Funny Bengals Tweets Vol. I

I left out Ochocinco (OGOchoCinco) since his Twitter account is basically a constant best-of-twitter. But here's the best of what the rest of the team has recently offered.

Tank Johnson (TankJohnson99) had the following to offer:

• Watching white folks eat fried chicken may be one of my most enjoyable things to do! Its like a 5 year old w a rubicks cube!
• The don't [know] where to start or when its all done lmao! My best friend is white so I'm NOT racist! Its just very funny!
• The dismay on they face makes it soooo funny! Do I bite it, use a fork, no a spoon, let's watch Tank.
• Let's not take this outta context we talkin bout chicken mane! Chic chic chicken mane! I challenge everyone to observe and report!
  

Former Bengals right tackle Willie Anderson (WillAnderson79) noted:

• BIGGE and SHAQ stater the BIG Man is In Campaign in the early 90's. They put us on the map! Lol BIG Men rule now! Lol
• Men should make up a holiday call "REAL MEN'S DAY" For all the REAL MEN Out here that do what their supposed to Do! Lol
• And Hell Yes we expect gifts! Lol

Linebacker Keith Rivers (rivers55) made the observations:

• everyone like pulp fiction but I guess not very many fans of hollywood shuffle*

*link added by me

Linebacker Dhani Jones (DhaniJones), referencing his "Dhani Tackles the Globe" show for the Travel Channel, suggested:

• Send me to space... How about a petition to send me to the moon or anywhere else for that matter
• "Dhani Tackles Space"

Former linebacker David Pollack (davidpollack47), watching the NCAA basketball tournament observed:

• Purdue vs Duke I can't say I'm looking forward to that to much. Alot of white men that can't jump on that floor
• White men can't jump was on TV today and man do I love that movie. I never watch the ending though bc it's way to depressing

Until next time, same Dank time, same Dank place

The Start of a Bengal's 2010 Crime Spree?

Rey Maualuga was arrested for DUI in Covington, KY in January 2010, the first Bengal arrested in the 2010 offseason. It was also the first Bengal brush with the law since Leon Hall's DUI in the 2009 offseason. This was an isolated incident for a team which had mostly been on good behavior since the end of the dreadful 2006 campaign. I'm getting a different vibe about this offseason though.

Following Maualuga's arrest he enrolled in the Betty Ford clinic. Let's hope he recovers, and maybe that could be the end of Cincinnati's legal troubles in 2010. But then the Bengals signed Matt Jones and kicked the tires of Pacman Jones. I don't necessarily like where this is going. I've looked the other way many times on questionable character signings, but after the Maualuga incident, I'm more worried than normal.

Well, I'm probably drawing too much into this, but Keith Rivers - teammate with Maualuga at USC and now in Cincinnati - tweeted today that he's "been driving fast lately[;] 140 on the dial!!! keep that on the low though[,] not exactly street legal."

Let me state that I like Rivers. He's typically a do-his-job, keep quiet kind of guy. He doesn't get in trouble with the law, and he doesn't do ridiculous celebrations or demand to be on camera all the time. He apparently doesn't understand that a public Twitter account isn't exactly "on the low," but I'll forgive him of that.

However, the fact of the matter is that he is a black man with a lot of money (via being the 9th overall pick in the 2008 draft) living in Los Angeles. And this makes him vulnerable to the notoriously crooked LA police. I assume based on the speed of the vehicle and the payday that he is driving something nicer than a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire. If he gets pulled over going well north of 100, you can practically see dirty LAPD planting bags of Cocaine in his ride.

Long story short, then Cincinnati would be without two of starting linebackers opening day!

Again, I'm probably drawing way too much into this. It could even just be an inside joke. But I am worried about this team. And the offseason boredom has already got to me, to the point where I'm playing "who's next?"