NFC South Preview

Ready for more? The NFC South contains the reigning NFL champion New Orleans Saints. It also has a solid Atlanta Falcons team most are predicting to advance to the playoffs after posting winning seasons the last two years. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are clearly going through a rebuilding process after winning only three games last year while handing the reigns over to a rookie quarterback midway through the season. The Carolina Panthers are the biggest question mark, being one of the youngest teams in football. However, they're only two season removed from a 12-win season.

Division Winner: New Orleans Saints

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt; they did just win the Superbowl. They're clearly now the team to beat, but quarterback Drew Brees is clearly up to the challenge. Last year he threw the highest completion percentage in league history. The year before that he threw for the second most yards in NFL history. New Orleans will stay competitive so long as Brees is healthy (which unfortunately has been an issue earlier in his career). The Saints defense is not even close to the unit the offense puts on the field, but they make plays. Although New Orleans gives up a lot of yards, they also manage a lot of turnovers. And with Brees leading the offense and scoring about thirty points a game, the defense doesn't exactly have to be great. I think eleven wins is fair.

Division Runner-Up: Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons starting quarterback and running back were both injured for multiple games last season, and they still managed a winning season in a tough conference. Assuming they stay healthy this year, they should make it back to playoffs under the strength of third year quarterback Matt Ryan. This team has done as well in free agency as just about anyone, adding future Hall of Fame tight end Anthony Gonzalez and starting running back Michael Turner. The Falcons however are mostly not a team of superstars, but a solid group that play their roles and are simply well coached. They shouldn't have to struggle for ten wins a wildcard, and could easily push the Saints for the division's top spot.

Division Third Place: Carolina Panthers

Obviously this preview looks a lot like how the division ended up last year. But it just doesn't seem likely for an other outcome, except a flip flop of the top two. Carolina is in the weirdest kind of rebuilding mode with the youngest imaginable trio of quarterbacks and a head coach entering the final year of his contract with no extension talks in sight. The team publicly committed to quarterback Matt Moore, then drafted two high profile QBs. So it seems unlikely for the Panthers to make a push at the division this year, although their excellent running back stable and above average defense should keep them well ahead of Tampa Bay. I expect six or seven wins, and a new head coach in 2011.

Division Basement: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

In the NFC South there's a strange phenomenon of the last place team from one year winning the division the following year. I for one would be completely shocked if this trend repeated itself in 2010. Although Tampa Bay is making positive strides, the franchise is obviously in a lengthy rebuilding phase, having changed head coaches and starting quarterbacks last year while getting rid of older veteran players - even those that were still producing. While I wouldn't be surprised if this was a formidable team within a few years, for no reason should this be big year for the Bucs. However, I think they can improve from three wins to probably five.

Jared Allen's mullet

With Ochocinco doing nothing of particular interest and JaMarcus Russell mostly staying out of the spotlight, I bring you one of Jared Allen's funniest recent comments.

Each year a new Madden NFL video game comes out, and each year it features a new player on the cover. It is believed by some that appearing on the cover is a curse, causing that player to have either a bad season or bad injury. This prophecy was most recently fulfilled by Steeler's safety Troy Polamalu, who missed the vast majority of the 2009 season with a knee injury after co-gracing the Madden cover with Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald.

Well don't count Allen among those who believe in the curse. According to ProFootballTalk.com, the Vikings defensive end is rallying his fans to push him to the top of the voting.

Here's why you should vote for him over Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne and Saints quarterback Drew Brees: Allen has made a promise to show of his trademark mullet as much as possible for the cover. In his own words, "If I make the cover, I'm going to straighten out my mullet and make it as trashy as possible. You have to highlight the tools that got you there."

So there you have it kids. Mullets make you better football players. For more on Jared Allen's mullet, please click here.

Geaux Saints

So Superbowl coverage has been non-stop for two weeks now. Every injury, one-on-one matchup and gambling topic has been talked into the ground. Every analyst has already picked their winner (usually the Colts) and practically every star player has given their two cents on air. And the afternoon of the big game I'm writing Dank Game's first Superbowl post.

Welcome outlandish predictions: Carson Palmer once suggested that someone would eventually die on a pro football field. Well, it's going happen tonight. My best guess is Colts running back Joseph Addai.

I definitely think a drunken fan will find a way to run on the field (someone did at the NCAA championship bowl game this year). Saints quarterback Drew Brees will manage to hit him or her for a 70 yard gain.

A record 48 points will be scored in the first quarter, including TDs on 4 consecutive plays.

While attempting to leap over defenders, Saints running back Pierre Thomas will be hit in the feet. After doing not one, not two, but three flips he'll land on his feet in stride for a 60+ yard TD run.

Colts quarterback Peyton Manning will go all Tonya Harding on Saints safety Darren Sharper's knee.

When asked what he plans on doing after having won the Superbowl, Drew Brees will respond "I'm going to Busch Gardens. In Virginia. When it's warmer and the park reopens."

All in all, a final score of 132-78 with the Saints on top. After all, who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?

Slim's Week 6 NFL Observations

Once again, I'm filling in for Teenage Mustache with NFL coverage while he's out havin' fun in the warm California sun.

First up, a bit of good news for us Cincinnatians. While Antwan Odom is out for the season and will udergo surgery for his ruptured Achille's tendon, Domata Peko's knee injury is not serious. His availability for next week's home game against the Bears (which I'll be attending BTW) will be assessed later this week. Also, rookie tackle Andre Smith will return to practice after being sidelined all season from a broken foot suffered in practice.

There were some brutal blowouts on Sunday, most notably the Patriots who destroyed the lowly Titans 59-0 in the midst of New England flurries. The Pats set franchise records for points and yards with 619. Tom Brady also had the most touchdown passes in a quarter by any player since 1950, with five in the second quarter. The Titans are the worst defensive team in the league, and obviously they lived up to their reputation.

The Saints continued to impress, remaining undefeated at 5-0 as they beat the Giants 48-27. It should be noted that the Giants came into the game with the #1 defense in the league. Not sure if they still do after this one, though. After having two straight weeks without a touchdown pass, Drew Brees got back on track with 4 touchdown passes and 369 yards. I have to assume at this point the MVP picture has been narrowed down between Brees and Peyton Manning.

Brett Favre and the Vikings also remain undefeated at 6-0, after narrowly escaping a loss to the Ravens after a last second field goal miss that would have given Baltimore a one point victory had it been good. This gives Minnesota a comfortable lead in the NFC North, with the Packers in second at 3-2.

The Broncos and Colts are the only other remaining undefeated teams, as those old school brown and yellow unis that everyone seems to hate continue to keep Denver going strong. The Broncos knocked off division rivals San Diego to maintain their surprising run. I watched most of the first half and what stood out most was Denver's Eddie Royal, who returned a kickoff for a 93-yard touchdown in the first quarter as well as a punt for a 71-yard touchdown. Phillip Rivers and the Chargers offense were looking good in the first half, but those missteps on special teams ended up costing them the game.

What do you gotta say about the Broncos now, 'stache? I thought they were going to be the worst team in the NFL. I'm sure you'll be able to call me out on my NBA season predictions, so I should probably keep quiet.

Week Two NFL Observations

Back again, Mustache is bringing you his thoughts following week 2 of the NFL season. (As a side note, I'd like you all to sing "Baba O'Reilly" by the Who in your heads when thinking of me, replacing the lyric "Teenage Wasteland" with "Teenage_Mustache")

What a great weekend of football it was. The Bengals won, the Bearcats won, and the three teams I hate the most all lost. If not for a close Baltimore win, it would have been a perfect week.

Let's start with the biggest story of the week, the Pats going down the lowly Jets. I thought the Patriots were a lock to win this division after winning 11 games without Tom Brady last season. I also thought that Eric Mangini had train-wrecked this team, dooming them to mediocrity for years. But apparently quarterback Mark Sanchez was worth his draft status, as the Jets are now 2-0. And the Patriots look like anything but their nearly unbeatable 2007 selves.

Looking at where Mangini landed after the train wreck, the Cleveland Browns look like a 53-car pile-up (that's the number of players on an NFL roster - I couldn't come up with anything more clever). They lost to a good Vikings team week one, but looked absolutely awful against a poor Denver team that is somehow 2-0. I said before that I thought Denver would be the worst team in the league this year. I now believe that team will be the Browns. Jacksonville, Kansas City, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay will also be pretty awful, but most of these should come as no surprise.

The Bengals bounced back to beat a team on the road they were supposed to lose to. They looked shaky, with tons of penalties and the offensive line is still struggling, but the defense held their own with tons of sacks (mostly from Antwan Odom) and generally good play against a powerful offense. If they can pull out the win against the Steelers next week, look for the national media to start talking about them as a playoff team (or talk about them at all at least)

Two teams that have really impressed me so far this year are the Saints and the Colts. I picked the Saints to win their division, and I'm quite thrilled with their performance through two games. Drew Brees is on pace to throw 72 TD passes (let me be the first to say there's no way this will happen - but he may very well beat the 50 TD record Brady set in 2007). Their defense looks improved enough to build on the highest octane offense from last season.

The Colts have surprised me, as I thought this could be a down year for them. Almost their entire coach staff turned over, and yet Peyton Manning continues to impress. The MVP race is looking like a showdown between Brees, Manning, Adrian Peterson and maybe Philip Rivers and it's only week two!

Then again, it's just week two.