AFC North Preview

Fear not Ohio sports fans - they're are still two good Pro teams in Ohio. They just both happen to be in Cincinnati (yes, I'm counting a baseball team and yes it does feel a little dirty).

The AFC North is almost always a three team race, but this year I think the Steelers probably have too much to overcome to make a serious push at the division. No doubt the Ravens are a good team, but the Bengals topped them last year with a surpringly superior defense. Meanwhile, many facets of the Ravens are just getting old (Ray Lewis, Ed Reed), while the strengths of the Bengals' defense are young. While both teams attempted to improve their weak spots in the draft and free agency, I think the Bengals Defensive Line, wide receivers and tight ends improved much more than Baltimore's secondary, wide receivers and tight ends.

Division Winner: Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals are essentially returning the Division winning team from last season minus the broken parts (LS Brad St. Louis, WR L. Coles, and they drafted a TE who will definitely replace Dan Coats). They picked up two wide receivers who will probably each be more productive than Coles in veteran Antonio Bryant and rookie Jordan Shipley, the Texas Longhorn's record holder for most catches. Plus last year's number four ranked defense returned EVERYBODY. With mostly solid draft picks and improved health thus far I see the Bengals taking 11 wins despite a brutal schedule. Ten might be enough for the division again this year however, as every team is looking at an uphill climb schedule-wise.

Division Runner-Up: Baltimore Ravens

This team received a lot of praise for the draft and free agent acquisitions. I can't say I don't agree with the speculation, but most of those writing off the Bengals can only point to an historic inability to repeat success. Oh, I'm supposed to be talking about the Ravens. They'll be good, but I think their defense will decline a little this year and I sincerely doubt their offense will take the step so many seem to expect. Flacco is still quite young, Boldin is a great wide receiver and a good addition, but they don't have a true number one like Cincy has in Chad Ochocinco, and TE Todd Heap is getting pretty old. Oh, and they have as bad a pair of starting cornerbacks as you're likely to come across in the NFL. Good team - good enough for nine, maybe ten wins against this schedule. It will depend on the rest of the Conference to see if that's good enough for another wild card berth.

Division Third Place: Pittsburgh Steelers

The Iron City has had as rough an offseason as you can imagine. Rapistbergergate led to a suspension of their starting quarterback and they lost a key member of their already porous offensive line for the year when RT Willie Colon tore his Achilles. They brought back Byron Leftwich to fill in at QB, but he'll probably get sacked about 20 times (30 if Ben's suspension does last the full six games instead of the optional four). In the meantime, Pittsburgh has done very little to upgrade their team. They had some decent draft picks, but it seems like their team is regressing while Cincinnati and Baltimore are rising. Given the Steelers seem to post respectable records even when bad, I'll give them seven wins, but the Browns may be closer than they're willing to admit.

Division Basement: Cleveland Browns

Fucking Cleveland. There's not much to say about Cleveland's chances this year. They're not good. They scrapped together five wins by grace of God last year, mostly at the end of the season against other teams already out of postseason contention. Every time this team takes one step forward it takes two steps backward. The phrase "rebuilding project" has hovered around ever since they returned as an expansion in the '90s. I'd like to think they're moving in the right direction this time, but the jury is very much still out on rookie QB Colt McCoy and second year RB Jerome Harrison. It'll be another long year in Cleveland, and against this schedule four wins could be expected but no more.

Just How Corrupt Are Pennsylvania's Police?

Even before the incidents in Las Vegas, Nevada and Milledgeville, Georgia, it was known that Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger employed state troopers and city police as his personal entourage. This isn't on the surface a particularly odd phenomena. Police frequently moonlight as bouncers and body guards in all fifty states. But post-Rapistbergergate, Pennsylvania police are beginning to look as crooked as neighboring New Jersey.

Naturally the public scrutiny truly began after criminal rape charges were filed against Roethlisberger for having sex with a college student in this bathroom (seriously, this is via WPXI in Pittsburgh). Although the charges were dropped, enough evidence got out to make everyone involved look very bad. And once Georgia Police released the interviews, things went from bad to worse.

For starters, Ben was fittingly wearing a shirt with an image of Lucifer on the front, as seen in this picture from the night in question (via The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette with the accuser digitally blurred). And from WPXI, these disturbing quotes:

• After taking a round of shots purchased by Roethlisberger, the accuser said one of Roethlisberger's body guards led her down a hallway.
• Accuser: "It was kind of like they [Roethlisberger and his entourage] had planned it. Because the entire night we were asking him 'Why are you here?' And he said, 'Oh, just trying to change it up.' And we were like OK, that's weird. You're in a college town and you're 28 years old. It's weird."
• Accuser: "He had me sit at this stool and like 30 seconds later Ben comes back there, his penis was already out of his pants. And I was like, 'No, this is not right, I don't agree with this.'"

In addition to the allegations of the accuser that Roethlisberger and his entourage planned the alleged incident, several girls accompanying her that night tell stories that further implicate the involvement of the bodyguards. According to the Post-Gazette, three girls in addition to the accuser said they saw one of the bodyguards lead the accuser to the bathroom after buying the girls drinks all night. And two say that the bodyguards would not allow them to follow their friend into the bathroom. It's pretty clear that the members of Ben's entourage knew exactly what was going on, forcefully preventing others from stopping the crime, and thus becoming accessories to rape.

A Face Only Pittsburgh Could Love

I'm not going to bother getting into the specifics, but for the second offseason in a row, Ben Roethlisberger has made rape charges more or less go away. Maybe he didn't do it, maybe it was consensual, whatever. I do want to type Rapistberger once, but if I am to respect the letter of the law I must point out that Big Ben was never proven guilty.

However, look at this fucking picture. Jesus Christ, the only fatter starting quarterback in this league has got be JaMarcus Russell, and I'm thinking Ben could give him a run for his money. Then there's his hair. Did he comb it with a fork and crisco on his way out of the Waffle House?

This is the press conference where he apologized to Pittsburgh fans! He could shave? He couldn't iron his shirt? At least he's wearing a belt, although it is a bit sad he needed cue cards for his apology.

Good God man, pull it together. Maybe that motorcycle accident from a few year ago knocked the brain out of his head.

Roethlisberger Strikes Again?

According to TMZ, Ben Roethlisberger has been acused of sexual assault by a woman in Georgia. It has been reported that the alleged incident happened in the bathroom of a club called Capital City in Milledgeville, Georgia. Formal charges have not been placed at this point.

This is the second time that Roethlisberger has been acused of sexual assault. He is already being sued by a woman named Andrea McNulty, who claims that he raped her in 2008 in a hotel at Lake Tahoe. Roethlisberger has denied the allegations and asked for counter-damages.

As much as I dislike Roethlisberger, I will refrain from calling him Rapelisberger. But if he's proven guilty, I will use that nickname as often as possible.