Jared Allen's mullet

With Ochocinco doing nothing of particular interest and JaMarcus Russell mostly staying out of the spotlight, I bring you one of Jared Allen's funniest recent comments.

Each year a new Madden NFL video game comes out, and each year it features a new player on the cover. It is believed by some that appearing on the cover is a curse, causing that player to have either a bad season or bad injury. This prophecy was most recently fulfilled by Steeler's safety Troy Polamalu, who missed the vast majority of the 2009 season with a knee injury after co-gracing the Madden cover with Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald.

Well don't count Allen among those who believe in the curse. According to ProFootballTalk.com, the Vikings defensive end is rallying his fans to push him to the top of the voting.

Here's why you should vote for him over Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne and Saints quarterback Drew Brees: Allen has made a promise to show of his trademark mullet as much as possible for the cover. In his own words, "If I make the cover, I'm going to straighten out my mullet and make it as trashy as possible. You have to highlight the tools that got you there."

So there you have it kids. Mullets make you better football players. For more on Jared Allen's mullet, please click here.

JaMarcus anyone?

So, I'm going to need a contingency plan if Ochocinco is going to resemble a halfway sane person going forward. Fortunately, there are plenty of borderline lunatics in the NFL.

My first thought was Jared Allen, the Minnesota Vikings lumberjack/bullrider/incredible hulk of a defensive end. Video evidence:

But after seeing this YouTube video of Oakland Raider's quarterback JaMarcus Russel at an NBA game with what the announcers estimate is $1 million worth of jewelry, I think I've got my man.

And of course it makes sense. Oakland! Owner Al Davis is a lunatic. The fans are lunatics. The stadium is lovingly referred to as the Black Hole (but not when the A's play there). And the last five or six first round draft picks (usually in the top 5 or 6 overall) have been colossal busts.

But none bigger than JaMarcus. And every bit of evidence is that he just isn't trying very hard. He is supposedly the last guy to get to practice and the first guy to leave. And whenever he loses, which is frequently, he usually blames the other offensive players for not getting open or making plays.

In short, he does everything a quarterback isn't supposed to do in the NFL. But he was a first overall draft pick with an Al Davis-style pay inflation. He's too expensive to get rid of, so regardless of how bad he is, he'll be there a couple more seasons.

Oakland's last coach even got fired in large part because he didn't want to draft JaMarcus and didn't think he could work with him. And after benching JaMarcus halfway through last season, current coach Tom Cable is supposedly on the hot seat to lose his job.

The team of Davis/Russel has ruined many a pro football careers. It will be fascinating to see how many more will be ruined before Jamarcus is driven out of Oakland, likely with torches and pitchforks. It is Oakland after all.