Funny Bengals Tweets Vol. II

Welcome back to Funny Bengals Tweets - the column where I don't have to come up with any original material. Here's what current and former Bengals players are tweeting about.

Former Bengals OT Willie Anderson (WillAnderson79) had a fun family night at Medieval Nights:

• Medieval Times with my son and my guests
• Show blood! I paid a lot for these tickets
• My son is like "Dad you realize this is not real?" I said "Boy shut it. Its real to me!" Hater!
• I wanna live this way foreal! Fight for your food, money and you queen! lol

Former Bengals DL John Thornton had an observation about Shitsburgh, and gave some parenting advice:

• Pittsburgh nightclubs suck. All their bouncers have lil man syndrome
• Who names their kid Wellington? wtf
  

Linebacker Rey Muauluga took in some TV and some recreational sports:

• Watching 16 and Pregnant haha. I hope this show is fake. These girls are way too young
• Winton woods to play some frisbee golf [editor's note - this is probably only sweet if you're familiar with Cincinnati]
  

Wide receiver Andre Caldwell (caldwell87) offered some fashion advice and a possible idea for a start-up business:

• If you wear tall T's and extra big pants in 2010 you style is dead
• Are there any good car wash companies that come to the house?
  

Defensive end Antwan "He's Not Human" Odom (AntwanOdom98) is a fan of the OchoCinco News Network:

• @ocnnbreaking will soon be the leading news source on the planet

Offensive Lineman Evan Mathis (ergoism) expressed his loyalties:

• I pledge allegiance to the swag

Defensive tackle Tank Johnson (TankJohson99) had some thoughts about popular snack cakes:

• I bet little debbie aint so little!
  
• Little debbie is definitely Big Debrah now!
  

Until next time Dank-Gamers

Finally The Ocho Does Something Else Dank Game Worthy

At long last! The king of the NFL circus returns with something interesting. In this case it's not particularly interesting, but it did allow me to do some ridiculous Photoshopping, so I won't complain.

As I noted in an earlier post, Chad Ochocinco has been lobbying his team to get pending free agent wide receiver Terrell Owens to Cincinnati next season. This went as far as TO "promising" to change his name to Ocho Uno if he winds up a Bengal since he wears number 81. It sounded like mostly a joke, so the story pretty much left the minds of the media.

But perhaps you're forgetting that now that he has a Twitter account, Ochocinco thinks he is a member of the media as the OCNN. And he was not going to let the issue die, as much as the Bengals front office probably wishes it would.

And then ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter entered the ring with his own Twitter account. Schefter tweeted that "OCNN missed on T.O. to Bengals. Not Happening. Hey, get in line, Ocho. It has happened to all of us." Schefter was probably kind in actually implying OCNN was a media network and not a way for a player to try to force his hand, but the Ocho considered it a slam nonetheless.

So naturally he responded via a tweet. Directed at Schefter, Ocho believes the two "can settle this all ESPN analyst to all OCNN analyst in PAINTBALL WAR." The image featured depicts what I believe this would look like.

His arms probably wouldn't be white, but I got a little lazy about it. The ridiculous looking helmet was part of the original image.

Ochocinco does Top Diez list

The black Mexican has been hitting the airwaves all week. He has both a new autobiography and a new sports network to pitch. Oh, and he's in the middle of a terrific football season, so the dude is pretty busy.

I've been planing to write an entire entry about OCNN (Ocho Cinco News Network), but have not had time in lieu of 3 straight mega-overtime work weeks. Believe it or not, I do not get paid to contribute to this site. At least not until Slim gets his McFinances together.

Chad claims that he'll use OCNN to break info about NFL players and whatever else straight to the public. I think he's pretty serious about it too. He has a logo, and he's given at least two interviews in front of a wall of them, and it's got a yellow to orange to blue gradient thing going on.

More recently, Chad tried his hand at comedy. In support of his new autobiography (pictured above), the Ocho appeared on Late Night with David Letterman to deliver the nightly top ten list.

I'm pretty sure Ron Artest has never given a top ten list. I'm not so sure that he's written a book (this is Chad's second)

I'm damn sure he's never started a news network.

Oh, stop weeping Slim.