The Bengal's Big Chance

The Bengals have become well known in the Mike Brown era of ownership for making some of the worst personnel decisions in the league. The goal appears to be simple: build an incredibly unstable core of possibly talented, but definitely combustible athletes.

The question of why Brown chooses to run his team this way is moot. But assuming insanity in Cincinnati (Cinsanity?) really is the goal, there's one obvious obstacle in his way: these players keep getting arrested, suspended, drunk, fat, or in one tragic case dead.

So each and every year the Bengals sign the newest generation of miscreants. I'll go back a couple of years to illustrate:

In 2007 drunkard Odell Thurman and general asshole Shuan Smith (who was brought back to the team for a few games in 2009) left the team. The Bengals went out and got Harvard (freaking Harvard) quarterback Ryan "Crazy Legs" Fitzpatrick. In 2008 the team lost Chris Henry to suspension. They replaced him by drafting DUI machine Jason Shirley, and signing Jordan Palmer, who runs the ridiculously nerdy RunPee. Later in the season they added Cedric "DUI-by-land-or-by-sea" Benson.

Zoo Babies

Spring has sprung! The NFL draft happened this weekend, which means we get our first peak at the newest Bengals. Without further ado, I present to you the newest tiger cubs in Cincinnati:


Here's first round pick Jermaine Gresham nursing. He's predicted to be the teams new number one Tight End. He comes to Cincinnati all the way from the jungles of the Oklahoma Sooners. Hope he grows up into a mauler.









This beautiful creature is the only white Bengal tiger Cincinnati drafted this year. His name is Jordan Shipley, and he hails from Austin, Texas, home of the Longhorns. He was a third round pick, and his main position is wide reciever (as a side note - yes that's right. The Bengals drafted a white wide receiver).




And here's 2nd and 3rd round picks Carlos Dunlap (left) and Brandon Ghee playing together. Both will look to get snaps on defensive in nickel situations. Carlos is a Defensive end, and as you can see he's doing his best impression of an alligator. That's because he grew up in Gainsville, FL. Brandon wails from Wake Forrest, and he's the fastest of the new cubs. He looks to become the team's number three cornerback.



That cuddly duo on the right is linebacker Roddick Muckelroy (left) and wide receiver Dezmon Briscoe. Roddick comes to Cincinnati from the University of Texas and was a fourth round pick. Dezmon comes from Kansas, and arrives in Cincinnati via the sixth round.






These are the three biggest cubs, so no surprise they'll be looking to play offensive and defensive line. On the left is Geno Atkins, a defensive tackle from Georgia picked in the fourth round. In the middle is fifth round pick Otis Hudson. He'll be playing Guard. That cutie on the right is Reggie Stephens who hails from Iowa State. He was picked in the seventh round and will face an uphill battle to stay on the team.



It's a shame they can't stay young forever.