Going Favre Beyond the Call of Duty

I complained several months ago that Brett Favre needed to add some new wrinkles to his offseason playbook. In that post, I posited that "Favre-watch" is one of the most interesting things to happen in the otherwise dull and football-less offseason. So far this offseason had been a bust for one of football's greatest entertainers, and needless to say we here at Dank Game were dissapointed. Well maybe Brett reads Dank Game, because in the last couple of weeks he came through in a big way!

The difficulty with this offseason was that Brett was still under contract with the Minnesota Vikings, the only team he was at all likely to play for in 2010. Unlike in 2008, when the Packers made it clear they were hoping he stayed retired, or in 2009 when the Jets drafted a first round rookie quarterback and a new head coach, Favre couldn't cook up interest based on where he'd play. And the sole notion of if he'll play is an old storyline now. He's been reliving it for about six straight years.

But if you thought Favre was done keeping us guessing, you were dead wrong.

NFC North Preview

Six down, two to go! Welcome to Dank Game's NFC North preview. This is one of the most unbalanced divisions in the NFL. The Packers and Vikings are coming off 10+ win seasons and playoff appearances, while the Lions and Bears didn't win 10 games combined last season. While Detroit is slowly digging itself out of the only 0-16 season in NFL history, the Bears are showing a lot of desperation to win now without a lot of real potential to do so. Assuming Favre is still coming back, this division will remain a two way race in 2010.

Division Winner: Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings are almost certainly an aging team, but the roster is impressive nonetheless. They still have one of the best defenses in the NFC, especially the front seven, and the team's promising young players are the offense's biggest playmakers. Adrian Peterson, despite being outshown by Chris Johnson of Tennessee last season, is still one of the best two or three running backs in the league. Sydney Rice and Percy Harvin are two of the best young receivers in the NFL. Brett Favre is still Brett fucking Favre, and I don't believe his ankle is the issue he's making it out to be (more on that in a future post). Bottom line, this is practically the same team that made it to the NFC Championship game last year. It took them 5 turnovers to lose in a game that somehow remained close. If Favre is back, they very well could be Superbowl bound. I wouldn't expect any less than eleven wins, and I'm predicting twelve.

Division Runner-Up: Green Bay Packers

The Packers are a much better team than I realized last offseason. The team really did have their quarterback of the future in Aaron Rodgers and trading Favre no longer seems like a completely insane decision. Sure it must have hurt Packer fans to watch the Favre-led Vikings sweep them last season, but it's not as if the Packers are total slouches. On the contrary, they'll be the team to beat in the North once Favre and the "Williams Wall" of Minnesota retire. The Packers have few weaknesses, so assuming Rodgers keeps playing at a high level, they should be making a return trip to the playoffs. I'll give them eleven wins.

Division Third Place: Detroit Lions

Hey, I've got to mix something up in this division! After improving from 0-16 to 2-14 last season, I think the Lions are ready to take the next step. They're probably still a couple years or more away from the playoffs, but to even sniff a .500 record would probably make the Detroit faithful happy for now. At any rate, rookie quarterback Matt Stafford was injured some of last season, and played for a team with very little talent. With more competent people now running the organization, they should steadily improve to at least a middle-of-the-pack team. Assuming this year's rookies continue to improve the squad, they'll make a jump to six or seven wins.

Division Basement: Chicago Bears

I might regret this one, but Chicago is not particularly impressive this season. I thought the Cutler addition at quarterback last season would improve the squad, but the problems in Chicago run much deeper than who's playing quarterback. They're ex-QB proved he could actually play in Denver, and they're ex-running back proved he could play in Cincinnati. This tells me coaching is the problem. Head coach Lovie Smith has avoided losing his job for two straight years, but he'll have no excuses this year. In the end, I don't think pressure on the head coach will be enough to make this team any better. They're once formidable defense is now flat, and they didn't have any first or second round draft picks to bring in young talent. The Bears are a sinking ship, and they'll probably win five games.

Favre Needs New Wrinkles For Offseason Playbook

I'll be the first to admit it. I like what Brett Favre has added to the last few years' NFL offseason. Let's face it, nothing else is going on (except - yawn - baseball).

The last three years it seemed all anyone in the media could talk about was whether or not Favre would come back for another year. But although Brett has not yet committed to playing football in 2010, no one seems to care. Well Teenage_Mustache cares. Favre just needs some new ideas to keep offseason interest piqued.

The problem is the now-familiar pattern. We hear almost nothing from Favre after the season, save maybe a quick half-hearted retirement. Then rumblings emerge that he has started leaning toward playing again, often creating problems for the team currently carrying his contract. Then once training camp is largely over, Favre reports to play for whomever he signs on with. This pattern is so widely assumed now, and he played so well with the Vikings last year, that the media and fans simply expect this to happen.

Despite this, Favre has done nothing to build anticipation for either playing or potentially hanging up his cleats for the 2010 season. Maybe he's too busy with his new grandchild - that's right, Brett Favre is a 40-year-old grandfather. Or maybe he's too busy playing pick-up football games with those Wrangler-wearing good-old-boys. Or maybe he really is just sitting around on a tractor in Mississippi.

Whatever is occupying Favre's time though, he needs to start thinking about occupying other people's time. Brett needs to make other people keep guessing what his next move is. Perhaps he should take up minor league baseball or dogfighting or fighting fans at NBA games. After all, those activities certainly drummed up media flurries for other star athletes. I simply don't have the answer, as I am not the entertainer that No. 4 is.

Well, whatever Favre is doing, he'd better start making noise after the draft. Because that's when the offseason gets really boring.

Slim's Week 6 NFL Observations

Once again, I'm filling in for Teenage Mustache with NFL coverage while he's out havin' fun in the warm California sun.

First up, a bit of good news for us Cincinnatians. While Antwan Odom is out for the season and will udergo surgery for his ruptured Achille's tendon, Domata Peko's knee injury is not serious. His availability for next week's home game against the Bears (which I'll be attending BTW) will be assessed later this week. Also, rookie tackle Andre Smith will return to practice after being sidelined all season from a broken foot suffered in practice.

There were some brutal blowouts on Sunday, most notably the Patriots who destroyed the lowly Titans 59-0 in the midst of New England flurries. The Pats set franchise records for points and yards with 619. Tom Brady also had the most touchdown passes in a quarter by any player since 1950, with five in the second quarter. The Titans are the worst defensive team in the league, and obviously they lived up to their reputation.

The Saints continued to impress, remaining undefeated at 5-0 as they beat the Giants 48-27. It should be noted that the Giants came into the game with the #1 defense in the league. Not sure if they still do after this one, though. After having two straight weeks without a touchdown pass, Drew Brees got back on track with 4 touchdown passes and 369 yards. I have to assume at this point the MVP picture has been narrowed down between Brees and Peyton Manning.

Brett Favre and the Vikings also remain undefeated at 6-0, after narrowly escaping a loss to the Ravens after a last second field goal miss that would have given Baltimore a one point victory had it been good. This gives Minnesota a comfortable lead in the NFC North, with the Packers in second at 3-2.

The Broncos and Colts are the only other remaining undefeated teams, as those old school brown and yellow unis that everyone seems to hate continue to keep Denver going strong. The Broncos knocked off division rivals San Diego to maintain their surprising run. I watched most of the first half and what stood out most was Denver's Eddie Royal, who returned a kickoff for a 93-yard touchdown in the first quarter as well as a punt for a 71-yard touchdown. Phillip Rivers and the Chargers offense were looking good in the first half, but those missteps on special teams ended up costing them the game.

What do you gotta say about the Broncos now, 'stache? I thought they were going to be the worst team in the NFL. I'm sure you'll be able to call me out on my NBA season predictions, so I should probably keep quiet.

Ocho Pinko?

(Dank-Game community: Please note that I am not suggesting that Chad Ochocinco is, or ever was a communist)

Well, it's almost October, so it's Breast Cancer Awareness month in the NFL . . . Wait, what? Not that I have anything against funding breast cancer research or anything, but given the fact that football is a sport that only men play (with extremely rare exception), I'm a little confused as to how this developed. Probably has something to do with the fact that Favre's wife is a breast cancer survivor.

Anyway, around the league, various parts of the NFL wardrobe will be pink next week to show awareness for the breast cancer cause (seriously, who came up this?) I was not excited about this for any reason until Ochocinco tweeted last night that he plans to take this wearing pink thing way too far.

Although the pink wardrobe will only officially be around next week, the Ocho says he plans to wear pink the entire month of October. And not just the very limited elements we'll be seeing elsewhere. He also tweeted that he'll be "wearing all pink gloves, shoes, and wrist bands" and later added a chin strap and mouthpiece to the list.

Lastly he added that he'll match any fines the NFL gives him with a donation. Guess he was serious about setting aside $100,000 for fines this season!

Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk pointed out that this actually puts the league in a precarious position. Ordinarily, the league can easily fine Ochocinco as he is in clear violation of the wardrobe requirements. This time however, he is doing it in support of a cause that the NFL is supporting with mandatory participation of all players. So if they fine him, it sends a mixed message.

Pretty smart Chad.

In an unrelated note, on the preshow to Monday Night Football, Chad publicly asked Obama to borrow Air Force One on Mondays so he can easily travel to every MNF game. Wow!

Week One NFL Observations

It's amazing how set in stone a team's fate seems after week one. Every team that won is playoff bound, and every team that loses is doomed to spend the season drifting further and further away from a playoff berth.

However, this instant optimism and pessimism are misleading. For example, the Chargers started each of the last two years with multiple game losing streaks and yet still made the playoffs. Meanwhile Dallas and Buffalo got out to fast starts last year, but neither ended up playing in January.

So rather than re-evaluate my playoff predictions every freaking week, I'm simply going to speak about trends and observations I see after each weekend of NFL football.

1. The Eagles might be as good as advertised. They destroyed the Panthers at home, a team that did not lose a regular season home game last year. If they have a weak spot, it's that McNabb suffered a broken rib in the shellacking. Vick is still suspended until week three, and Kevin Kolb isn't very good so the Eagles today signed free agent Jeff Garcia. The last time Garcia played for the Eagles he led them to a late season playoff berth, so with Vick in the mix too and McNabb not officially out even for next week, I imagine they'll overcome the setback.

2. The Broncos suck, but the Bengals suck more. At least for now. Clearly a defense that can hold a supposedly offensive minded team to 6 points (plus another total fluke touchdown in the last minute) should win the game. If the Bengals offense can find a rhythm and start scoring some points they could actually turn it around. Meanwhile, if Denver beats Cleveland at home next week (which they easily could), do not expect much more. I still believe this is a clunker team, coming off a win that may also be a clunker team, about to play a team that is definitely a clunker team.

3. Dallas faithful shouldn't start looking toward January yet. They beat Tampa Bay, almost certainly a league bottom-dweller this year. They play the Giants next week, which will be a much, much better test.

4. The bay area can suddenly play football again. San Francisco beating Arizona, in consideration with their strong finish last season after Mike Singletary took over, is strong evidence of a team rounding the corner. Too early to say if they'll compete for a division title, but don't be surprised. Oakland, although losing to San Diego, at least looked good for the first time in recent memory. JaMarcus Russell looked sharper than last season, one of the rookie receivers played decently enough, and the running game was quite formidable. They will likely steal some games from elite teams.

5. Adrian Peterson is amazing. Favre wasn't great, but he didn't make any major mistakes and the Vikings did win the game.

6. Either the Saints are really good this year (especially their offense), or the Lions are still terrible. Likely a combination of the two. I still think the Lions will win at least one game this season, but why not extend the streak for a little while first?

Until next week, or until Ochocinco does something crazy.

So Farve From Over

Alternative headline:

"So Favre away / Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore"




Alright, well I think I have to mention the Brett Favre un-retirement at least once on this blog. After all, for the second straight year, Favre's will-he-or-won't-he play-this-season antics have dominated the offseason.

And for good reason. In football nothing happens for like 6 months, aside from the draft. And for all the hoopla that goes into mock drafts and rookie workouts, it's really pretty insanely boring.

So while some desperately bored football junkies try to get their fix from the draft, Canadian football, and sometimes even baseball, let's be glad their is a man who can entertain for months at a time just by avoiding answering a yes or no question.

I'd argue that Brett Favre is not the good-natured southern-boy, tractor-drivin, Wrangler-wearing, indecisive honky that we're led to believe. In actuality, Brett Favre is the greatest showman in professional sports (sorry Ochocinco). Why? Because he has been able to lead Michael-Jordan-level unretirement excitement twice now (which realistically is more than Jordan, as his second comeback lacked the fanfare of the first). And I'll bet he's got another one in him.

Go ahead, roll your eyes. Comment (politely) that you're actually really sick of hearing about Favre and that you wish he'd just go away. I think you're either a liar or Packers fan, and I'll address each of you separately.

Those of you that are sick of him probably don't think he's all that good anymore. And compared to his MVP heyday, you're probably right. But he's still solid enough that more than one team would like to have him, and he's only a year and a half removed from the NFC championship game. Obviously he didn't repeat this success with the Jets, but there was more than Brett Favre wrong with that team.

And anyway, even if he does stink this year, won't it be fascinating to watch the meltdown (unless you're a Vikings fan)? I mean, what's coach Brad Childress going to do? Bench the most noteworthy player of the last 20 years? Good luck "Chilly" (as Brett's already calling him).

Regardless of his potential play, what's not to love about his offseason retirement musings? It's like a Hitchcock plot: full of unexpected twists and perfect timing (from an entertainment standpoint). Last year he picked the most boring moment in the entire NFL calendar to announce his desire to return to the Packers, and when they said they didn't want him, his pre-training camp showdown was legendary. He threatened to show up to training camp and "compete" for a starting spot, he contemplated accepting a two-year $20 million dollar package to NOT play football, and he ended up in New York where his new coach (actually younger than him!) made his newborn son's middle name Brett.

He upped the anty this year though. The Jets called his retirement bluff and just cut him. Brett was now free and could play for whomever would have him. This gave him tremendous negotiating power. After months of speculation, much of it driven by the Favre camp, and once all signs pointed toward Minneapolis (again during the most boring part of the offseason), he suddenly said he couldn't do it. Training camp was now underway, and it certainly looked like he wouldn't play this year, even after subtly hinting that he still possibly could.

Aha! Training camps winds down, and Brett Favre finally becomes a Viking after at least six months of speculation. Honestly, I'm pretty sure he just didn't want to practice. I won't fault him for this too much. After all, who reading this entry hasn't slacked off at work when possible before? And if you're reading this at work, I double my point.

So now we just have to wait and see if the grey-bearded Favre can do some serious damage with a pretty good Vikings team.




Now, Packer fans: I can understand why you'd be upset that your most beloved star is now playing for a division rival. But I'd like to point out that he wanted to come back to you and your coach and G.M. said no and traded him away. I think if you really appreciate the years of service and Superbowl victory he gave you, you should respect his desire to keep playing. But you can still root for the Vikings to lose!


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Seriously, are you not entertained!




As a side note, Vinny Testaverde played until he was 44. Brett turns 40 this season. Don't be surprised if he retires/untires a couple more times. I know I'll be hanging on every word. So long as they're during the offseason.