Hawks-Jazz

Mustache is finally living up to his promise of covering Atlanta teams. After attending a Falcons, Hawks, and three Braves games, I am a fully integerated Atlanta sports denizen.

Anyway, I went with a small group of people to Phillips arena last night to catch the latest come-from-behind Jazz victory (although the margin was much smaller last night than in Florida). The arena is sort of connected to the CNN center, and in an indoor courtyard between the two is the world's best food court.

What makes it world class? They had enormous beers (I'm pretty sure they were 36 ounces) for like $8. Needless to say, we were a little late for the game.

Oh, did you want actually game commentary? Josh Smith didn't shoot threes very well, Joe Johnson is pretty good and Kirilenko of the Jazz gets a lot of rebounds.

Also, according to some kids in the elevator, the Falcons are going to the Superbowl.

After I got home I watched some of the Thunder-'Blazers game. Russell Westbrook for MVP.

Birthday Hangover

I personally enjoyed Dank Game's birthday. It was fun reading through the archives (although much more time consuming than I'd anticipated), and McFavorite's Photoshop article was a great read as well. It makes me quite upset that my bootleg version of Photoshop is no longer working.

Anyway, I missed a few reader-favorite articles in my last round up so I though I'd get some links to those posted. I missed both of Dank Game's beer articles! Remember this one about the Miller High Life Camo Can?

How about Slim's thoughts on Great Lakes Christmas Ale?

How could I have possibly forgotten about J. J. Redick's hair secrets?

And Slim specifically asked about this particular Ben Roethlisberger article.

Well, that's what I've got. If anybody wants links to anything else let me know and I'll update the post.

Another Dank Game Conspiracy Theory: The Cosmic Powers of Great Lakes' Christmas Ale

It's been made no secret that us Dank Gamers enjoy beer, and last night was certainly no exception. It began as a typical night of drinking and watching football, but quickly turned into a drunken dream world thanks to Cleveland's infamous Christmas Ale. Not only does it get you drunk faster due to it's 7.5% ABV (Alcohol By Volume), but it also affects the balance of the universe in inexplicable, cosmic ways. Seriously. How else would the Cleveland Browns sack Ben Roethlisberger eight times en route to a 13-6 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers? It's gotta be the Christmas Ale.

I'm sure you're reading this and thinking it's some kind of joke, and I don't blame you for doubting me. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. I have plenty of evidence that proves Christmas Ale is truly an otherworldly beverage that affects Cleveland's sports teams when consumed in high volumes. This isn't the first time we at Dank Game have dabbled in conspiracy theories, and it certainly won't be the last.

Great Lakes only produces Christmas Ale during the holiday season, and the Cleveland Cavaliers have yet to win a championship despite having arguably the most gifted athlete to ever set foot on a basketball court. What's the connection here? If Great Lakes continued to produce Christmas Ale throughout the NBA Playoffs and Cleveland sports fans consumed large quantities of it, I honestly believe that the Cavs would finally bring home the Larry O'Brien Trophy. If only Clevelanders had the self control to ration their Christmas Ale for the playoffs. Of course, that's asking way too much of Clevelanders, though.

Still not convinced? You will be after reading the following paragraph.

According to Wikipedia, there was a shortage of Christmas Ale in 2007 due to high demand and low production owing to a shortage of honey. The very same year, the Browns had a breakthrough season after trading starting quarterback Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks and promoting backup Derek Anderson to a starter. In his first start, Anderson led the Browns to a 51-45 win over the Cincinnati Bengals, tying the franchise record of five touchdown passes in a single game. The Browns would finish the season at 10-6, which was their best record since 1994. Despite these accomplishments, they barely missed the playoffs due to a tie-breaker. What would the Browns' fate have been that season had there not been a shortage of Christmas Ale?

What is it that makes Christmas Ale such a mystical beer? I suspect Great Lakes uses some secret ingredient that allows it to affect Cleveland sports in mysterious ways. They claim that its main ingredients are sweet barley with a hint of cinnamon, ginger, and honey, but I don't think they're letting us know everything. Maybe it's a drop of "water" from the Cuyahoga, or a pinch of talcum powder collected from LeBron James' pregame ritual. Whatever it is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Who wants to join me in a road trip to Cleveland to sneak into the Great Lakes Brewery? I guess we can go to a Cavs game while we're there, too.

Miller High Life Camo Can

Awesome! Now that SlimyFavorite has changed our blog's matra from "rants about sports, music and shoes" to "seems nobody wants to hang out in a dank pit no more" I can write about what people like to do in dank pits - Drink beer!

As gun-welding, bible thumping, AM 700-listening Republicans, we here at the Dank Game are particularly excited about autumn, as it ushers in a new hunting season.

Err - actually we couldn't care less that it's hunting season. Nor are we very interested in guns, 700, or the thumping of bibles. I don't think any of us have even been hunting, although HAMS has some West Virginia in his family so I can't be sure.

However, thanks to Miller High Life, guys like us have a reason to get excited about hunting season. I think I can speak for all of us Dank Gamers when I say that the now annual High Life "Hunting Packs" (for after the hunt, remember!) are great.

Draping the best workingman's beer in America in camouflage, or the solid orange variety from last year, is like seeing a beautiful small town girl in her prom dress. . . . Which means drinking High Life out of a camo can is like taking a girl out of her prom dress . . . OK, this analogy is a little strained.

For real though, what's not to love? I especially loved the orange cans because they were perfect for Bengals tailgating. And although they're back to Camo this year, you can bet your ass that I'll be drinking one as I watch the Bengals kick the Steelers ass this Sunday.