Time to Thunder Up

I caught the OKC Thunder for the first time this season last night on TNT at the Portland Trailblazers. Reggie Miller was calling the game, but it was still thoroughly enjoyable, despite the Thunder blowing an early lead to go down big in the third quarter.

If I've learned anything about NBA basketball though, the good teams are the ones that are resilient. And getting two offensive boards in the expiring seconds of the fourth quarter to force overtime is certainly a sign of resilience, as is Russell Westbrook's three quarters of inspiring play (discounting the disappointing third period). In fact, Westbrook's highlight reel post-International play is nothing short of a top three point guard in the NBA (fuck you, Rondo).

One unfortunate trend that was appropriately noted by Miller and company is Kevin Durant's tendency to turn the ball over coupled with his lack of assists. Surely the two are connected, and you have to believe Durant will re-adjust to NBA play before too long. His teammate are getting it done, and sooner or later Durant will play a game in which he has as many assists as points. Go ahead and quote me one that.

One of his teammates getting it done of the bench is Dank Game favorite Serge "the Congolese Squeeze" Ibaka (it's gonna stick, just give it time to sink in). As the sixth man, Ibaka came off the bench in both halfs and provided lights out defensive play, keeping the Thunder in a game in which they gave up an atrocious number of offensive rebounds and let the 'Blazers shoot an absurdly high percentage in the second half.

More could be said about the Thunder's effort, including Jeff Green's 20+ points and Cole Aldrich's scrappy, albeit limited play (he didn't really do much, but Slim McFavorite feels like I'm supposed to be some big fan of his). But sitting at 3-2 and slowly cleaning up the mistakes, OKC next heads to Boston for their biggest game of the young NBA season (have I said fuck Rondo yet?)

*note - I'm pretty sure that picture isn't from last night's game, but I'm also pretty sure it's awesome.

There's Basketball on Television Again!

Last night after playing some hoops, I was flipping through channels and stumbled across a replay of the FIBA exhibition game between USA and Spain. Luckily, I had yet to check my usual basketball websites so I was unaware of the outcome. It turned out to be a super entertaining game and has got me pumped to tune into future FIBA games. Here's some of my observations:

Spain Has Got Some Ballers

Spain is obviously the biggest threat to USA's basketball supremacy. They came close to beating the Redeem Team in the '08 Olympics, which is a game I have still yet to watch. Apparently Chauncey Billups hasn't either, so that makes me feel a little better.

Ricky Rubio's court vision is certainly not all hype. He made some creative passes in transition, and the Pistol Pete comparisons are certainly justified. He's also very disruptive with his length on defense. Former Memphis Grizzly Juan Carlos Navarro was also impressive. He appears to be Spain's go-to offensive weapon, especially during crunch time. I wish he would have stuck around in the NBA, but there's just as much money to be made in Europe so I can't say I blame him for choosing Europe over the US. Marc Gasol played a decent game, but it was also really interesting to see some Spanish players who have never played in the NBA, like Fran Vazquez and Felipe Reyes.

Team USA Was Inconsistent Yet Exciting

Besides Durant, who had an excellent all around game, many of USA's players were making some really great plays but following them up with really stupid plays. For instance, Stephen Curry at one point crossed over Ricky Rubio and finished with a beautiful floater and shortly thereafter stole it from Rubio and finished with a reverse layup on the break. Soon after though, he committed a turnover and missed a jumper on consecutive possessions. Andre Iguodala was making plays but struggled shooting. Russell Westbrook missed a fastbreak dunk after getting a steal early in the game, but redeemed himself with a nice drive and a behind the back pass to Durant on the break. Derrick Rose had flashes of brilliance, especially down the stretch, but also turned it over five times.

Overall, Team USA seems impressive in transition but they still need time to mesh as a team and adjust to the international rules, as there were several travels called throughout the game.

Lamar Odom and Chauncey Billups provide veteran leadership, but Durant is clearly the leader with Derrick Rose playing second fiddle. KD was brilliant on offense and had two crucial blocks at the end of the game, including one on Rudy Fernandez as time expired.

Props to Coach K

Mike Krzyzewski deserves plenty of credit for this win, as he switched to zone during Spain's final possession of the game. Spain wanted to run the pick and roll with Navarro, so Coach K switched it up after running man-to-man for almost the entire game. Spain's Fran Vasquez said that they weren't surprised by the move, but it did prove to be a decision that affected the outcome of the game. With that said, Durant deserves the bulk of the credit for his stifling D on Fernandez.

Also Worth Noting

Durant and Marc Gasol exchanged words at one point during the game, which is something I'm not used to seeing from either of those players. Maybe there's a chance that Nenad Krstic will have the opportunity to throw chairs in KD's defense after all.

They kept running some awful chocolate milk ad with Chris Bosh and some woman Olympic athlete. There's a close-up of Bosh talking about the benefits of chocolate milk, and this woman keeps popping up next to him to fill in certain words and phrases. When the camera cuts to a wide shot, it's revealed that he's soooo tall that she has to jump on a trampoline to reach his height. It's a piss poor concept to begin with and Chris Bosh doesn't help, as he has the personality of a rock.

OKC's Nenad Krstic Gets All WWF on Greece

The Thunder's Nenad Krstic has never seemed like much of a violent guy. In fact, he would probably benefit from playing with some more aggression on the basketball court. In a recent exhibition game with his native Serbia going up against Greece, Krstic showed that he is willing to mix it up, but he didn't show it by setting hard screens or banging on defense in the paint. When a scuffle broke out in the middle of the game, Nenad showed that he is willing to ride out for his fellow countrymen as he threw several punches, stomped on a fallen player for Greece and even threw a chair all WWF-style.



It kind of makes sense now that he hasn't shown much of a mean streak in the past, as Krstic seems absolutely clueless of how to throw a punch. Not that I'm much of a scrapper, but I at least know to punch with my knuckles rather than the soft bottom of my fist. Nenad looks more like he's playing Whac-A-Mole with his fists than he does fighting.

I think the real question here is whether Nenad is willing to get violent like this in defense of his OKC brethren. I really can't imagine Durant, Westbrook or any other member of the Thunder getting in a fight so we'll probably never know.

Colangelo Trims 3

Ah the summer of 2010, world championship basketball is gearing up and Team USA looks pretty solid. I'm excited about Kevin Durant's introduction to the world basketball scene. Hopefully Jeff Green and Russell Westbrook will make the final cut and there will be an Oklahoma City Thunder triple threat repping USA--I'm sure 'Stache would get a kick out of that.

Unfortunately O.J. Mayo didn't make the squad. It's not too surprising he got cut considering the quality of guards on the roster, but I was hoping the former North College Hill star would make the team. Jerry Colangelo also trimmed the roster of Tyreke Evans and center JaVale McGee. I really thought they should have kept three centers, but then again I wanted them to keep Tyson Chandler for the '08 Olympics and they did alright without him. McGee could have been a good energy player off the bench. Chandler seems so gimpy anymore and Brook Lopez is more of a half court type of guy.

Brooklyn Thunder? Not Gonna Happen

For the first time in Dank Game history, one of our popular conspiracy theories has been lobbied at yours truly, teenage_mustache.

Specifically (if you don't feel like clicking the hyperlink above or the "read more" link on the post below), SlimMcBitchTits and some hack co-conspirator Andy "the turd" Young have suggested that LeBron's looming free agency could impact my beloved Oklahoma City Thunder. The suggestion is as laughable as the Cavaliers' defense against Garnett and Rondo.

While I appreciate Andy and Slim trying to look past the obvious - recognizing OKC, Northern Ohio and NYC interests convening at an opportune time - let's look at the facts. First off, the Thunder is one of the few teams that truly doesn't need King James. I'd like to remind you that Durant actually outscored LeBron this season. I don't see Durant and LeBron on the same team outside of the Olympics. Someone even asked Durant via Twitter (KDthunderup) if he'd like to see the Thunder sign LeBron and he responded more or less to the tune of; 'no, this is my team.'

Ron Artest's Mustache Smothers Durant/Thunder

After a convincing 110-89 game 4 victory in Oklahoma City on Saturday, the Thunder appeared overwhelmed by the Lakers last night in Los Angeles. What made the difference in the Lakers' 111-87 win? While many people are crediting Kobe's defense on Russell Westbrook, the real difference was Ron Artest's mustache.

"When Ron had the fucked up dyed hair in games 3 and 4 in Oklahoma City, I was able to get into a good rhythm. His shit just look so botched that I got into a mindset like, 'Can't nobody with fucked up hair like that stop me,' and I was able to just take it to him," said Kevin Durant in his post-game interview.

"Tonight though, I guess I just wasn't prepared for the mustache and bald head. That shit was mad intimidating. I'm just going to have to watch some tape with coach and figure out how to overcome it. He might come out with a totally new look though, so I have to be prepared for anything."

Ron Artest also gave credit to his mustache for getting into Durant's mind.

"I could tell that the dyed hair was losing its power after games 1 and 2, so I knew that I had to come back into LA with a new look that would throw Durant off his game," said Artest.

"As soon as I finished shaving my head and getting my mustache right, I looked into the mirror and said to my mustache, 'You're going to be the X-factor tonight, 'stache. Can't nobody get by you.' From that moment on, I just knew we were going to take them out. As great as my mustache was, I think my bald head deserves a lot of credit for this win too."

While Artest's 'stache proved to make the difference last night, can it continue to slow down the Thunder on their home court? Lakers' coach Phil Jackson is already planning what Artest's next look will be for game 6.

"Now that Ron is bald, we're starting to run out of options as far as what to do with his appearance," said Jackson, "but we've been tossing around some ideas on how he can come into Oklahoma City with a new, and even more intimidating look. Our first idea was to bring in a professional make up artist to make Ron look like one of the zombies from Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' music video, but that little bitch David Stern caught wind of that and threatened to fine me again. It's a real shame too, because we a had whole dance routine in the works for the announcing of the starting line-ups. At least we have Pau who basically looks straight out of the 'Thriller' video."

Because he's a big fan of mustaches and the Thunder, I tried to get a comment from Dank Game's Teenage Mustache regarding Ron's 'stache and the Thunder's loss last night. Thus far he hasn't answered his phone or responded to e-mails. I suspect that he's jealous of Ron's mustache and embarrassed by how much crazier Artest has proven to be than the Cincinnati Bengal's Chad Ochocinco.

The Dunk Heard 'Round The World

Russell Westbrook welcomes Lamar Odom to Oklahoma City.

Oh, It's On

That's right Dank Game, the moment has arrived. With the NBA playoffs only a few days away, the first official match-up is our beloved Oklahoma City Thunder vs. the hated Los Angeles Lakers.

Now I don't want to hear any guff about how the Lakers are defending champions, number one in the West, or a certain number 24. Because none of that is going to matter. The Thunder are too hungry.

Durant is the reigning scoring king of the NBA. Kobe Bryant is a pathetic fourth in the league. Russell Westbrook has 645 assists on the year. The closer Laker is this Kobe Bryant fellow again, with 365.

These stats tell me that the Lakers have only one legitimate offensive threat. Tell me how the Lakers are going to keep up with the Thunder air show with Serge "the Congolese Squeeze" Ibaka blocking half of everything Kobe tosses up with? (Ibaka has 91 blocks on the season as a rookie - he's also from the Democratic Republic of Congo - I'm trying to invent a nickname for him)

So that should settle it. Thunder over the Lakers. In six.

The only remaining question is whether it will be the Dank Game approved Miami Heat or Cleveland Cavaliers taking on the Thunder in the finals.

Stats provided by NBA.com

Miami of Ohio Heat

The Heat have finally come back down to earth after an unexpected 6-1 start, but first I want to address something else: that dick Teenage Mustache spreading lies about me. In his recent Thunder vs. Heat Dank Game Showdown post, 'Stache claims that as a child I thought the Miami Heat were a local team based in Oxford, which is widely known as Miami of Ohio. While it was meant to be fun and games, more people than I'm comfortable with have taken 'Stache's silly joke seriously. So let me clear the air and make it known that I have always been aware that the Miami Heat were based in Miami, FL. I'm sure 'Stache is off in Newark, OH (pronounced "Nurk") cackling with satisfaction as he reads this. Now, back to the Miami of Ohio Hea... I mean... the Miami Heat... of Florida. I swear, I've known all along.

The Heat have dropped two straight back-to-back games, which seemed due to happen at some point. In the Dank Game Showdown between the Heat and Thunder, Oklahoma City's height was just too much for the Heat. Thabo Sefolosha has been gaining a reputation as a lockdown defender, and he looked the part guarding Dwyane Wade who couldn't seem to get a good look at the basket. Sefolosha's length pestered Wade, as Thabo kept Wade in check and at one point stripped the ball from him as he was driving which led to an easy fastbreak dunk. Another matchup in which height gave OKC the advantage was 6'9" Kevin Durant against 6'6" Quentin Richardson. I thought that coach Spoelstra should've utilized 6'9" Dorell Wright against Durant, who's played some good perimeter defense when given the chance. Dorell guarded LeBron better than anyone else on the Heat. With the young point guard showdown, Russell Westbrook picked up where he left off last season in murdering Mario Chalmers. Westbrook more or less finished the Heat off halfway through the 4th after hitting a deep three to put the Thunder up 87-72. The only bright spot was that Daequan Cook found his three-point stroke in the fourth quarter, almost making it a game. But of course, it was too little too late.

I only watched the second half of last night's game against the Hawks, so I don't have much insight on this one. With Udonis Haslem out and Beasley finding himself on the bench due to foul trouble, Shavlik Randolph (pictured above) played a lot more than I would've liked. By the way, I mainly just used that image because Shav (which I can only assume he likes to be called) has that certain white bread look that you can't find outside of Oxford's campus. Anyhow, Shav had yet to play a game this season and he looked pretty shook out there. Again, coach Spoelstra went with a lineup at the beginning of the fourth that made no sense to me. For some reason he saw it fit to throw Shav, Carlos Arroyo, Daequan Cook, James Jones, and Joel Anthony on the floor together. The Hawks' lead would go from 7 to 12 in a matter of minutes with this group. By the time Spoelstra put a real lineup on the floor, the Heat looked like they had already accepted a loss. This team really needs to get it together, as the past few games they haven't played with any urgency.

Also, I knew I would regret not putting the Hawks in the playoffs. Wishful thinking, I guess.