It has been reported from several super trust worthy news sources that the Lady Lakers of, uh, Michigan will replace the NBA players who will sit out this Sunday night for the NBA All-Star Game in Dallas at 7 PM EST on TNT. Commissioner David Stern attempted to find NBA players to replace the All-Stars who will miss Sunday's game, but apparently every player he contacted had already planned a vacation and/or told him to "get the fuck out [they] face with that All-Star Weekend bullshit." Stern had hoped to have the following players to replace these All-Stars:
Denver's Chauncey Billups for New Orleans' Chris Paul (injured knee)
The Clippers' Chris Kaman for Portland's Brandon Roy (injured hamstring)
New York's David Lee for Philadelphia's Allen Iverson (attending to sick daughter)
Dallas Maverick/New Beginnings Retirement Home resident Jason Kidd for the Lakers' Kobe Bryant (injured ankle, broken finger, back spasms, obsessive work ethic, delusions of grandeur, unhealthy Michael Jordan fetish, etc.)
The Lady Lakers seem poised to take the court at Cowboys Stadium in front of the largest crowd assembled in basketball history with more than 90,000 expected. When reporters asked if they were ready to perform against the NBA's elite in front of a record breaking crowd, they responded in unison with a resounding "Duh!"
Dwyane Wade has talked of having to do less this season after putting up otherworldly numbers last season to carry the Heat to 43-39. Tonight, Wade got what he asked for. The Heat shot an astonishing 56% from the floor and 7-15 from deep.
Wade had a relatively "off" game, going 10-22 for 26 points. Despite looking a bit tentative early, Michael Beasley had an inspired effort with 21 points. His offensive repertoire included his typical perimeter jumpers, but he also attacked the rim, still with more finesse than power, though. Jermaine O'Neal looked alive going 10-12 for 22 points and pulling in 12 rebounds. He and Wade played well off of one another, with both picking up assists and easy baskets. It should be noted that 6'9" David Lee was playing center, which makes J.O.'s numbers a bit less impressive. Lee also put up 22 points on several easy putbacks. Chalmers and Dayton's own Daequan Cook also played well with 11 and 15 points respectively. Haslem played his typical reliable game. It was a great shooting night for the Heat, but they'll have to come together more as a team when the shots stop falling and they start playing legit teams. With that said, it was good to see them come out and take New York out with ease.
The Knicks were pretty awful throughout most of the game. Mike D'Antoni looked ready to throw a tantrum, especially after Miami pulled out a big lead. David Lee came just short of a double-double and Danilo Gallinari was three-point happy, hitting 7-13 from deep on 14 shots, but not much else was going for them. Nate Robinson was especially terrible, going 0-8 from the floor, five of those misses from deep.
Here's one of the better plays from the game. After a nice move by Beasley, Wade turned around out of nowhere for the steal off the inbound pass and a crazy 360 layup. Unfortunately, the camera crew cut to Beasley as Wade took it to the hoop.
It has been reported from several super trust worthy news sources that the Lady Lakers of, uh, Michigan will replace the NBA players who will sit out this Sunday night for the NBA All-Star Game in Dallas at 7 PM EST on TNT. Commissioner David Stern attempted to find NBA players to replace the All-Stars who will miss Sunday's game, but apparently every player he contacted had already planned a vacation and/or told him to "get the fuck out [they] face with that All-Star Weekend bullshit." Stern had hoped to have the following players to replace these All-Stars:
