Thursday, September 23, 2010

A New Dank Game Rivalry Is Upon Us...


And it features Dank Game's top two teams from the "Who We Rep" sidebar. I thought the Thunder/Heat Dank Game rivalry was going to be legendary, but it looks like the Wade/Lebron vs. T. Ocho rivalry could be even better. I find it funny that Chris Bosh is completely left out. Maybe Bosh could be included by getting Carson involved. I'm guessing he could ball, right? Hmmm, on second thought, maybe not so much. Perhaps hoops is more of Jordan Palmer's thing. Y'know, the more I think about it, I'm starting to think Jordan wouldn't be all that great either. I think the Palmer brothers are off the hook on this one. But maybe Marvin Lewis got game?

While I'm at it, here's a clip of T.O. throwing down an oop at Rucker Park followed by some guy appropriately named Miles High dunking on him.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I guess Ochocinco Could Be a WWE Nick Name

Guess who's appearing in an upcoming WWE event? If you guessed Ron Artest, you ain't even close.

That's right, Ochocinco will be making a guest appearance at the WWE's Monday Night Raw at US Bank Arena, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer. Says the WWE's website, "when Raw rolls into his home turf of Cincinnati, Ohio, Ochocinco will be on hand to soak up all the action." Couldn't have said it better myself.

As pro wrestling is by far the craziest "sport" in the country, this is major points for Chad against Ron Artest in the ongoing Dank Game insanity wars. After appearing in the cereal aisle in the grocery store I didn't think Chad could find crazier cohorts. But I hadn't thought of the WWE, home of such lunatics as the cast to the immediate left.

After thinking about pro wrestling for much longer than I ordinarily would, I started to wonder to what Chad would look like if he was a WWE Wrestler. I even planned on doing some Photoshopping for this post. Then I quite randomly stumbled upon this picture of a wrestler known as Big Daddy V. Question answered, Photoshop not required.:

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Another [insert vulgarity] TV Show for Chad

Well Chad Ochocinco has another damn TV show. This is some sort of sports talk show he will co-host with teammate Terrell Owens. It's name?

The T.Ocho Show, of course!

Chad sort of describes it as being like ESPN's Pardon the Interruption, but "a lot more raw." Apparently so raw, the two also need an on-air mediator to keep things together.

According to an interview with Chad on FanHouse.com, the two will spend a half an hour a week discussing current sports topics (and probably totally random other stuff) on Versus. The show begins October 12th, but fans can get a sneak peak on September seventh on "The Daily Line." Oh that was yesterday? Well how about that, it's already on YouTube:



If you include two season of NFL football, in a 15 month span Chad has been on six different TV shows (Hard Knocks, 2009 NFL season, Dancing With the Stars, Ultimate Catch, 2010 NFL season & T.Ocho Show).

Honestly Chad, I love you and all, but there's definitely such a thing as spending too much time together.

In an unrelated story, Ron Artest still can't get his sorry ass TV show on the air.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

PBS

So I know this song's been around since probably June or July, but I feel like not enough people are talking about it. Sure, there's no real dance to go with it, but why isn't it a national phenomenon yet? I only just discovered the music videos. I'm assuming this one came first:



Then I imagine after posting this to YouTube, it was decided the video was not no homo enough, so they shot this one:



Jeezy and Gucci probably did the beat more justice (I mean it's mean), but Soulja Boy Tell 'Em just writes what he knows, which I guess is, what, dances? I don't know. Some good YouTube comments on that first one ("Sounds like the disabled kid in malcolm in the middle").

Monday, September 6, 2010

Doushmandzadeh

After being released by the Seattle Seahawks there was a great deal of speculation about where former Bengals receiver TJ Houshmandzadeh would wind up. A return to Cincinnati was seen as a possibilty, although not particularly likely. There were rumors he'd go to Minnesota, the third team courting him in free agency last offseason. The Browns and Jets were listed as teams possibly targeting the talented malcontent. Last night the Raiders and the Redskins were supposedly the front runners for TJ's services.

But no. Housh signed with the Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati's chief rival for the division crown in 2010. It was bad enough when Baltimore had former Bengals kicker Shayne "Where-da-party-at" Graham on their roster (who they eventually sent packing), but TJ

Housh was a hero in Cincinnati from 2005-2007, a starting wide receiver in what at the time was on the league's premier duos. It just isn't right to have to see him in the uniform of a division rival. Seeing him in a Seahawks jersey was one thing, and I even could have tolerated the Brown's signing him. But when Housh makes his return to Cincinnati with the Ravens week two, get ready for some loud booing.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Bengals, Bearcats and even the Redlegs

Yesterday was a monster day in Cincinnati sports. The Bengals had to whittle down their rosters while keeping an eye on the waiver wire and possible trades. The Bearcats played their first game under new head coach Butch Jones, Former coach Brian Kelly coached his first game with the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, and the Reds were smack in middle of their final series against arch-rival St. Louis Cardinals.

Let's start with the Bengals: our boys in stripes made some surprising roster moves, but started the day with more obvious ones. Thanks to Twitter, this year fans were able to see in close to real time the actual order players were released, which was a good distraction during extremely non-competitive afternoon SEC football games. First to go were WR Matt Jones (18), K Dave Rayner and a rookie whom they clearly hope will be one their practice squad, WR Dezmon Briscoe.

Next on the chopping block was S Kyries Hebert, OT Issac Sowells and S Marvin White. Hebert thus far was the only cut you could call a surprise, though no one could truly have been happy with Cincinnati's depth at safety.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Who Dey Think Gonna Play 4 Dem Bengals?

Tomorrow is cut down day for the entire NFL. By 6:00 pm tomorrow the Bengals have to pare down their 75 player roster into only 53.

This may be the most promising Bengal's season of my lifetime, as the Bengals have actually enjoyed quality play at all starting positions, with the only real roster battles at back up and special team positions. What this tells you is that for once the Bengals are returning a starting roster that is actually talented (minus a few key pieces who've been replaced by reasonably sound free agent pickups, cough cough, TO).

So what Bengals can we look forward to watching on the bench this season and which can we mournfully send packing?

TE Dan Coats (86) vs. FB Joe Tronzo: Fui Vakapuna seems like an extended longshot to make the squad after missing the entire preseason with a shoulder injury. Tronzo, an undrafted rookie, has played well in his place, but Coats has a few years experience and the "versatility" to play tight end and fullback. It's highly unlikely both guys will make the squad, but I'm pulling for Tronzo. He'll almost certainly be on the practice squad if he doesn't make the team.

WR Jerome Simpson vs. WR Dezmon Briscoe: Since Cosby announced via Twitter that he has been informed he has made the squad, presumably only one WR spot remains open. Since nobody really thinks Matt Jones or Maurice Purify are going to make the team, it's down to the rookie Briscoe or the as of yet unproven Simpson. Since Simpson has finally started playing special teams, he'll probably make the team. Briscoe absolutely will make the practice squad if another team does not claim him however.

DL Pat Sims vs. DL Frostee Rucker (92): Rucker has more versatility on the defensive line, but Sims has been more consistant, starting a few games in place of Tank Johnson. Rucker has also spent much of his Bengal's career injured. Most would assume Sims makes the team over Rucker, but the "Snowman" has always seemed to be a Marvin Lewis favorite. Either could make it as a backup with another team, and one of them will probably get the chance.

S Kyries Hebert vs. S Rico Murray: This one's kind of a no win. Hebert is a great special teams player, but clearly not a great option at safety. Murray isn't spinning anyone's head himself. Safety is possibly the weakest position on the roster, so hopefully both guys are cut in favor of a better free agent cut from another team. Otherwise, I would think Hebert has the slight edge.

QB Jordan Palmer vs. QB Carson Palmer: There's only room for one Palmer brother on this team. Can Jordan oust Carson? Just wondered if anyone was still reading this.

Oh, it's kind of sad. I'm probably talking about some of these players for the last time.

Cuban Missile


As we all know right now is one of the most boring times of the year in sports. Basketball has been long gone, world cup is over, and NFL preseason is pretty much bullshit but it is good just to see the pigskin on the teevee. Which leaves baseball. Now I'm not as much as a baseball hater as some of the other dank gamers, and this year has been pretty exciting for the queen city. (well as exciting as baseball can get. )
So the reds are currently 8 fucking games ahead in first going into our series with the cardinals, the number 2 spot. But what's worth writing about is Aroldis Chapman, the Cuban Missile. This 22 year old cuban defector came into Tuesdays nights game to pitch a perfect inning. I've been waiting all year for this kid to be called up from the minor leagues and I was actually at that game but happened to leave right before he came out. The weekend before he played in the minors he was clocked at a 105 mph fastball. In the game he hit 103. This kid is insane with a 87 mph slider. With 28 games to go until the World Series begins the Cuban Missile might be the one to give this city a much needed trophy.