Just How Corrupt Are Pennsylvania's Police?

Even before the incidents in Las Vegas, Nevada and Milledgeville, Georgia, it was known that Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger employed state troopers and city police as his personal entourage. This isn't on the surface a particularly odd phenomena. Police frequently moonlight as bouncers and body guards in all fifty states. But post-Rapistbergergate, Pennsylvania police are beginning to look as crooked as neighboring New Jersey.

Naturally the public scrutiny truly began after criminal rape charges were filed against Roethlisberger for having sex with a college student in this bathroom (seriously, this is via WPXI in Pittsburgh). Although the charges were dropped, enough evidence got out to make everyone involved look very bad. And once Georgia Police released the interviews, things went from bad to worse.

For starters, Ben was fittingly wearing a shirt with an image of Lucifer on the front, as seen in this picture from the night in question (via The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette with the accuser digitally blurred). And from WPXI, these disturbing quotes:

• After taking a round of shots purchased by Roethlisberger, the accuser said one of Roethlisberger's body guards led her down a hallway.
• Accuser: "It was kind of like they [Roethlisberger and his entourage] had planned it. Because the entire night we were asking him 'Why are you here?' And he said, 'Oh, just trying to change it up.' And we were like OK, that's weird. You're in a college town and you're 28 years old. It's weird."
• Accuser: "He had me sit at this stool and like 30 seconds later Ben comes back there, his penis was already out of his pants. And I was like, 'No, this is not right, I don't agree with this.'"

In addition to the allegations of the accuser that Roethlisberger and his entourage planned the alleged incident, several girls accompanying her that night tell stories that further implicate the involvement of the bodyguards. According to the Post-Gazette, three girls in addition to the accuser said they saw one of the bodyguards lead the accuser to the bathroom after buying the girls drinks all night. And two say that the bodyguards would not allow them to follow their friend into the bathroom. It's pretty clear that the members of Ben's entourage knew exactly what was going on, forcefully preventing others from stopping the crime, and thus becoming accessories to rape.

Could Science Explain Rapistberger's Actions?

I suppose you could mark this one under the Dank Game conspiracy files. As you are undoubtedly aware, I have not shied from Steeler-related conspiracies in the past.

Well, here's some background if you need it:

The starting quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger, keeps going around raping women, crashing motorcycles and generally acting like an asshole. Even after winning two Superbowls with the team, even the often incompetent Pittsburgh citizenry is getting tired of Ben's antics. Ultimately, Ben has been suspended for the first six games of the 2010 season.

I'll cut to a quick Steel Legends (one of Pittsburgh's finest) to explain what this means for the Steelers:

The most interesting thing about Rapistberger-Gate isn't so much how much of terrible of a person Ben really is. What's fascinating is that people are trying to hard to figure out WHY he's such a turd. After his 2006 motorcycle accident and multiple on-field concussions some think that head trauma is at least in part responsible for his more sociopathic actions.

A Face Only Pittsburgh Could Love

I'm not going to bother getting into the specifics, but for the second offseason in a row, Ben Roethlisberger has made rape charges more or less go away. Maybe he didn't do it, maybe it was consensual, whatever. I do want to type Rapistberger once, but if I am to respect the letter of the law I must point out that Big Ben was never proven guilty.

However, look at this fucking picture. Jesus Christ, the only fatter starting quarterback in this league has got be JaMarcus Russell, and I'm thinking Ben could give him a run for his money. Then there's his hair. Did he comb it with a fork and crisco on his way out of the Waffle House?

This is the press conference where he apologized to Pittsburgh fans! He could shave? He couldn't iron his shirt? At least he's wearing a belt, although it is a bit sad he needed cue cards for his apology.

Good God man, pull it together. Maybe that motorcycle accident from a few year ago knocked the brain out of his head.