NBA players who will sit out this Sunday night for the NBA All-Star Game in Dallas at 7 PM EST on TNT. Commissioner David Stern attempted to find NBA players to replace the All-Stars who will miss Sunday's game, but apparently every player he contacted had already planned a vacation and/or told him to "get the fuck out [they] face with that All-Star Weekend bullshit." Stern had hoped to have the following players to replace these All-Stars:

Denver's Chauncey Billups for New Orleans' Chris Paul (injured knee)

The Clippers' Chris Kaman for Portland's Brandon Roy (injured hamstring)

New York's David Lee for Philadelphia's Allen Iverson (attending to sick daughter)

Dallas Maverick/New Beginnings Retirement Home resident Jason Kidd for the Lakers' Kobe Bryant (injured ankle, broken finger, back spasms, obsessive work ethic, delusions of grandeur, unhealthy Michael Jordan fetish, etc.)

The Lady Lakers seem poised to take the court at Cowboys Stadium in front of the largest crowd assembled in basketball history with more than 90,000 expected. When reporters asked if they were ready to perform against the NBA's elite in front of a record breaking crowd, they responded in unison with a resounding "Duh!"

Mr. Big Shot

Chauncey Billups is a dog, man. He hit 9 of 13 three pointers on his way to 39 points as the Nuggets trumped the Lakers 126-113 last night. I think Chauncey is one guy who Phil Jackson does not want to see again in the playoffs. Chauncey learned from the best, Larry Brown. The 2004 NBA Champion Pistons beat arguably the most stacked Lakers team, with Shaq, Kobe, Gary Payton, and Karl Malone. No one gave the Pistons a chance, yet Larry Brown got the best out of Chauncey and Rasheed Wallace. That series was where he earned his nickname, Mr. Big Shot, as he won the Finals MVP. I'd love to see another Lakers-Nuggets Western Conference finals. It would be an old rematch of sorts for Kenyon Martin too; he was on the Nets team that lost to the Lakers in 2002. I'm interested to see if George Karl could get them to the finals. I mean he couldn't do it last year, but I think Chauncey is figuring out how to lead this team better. A lot of people have been saying that the Nuggets are the team with the best chance to beat the Lakers. I'm not so sure about that though because of the beast in the east, Lebron James--You got to know I'm a say that.

MVP, MVP, MVP!

Lebron showed his entire game on the last two possessions against the Oklahoma City Thunder. He grabbed a rebound, made a sweet pass to a wide open Boobie Gibson for a three to put the Cavs up by two. Then he plays Kevin Durant on the last meaningful possession for the Thunder and forces him into a really tough shot, which Lebron easily blocks. Red Auerbach would be proud because Lebron comes up with the ball after the block, gets fouled by Jeff Green, then makes two free throws amidst MVP chants to seal the win. He's becoming the best closer in the league and will be after Kobe.

Shannon Brown dunks on his own teammate, also some news on the Slam Dunk Contest

After a Kobe Bryant miss, Shannon Brown takes off to ridiculous heights with a put-back dunk. Brown's unsuspecting teammate Josh Powell goes up for the rebound and receives an unlikely posterization by his own teammate. Shannon Brown's ups are absolutely ridiculous. I said before the season that he ought to be in the All-Star Slam Dunk Contest after seeing this dunk from the preseason, and it seems that my wish just might come true. Apparently Nike may have mistakenly revealed Brown as a contestant on it's Basketball Blog, as they have begun promoting a Shannon Brown Nike iD Slam Dunk Design Contest. Ooops. Contestants will design their own colorway of the new Kobe V for Shannon to sport in the contest.

In other Slam Dunk Contest news, LeBron is still being noncommittal on whether he will participate after proclaiming he would during last year's contest. LeBron's being pretty lame about this. I wonder if he'd walk off the court to the locker room without shaking the winner's hand if he lost.

As for the other participants in the contest, the Raptors' DeMar DeRozan and the Clippers' Eric Gordon will face off in the first ever NBA All-Star Slam Dunk-In during halftime of the Rookie Challenge & Youth Jam (I think that's the Rookie vs. Sophomore game, but maybe it's something else). They will each get two minutes to throw down two dunks and the winner will be determined by fans texting. The winner will get to participate in the Slam Dunk Contest.

Props to J.E. Skeets of Ball Don't Lie