Tuesday, July 27, 2010

NFL's Biggest Collection of Jackasses?

Well, the Bengals done signed Terrell Owens. Owens doesn't have the best reputation as a teammate, though Mike Brown thought highly enough to make him a last minute addition to the team. And Cincinnati might now have the most jackass-filled roster in pro football, although it should be noted that the presence of Roethlisberger alone puts Pittsburgh way up there. On the bright side, they could very well join other jackass filled teams in Lombardi trophy history (1970's Steelers and Raiders, I'm looking at you).

So I'm taking a look at all the guys on the roster who seem like assholes. This isn't about arrests (Leon Hall is not on the list in spite of a DUI arrest last offseason for example), but I'm factoring some in.

Asshole index:

Adam Jones (CB) - HIGH - He has missed two entire seasons of football in a five year career because of off-the-field incidents - no, catastrophes. I'm honestly surprised he wasn't suspended for life. His most recent team, Dallas, hired around the clock security to keep him out of trouble and he ended up getting in a fight with a bodyguard. If he hadn't said and done all the right things since coming to Cincinnati (after sitting out last year and probably going broke making it rain too many times) I'd make a special category that only he and Ben Roethlisberger could fill.

Terrell Owens (WR) - HIGH - has called out the following teammates in public: Jeff Garcia (49ers), Donovan McNabb (Eagles) and Tony Romo (Cowboys). He has also claimed to have intentionally dropped passes when his team didn't include him enough in the game plan. He did however play nice in Buffalo last season.

Bernard Scott (RB) - MED-HIGH - there was a reason a guy this talented was playing Division II college football with his third or fourth team, and there's a reason he was still available when the Bengals picked him in 6th round last year. He's also rumored to have punched a coach in his college years. I'd have him at HIGH if I didn't firmly believe his checkered past was behind him.

Cedric Benson (RB) - MED - seems to have a mean streak. History of alcohol and assault charges, most recently this offseason in an Austin, TX bar altercation. Many of those charges ended up getting dropped however. Still, he's not an all around great guy.

Matt Jones (WR) - MED-LOW - Got caught with Cocaine, then got caught drinking while on probation. Maybe he's not that big an asshole, but most people on Coke aren't the gentlest of people.

Tank Johnson (DT) - MED-LOW - A couple spots on his criminal record. Was also involved in a bar fight that resulted in the death of his best friend. A judge recently described his actions in the incident as cowardly. Has been on very good behavior since coming to Cincinnati though.

Chad Ochocinco (WR) - MED-LOW - He doesn't get into actual trouble, and he doesn't even drink alcohol. But even though Chad is generally good-spirited, we all know he's kind of an asshole. I mean, what kind of father of four is going on dating shows?

Antonio Bryant (WR) - LOW - really smart guy, but at times in his career has been viewed as a pest. This is why he's not yet 30, but has been on five NFL teams already.

Maurice Purify (WR) - LOW - got into a bar fight in Northern Kentucky this offseason. Just not smart.

Rey Maualuga (LB) - LOW - This isn't about the DUI, which Rey has been extremely cool about since going through rehab. It's more about his crazy personality and that time he faux-grinded on Erin Andrews at a USC game.

*****

So that's twelve guys (at least nine of which will make the 53 man roster) that you might not want to share a word or a drink with. And it's certainly above average for league to have this many strong personalities on one roster.

However, I don't actually think chemistry is a problem at all for this team. The other, arguably more mature players (Carson, Dhani, Whitworth, etc.) seem to relish in or at least tolerate the antics of Ocho, and many of the other players appear to be actively rehabbing their image. Mike Brown has built some really crappy teams out of second/third chance players in the past, but the last couple season he's gotten really lucky.

TO represents the most serious threat to the solid team of last season. But given his friendship with Ochocinco and his advancing age (37), I think his days of public tirades are likely over. If he played in Buffalo last year without losing it, you have to think Cincinnati will settle his nerves. Plus if the team tanks, they can just cut him.

Anyway, I don't neccessarily want Dank Gamers feeling down about the Bengals. Just realize it's not the classiest organization out there.

1 comment:

  1. If Mike Brown was the GM of an NBA team his starting five would look something like this:

    PG: Allen Iverson
    SG: Tracy McGrady
    SF: Stephen Jackson
    PF: Zach Randolph
    C: Shaquille O'Neal

    Nice post, BTW. I'm looking forward to watching all of these assholes on the field.

    ReplyDelete