Thursday Throwback Posterization: Gasol Works KG

For the second week in a row, I'm going with a dunk on Kevin Garnett. This time, it's Pau Gasol during his days with the Grizzlies. Gasol sizes up Garnett from the corner and patiently waits for the perfect moment to get the first step on him. After passing by Garnett, Gasol goes up strong to the rim and throws it down hard on Gary Trent while KG unsuccessfully tries to block him from behind. It's pretty astonishing to see how much thinner Gasol was back then, which makes it all the more amusing to see him act with such swagger after the dunk. I don't even have to tell you how hilarious the spanish commentary is.

Guillermo at the NBA Finals Media Day

It's been pretty slow around these parts lately, so I figured I'd end the drought with a funny video. I've thought about writing about the Finals, but I get the feeling that no one who comes on here gives a shit.

The Half Court Heave: Piece of the Aggro Krag

Welcome one and all to the Half Court Heave Finals Edition. On our fourth episode, we discuss the NBA Finals, what could happen with the Suns and Magic, water socks with tube socks, Ryan's performance at a Pacers halftime show, our fruitless pursuit of a piece of the Aggro Krag, and much more.



Download the Half Court Heave Episode 4: Piece of the Aggro Krag

Intro Song: "Friction" by Television
Break Song: "Future Days" by CAN
Outro Song: "Pause" by Jay Dee

At Least There Really Are Irish People in Boston

Here's the thing; I hate both the BostonCeltics and the Lakers. I actually can't think of any two NBA teams I dislike more. I hate them both like I hate the New York Yankees. The only championship match-up in all of sports that I could detest more would be the Dallas Cowboys vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers.

BUT - If I'm going to keep this interesting, I'd better disagree with SlipperyMcFaggot (I'm totally out of clever ones, so these will probably just get increasingly vulgar).

That's right - teenage_mustache is officially picking the Boston Celtics as 2010 NBA champions. In five.

Here's another contributing factor: How many rings do I need to see Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson win? Well, I've seen more than enough already. And I don't give a damn about the fact that the first three-peat was with Shack and now this is really Kobe's team. If I remember correctly Kobe was still a starting player back then.

Now for Artest. I'll be damned if he gets a ring before Chad Ochocinco! I rooted for Barkley as a kid. How many rings did he get? Patrick Ewing? You get the idea.

OK, so there was really no point to post this. But now you know where I stand. Go team that's not the Lakers!

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Kobe Schools KG

That's right Dank Game, the NBA Finals begin tonight! Because I've decided to back the Lakers, this week's Throwback Posterization is Kobe Bryant serving it up on KG and Rasho Nesterovic in the first round of the 2003 Playoffs. The fifth seeded Lakers would go on to beat Kevin Garnett and the 4th seeded Timberwolves in six games, but the Lakers would then lose to the number one seeded Spurs in six games in the second round. This put an end to their hopes of winning their fourth straight championship.

Garnett tries to close out on Kobe on the perimeter, which Kobe takes advantage of and blows passed him. Garnett attempts to keep up with him as he takes it to the rim, but Kobe goes up so quickly and strong with the reverse jam that KG doesn't stand a chance. Rasho Nesterovic tries to provide some help defense, but it seems as if he didn't expect Kobe to go for the reverse dunk.

Butt Buddies For The Win

It's no secret that Ron Artest has a bizarre relationship with Kobe Bryant. For instance, in 2008 when Kobe and the Lakers fell short to the Boston Celtics in the Finals, Ron Ron walked in on Kobe while he was showering by himself. Artest told him that he was going to come to LA and help him win a title. I can only assume he pat Kobe on the butt on his way out.

Artest idolizes Kobe. Just watch this clip of Ron interviewing Kobe before they were teammates.

You don't even have to watch more than a minute of the interview to figure out that Ron is completely enthralled by Kobe. He seems to hang onto his every word and stroke his ego with nearly every question. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Ron proposed that he stroke something more than Kobe's ego after the cameras stopped rolling.

Kobe enjoys the interview almost as much as Ron, if not more, as he seems to bask in every moment of Artest's idolization. Although the two have had some fierce battles between one another, such as last year's Western Conference Semi-Finals, I think it's safe to say that Ron Ron and Kobe are butt buddies. And because of this, I am cheering for the Lakers to beat the Boston Celtics in the Finals.

The Ultimate Catch

Attention VH1 reality TV show fans / Cincinnati Bengals fans. The two entertainment powerhouses have teamed up to bring you the reality dating show that is now (and I assume finally) titled Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch.

Originally the show was going to be called The Tournament with Ochocinco, but the producers were scared away by my sample artwork. Anyway, in the time since the show was announced, my interest has waned enormously. The thing is, in the time since Ocho appeared on the over-rated Dancing With the Stars, I realized that I don't like VH1 reality shows. Furthermore, most avid Bengals fans probably don't like them either.
Here's a Venn Diagram expressing my point. It may not be a scientific, but I figure it's fairly accurate.

So I'll give you the newest details of the show in the event that you're still reading. The Ocho will be dating 85 women, quickly whittling the pool down to 16. These sixteen women will live in a "huge Los Angeles mansion," which could technically be one of the run down old mansions in South Central. Just sayin'

He will then pair up the women for some sort of competitive dating. Naturally one of the women will go home at the end of each of these. There will be 10 episodes this summer, running from July until the week before the regular season starts.

As bad as this show will probably be, at least it can serve as an unofficial count down until football season begins.