Monday, October 5, 2009

Advantage Artest

Alright, Mustache... so you think Ocho Cinco is crazier than Ron Artest, huh? Well if you ask me, Ocho has clearly gone down a couple of notches in Dank Game's Artest vs. Ocho Cinco Insanity Competition for breaking his promise of going all out for the NFL's hot pink breast cancer awareness promotion. I didn't see him sporting a pink chin strap or anything else unique from what other NFL players were wearing on Sunday. Is he afraid of a little fine all of a sudden? I thought he had money set aside for these things, 'stache? If Ocho ever did pull in the lead of Artest as Mustache claims, Ron Ron has upped the ante to reclaim his title of craziest professional athlete alive.

Artest recently did an interview for an article by Arash Markazi of Sports Illustrated and for no reason besides having fun, Artest hired 23-year old Turkish model Natalin Avci to do a sexy photo shoot with him after having met her in a hotel lobby. The photos apparently weren't supposed to run anywhere and were strictly for Ron's pleasure, but of course they've made their way to the internet.

Here are a couple of other excerpts from the article that help support my case that Artest is crazier than Ocho:

"Just weeks before the season he was on TV raising money for the Hasidic Jewish movement Chabad-Lubavitch, volunteering at an Iranian basketball camp, walking dogs at an animal shelter and taking some of his Twitter followers to a WNBA game, breakfast and bowling."

"'I signed for five years but I want to box, I want to fight a heavyweight fight in four years,' Artest said on more than one occasion. 'I started training already and I'm doing good and I think in four years I'll be ready to fight my first professional fight. I want to get four professional fights under my belt and see how I do and take it from there. That's been my goal for a long time. Whether I get knocked out or knock somebody out, I just want to fight.'"

Ok, I'll admit that some of that stuff isn't very crazy, but I am confident that Artest raising money for an Hasidic Jewish movement, claiming he wants to fight a heavyweight fight in four years despite being signed to a five-year contract, and paying for a photo shoot with a Turkish model simply for the fun of it clearly puts him ahead of Ocho Cinco once again... if he was ever behind in the first place. The ball is in your court, Mustache.

Never felt so bad about 1st place

The good news first:

The Bengals are tied for first atop the AFC-North. They have the same record as the Ravens! They even have the same record as the Patriots - yeah, the fuckin' Patriots!

But after damn near 15 minutes of overtime against the Browns, I cannot feel confident about this team.

Why not?

1. Brad St. Louis. He has cost the Bengals at least 8 points this season by my count. It's pretty pathetic watching a snap for a field goal or extra point fly over the head of the holder and behind the kicker. And although place holder Kevin Huber managed to pull down both bad snaps from this game, they still led to delayed, and thus blocked kicks. Fortunately Shayne Graham reminded him where-da-party's-at and the Bengals won in OT. Still, how does such a long term veteran screw up long-snapping (which, by the way, is his only job)?

2. Marvin Lewis. OK, Lewis brings a lot more good than bad to Cincinnati. But I don't know who else to blame. For years now he seems to get the team to play to the competition instead of putting out a consistent effort each week. A team like the Colts will barely beat a good team and train wreck a bad team. The Bengals make games against inferior teams way too close, while playing better than expected against big teams. Last year they took the Giants to overtime, seriously threatened the Cowboys, and beat the Redskins while playing like hell against very mediocre teams. They're basically doing the same thing this year, but they're winning the close games instead of losing them.

3. The 2nd quarter - Before this week I would have said the entire first half, but the Bengals finally turned on the offense before halftime. But through 4 weeks this season they are yet to do much of anything offensively in the second quarter. And outside of the Green Bay game, they haven't done much in the third quarter either. I don't mind having the team play darlings of the 4th quarter, but I'd prefer the offense play well for the entire game.

4. Chad Ochocinco. He played well and all, but his touchdown celebrations just aren't what they used to be.

Give me some time to let the 3-1 record sink in, instead of the bitter taste of a piss-poor game, and I'll probably have some positive things to say about the tigers. Two defensive scores in two weeks already come to mind.

'stache out

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I TOLD YOU!!!

Remember my inside scoop guys? When I worked in the Bengal's locker room and unloaded ALL KINDS of insider information on this very blog?


In case you thought I was bullshitting you, go back and take a refresher course. Note how I said 1st round pick Andre Smith looks like he's in terrible shape and that the report that he might be back in a couple weeks is clearly wrong.

Well, now read this article.

As you can see, I was dead on in my assessment. Never doubt me, Dank-Gamers - I am your God.



Just to rag on the Bengals a little bit for being so stupid: Why are they wasting a roster spot on Smith when they could have put him on the P.U.P. list? (I'm pretty sure they didn't do this, but I don't feel like looking it up, so I'll just assume I'm right - I usually am). If they'd done that, he wouldn't have been eligible for the first 6 weeks of the season, but clearly we won't be playing by then anyway. Why cut a guy like DeDe Dorsey to make room for a player who can't play?

Ocho Pinko?

(Dank-Game community: Please note that I am not suggesting that Chad Ochocinco is, or ever was a communist)

Well, it's almost October, so it's Breast Cancer Awareness month in the NFL . . . Wait, what? Not that I have anything against funding breast cancer research or anything, but given the fact that football is a sport that only men play (with extremely rare exception), I'm a little confused as to how this developed. Probably has something to do with the fact that Favre's wife is a breast cancer survivor.

Anyway, around the league, various parts of the NFL wardrobe will be pink next week to show awareness for the breast cancer cause (seriously, who came up this?) I was not excited about this for any reason until Ochocinco tweeted last night that he plans to take this wearing pink thing way too far.

Although the pink wardrobe will only officially be around next week, the Ocho says he plans to wear pink the entire month of October. And not just the very limited elements we'll be seeing elsewhere. He also tweeted that he'll be "wearing all pink gloves, shoes, and wrist bands" and later added a chin strap and mouthpiece to the list.

Lastly he added that he'll match any fines the NFL gives him with a donation. Guess he was serious about setting aside $100,000 for fines this season!

Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk pointed out that this actually puts the league in a precarious position. Ordinarily, the league can easily fine Ochocinco as he is in clear violation of the wardrobe requirements. This time however, he is doing it in support of a cause that the NFL is supporting with mandatory participation of all players. So if they fine him, it sends a mixed message.

Pretty smart Chad.

In an unrelated note, on the preshow to Monday Night Football, Chad publicly asked Obama to borrow Air Force One on Mondays so he can easily travel to every MNF game. Wow!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Nike Air Griffey Max 1 Anthracite/Black/Hot Red/White


Ok, some more old news in the sneaker world. This latest Hot Red colorway of the Nike Air Griffey Max 1 is pretty hot. These shoes have been coming back pretty hard as of late. It wasn't a big surprise as I consider them one of Nike's best efforts from the 90s, which obviously says a lot. I've really been feeling these new colors, to the point that I might even favor them over the original Freshwaters and the Royal Blue joints. I just came across a pair of these "reasonably" priced on eBay and I'm having trouble getting them out of my mind now. Tune in next week to Confessions of a Shoe Addict when I debate buying the Air Penny II Triple Blacks for the sixth time.

D-Wade & Jordan Brand

















It's pretty old news that Dwyane Wade has made the jump from Converse to Jordan Brand. I was initially uninspired to write about it because he was building up the impending news via Twitter right around the time Odom was feigning an interest in signing with Miami (I know, I just can't get over it). When the news finally broke, I was pretty disappointed it didn't involve free agency, but I was intrigued by the possibilities of Wade being endorsed by Jordan brand. Now, thanks to a post from Nice Kicks, I'm suddenly looking forward to seeing what D-Wade will be sporting on the hardwood next season. I mean, it will obviously be better than this or this. Sorry Converse, but no amount of React Juice can make those shoes any better.












NiceKicks.com: "There is no doubt that both of these sneakers coincide with the Miami Heat jerseys; however, both of them may be a little too loud for the NBA’s preference. For example, the black Air Jordan 5 seems like a no-brainer, yet when the bright arena lights hit the 3M upper it will seem like Wade is sporting an all-silver sneaker. As for the red pair, it may be a little to eye-catching and head-turning for David Stern. If you recall, Stern fined MJ for wearing the Air Jordan 1 because of its vibrant color."

That's some old bullshit right there, Stern.

NBA Training Camp Story Lines & More

It's been a minute since I've written anything about the NBA, and now that media day is past and training camp has started, there's suddenly more interesting things to talk about than Lamar Odom's hasty marriage to reality TV's Khloe Kardashian. Speaking of which, I've been speculating their marriage was the deal breaker for Odom's potential Miami reunion. I probably should've written something about Delonte West being arrested for carrying two hand guns and a shotgun after being pulled over on a three-wheeled motorcycle, because, y' know, that was pretty fucked up. Also, I guess the richest man in Russia is going to buy the Nets, which will probably lead to their highly anticipated move to Brooklyn.

Not in a Golden State:
Some of the biggest news to come out of media day is the bleak situation the Warriors have found themselves in. After being fined $25,000 for publicly requesting a trade, Stephen Jackson doesn't seem phased as he continued to express his desire to be dealt. Obviously the league is employing a ridiculous double standard with this fine, as Kobe bitched and moaned all throughout the offseason in 2007 without any consequence. As for Captain Jack's desired destinations, he'd like to end up with Cleveland, anywhere in Texas, or New York to reunite with former Warrior Al Harrington.

As if the drama with Jackson isn't enough, Monta Ellis has said that he and rookie Stephen Curry can't work together as a backcourt as Warriors management had envisioned. Ellis says he has no hard feelings towards the Warriors for drafting Curry, but because they're both small guards, he doesn't feel they can produce wins playing together. Man, what a disappointment this team has been since that glorious upset against the Mavs in the first round of the 2007 Playoffs. I wish I could say that I still believe, but what's left to believe in.

KG Questionable: While I don't normally take pleasure in people being injured, I couldn't help but do a fist pump upon reading the news that Kevin Garnett's bone spur in his knee is more serious than he initially realized. After missing much of the end of last season and the entire playoffs, the Celtics have been pretty quiet about his injury. Garnett has had minimal health issues throughout his 14-year career, so he insists that the injury has forced him to take his health more seriously. Details remain vague.

Cut like a Prizefighter: Along with media day and training camp comes the inevitable rhetoric from coaches and players alike about how the players are in such great shape. Starting with my team, the Miami Heat, coach Erik Spoelstra has been gushing about Jermaine O'Neal's improved health after an offseason of working out in Chicago with noted trainer Tim Grover. Grover has received much attention after helping Dwyane Wade return to form last season. Spoelstra has said that Jermaine looks like he did during his All-Star days in Indiana, but even stronger. JO reportedly has looked much better moving around and can apparently jump again, which would probably be beneficial to to the Heat this season.

Elton Brand will return to the Sixers after recovering from a shoulder injury that kept him out the majority of last season. He's also recovered from the previous season's torn Achilles tendon. According to teammate Thaddeus Young, Brand has been a "monster" on the court, while GM Ed Stefanski says that he is "cut like a prizefighter." We'll have to wait and see if this can translate to wins for the Sixers, as last year Brand's presence seemed to throw off their fast paced offense.

Rajon Rondo has added 11 pounds to his frame which he insists is "all muscle." Judging from this photo from the Celtics' media day, Rondo really does look substantially more muscular. Dude used to be pretty bony. On the topic of Rondo, Celtics GM Danny Ainge has said that he started talks last week with agent Bill Duffy on a contract extension, as he is entering the final year of his rookie deal.

Beasley Ready to Go: I feel the need to follow up on my my previous post about Michael Beasley's now infamous tattoo picture in which two baggies in the background appeared to contain weed. Beasley claims that the bags weren't his as the photo was taken at the place he got the tattoo. He insists he isn't addicted to drugs, and the reason he was checked into a Houston rehabilitation center in the first place was due to his involvement in the incident at the rookie symposium last year when Heat point guard Mario Chalmers, the Grizzlies' Darrell Arthur, and Beasley were caught in a room that smelled of marijuana. I'm guessing there must have been other missteps along the way considering Chalmers wasn't sent to rehab with him.

Beasley apologized to the Heat organization and its fans for his immaturity and insists that his time spent at the rehabilitation center has helped him out. As for those supposed "suicidal Tweets," (I can't believe I'm typing that) Beasley has said that he posted those after hearing his time at the rehabilitation center had been extended. Although I wouldn't go posting some shit like that on the internet, I'd also be pretty pissed if I found out I had to stay in rehab longer. Beasley says he is now through with social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace.

Last But Not Least: Ron Artest is still totally sweet and a really nice guy, too.