The Offseason Sucks - But It Could Suck Harder

Have you guys ever seen that episode of the Twilight Zone that chronicles the activities of the last man on Earth? Actually, I'm pretty sure that happens in many episodes - but I don't remember an episode about Dank-Game.Blogspot.com.

Well I'm proudly carrying on, even though in spite of extremely active NBA free agency, July has been the Month of the 'Stache. And even though NOTHING truly interesting is happening in the NFL, I'm still doing what I can in the hope that there are still other survivors out there. (To be honest though, if the Heat don't acquire one of these NBA superstars I'm pretty sure SlimMcForgetAboutIt is going to shut Dank Game down out of extreme self pity).

Getting to the point finally:

Former Oakland Raiders and current free agent quarterback JaMarcus Russell was arrested for possession of a controlled substance today. Apparently Russell has a mean Codeine addiction, especially if it's in liquid form (could this be the first Dank Game reference to Sizzurp?). Even more sadly, it was apparently widely known in the Frisco Bay area that he was on "lean" (hey, I'm still cool enough to use slang right?).

I once encountered a girl at my high school that was on Codeine following some kind of relatively minor surgery. The other student that was supposed to be watching her temporarily lost track and she ran into me (and almost knocked me over - big girl we're talking about here) in the lunchroom. She then proceeded to have great difficulty remembering my name and laughed maniacally about it. So if Russell really has been on this shit it would really help to explain his quarterbacking over the last three years.

Anyway I suggested that JaMarcus would probably end up in Orange stripes sooner or later. I meant with the Cincinnati Bengals, but with their reputation Russell probably thought a prisoner jump suit was basically the same thing. I am far from the first person to make this basic joke, but I'm pretty sure no one still reads this blog anyway.

Well, at least he isn't the league's top Quarterback rapist. I look forward to watching him back up Carson Palmer (who will probably have a prosthetic leg by then) in 2014.