Dank Game Presents: The Best in Photoshop

While Teenage Mustache has done more than enough to celebrate Dank Game's very first birthday, I felt obligated to do something to let Dank Game know that I care. And so, I've decided to do a retrospective of my own celebrating the greatest Photoshop jobs in Dank Game's first year. Some are crude, some are surprisingly decent, but hopefully all of them are the slightest bit humorous.







Without further adieu, Dank Game Presents: The Best in Photoshop.



First up is Ron Artest's passport. Ron Ron had to cancel his family vacation to the Bahamas in the 2009 offseason because he couldn't find his passport. Instead he hung out at a trendy hotel in Beverly Hills.

This image accompanied 'Stache's legendary first post, which was a conspiracy theory that the Pittsburgh Steelers have ties to the Freemasons. I always thought he should have put the Steelers logo where the G is on the Freemason logo, but it's an interesting image nonetheless.

I created this image for a story that Teenage Mustache wrote in October about a pseudo-feud between LeBron James and Braylon Edwards. I guess Braylon Edwards messed with some short guy that LeBron was buddies with or something. Edwards was traded within a day or two of the post, so it was kind of a bust.

Apparently Rush Limbaugh was vying to become the St. Louis Rams owner around October, so 'Stache put together this Photoshop masterpiece. I think my favorite thing about this one is Rush's personalized helmet.

Possibly the best Photoshop work on Dank Game to date, Teenage Mustache created this in October after notorious Bengals long snapper Brad St. Louis botched one too many snaps. It surprises me we never did a Photoshop image for Shayne "Where Da Party At" Graham.

In October, LeBron James said in a Maxim interview that if he could dunk on anyone he would dunk on G.W. Bush's ass. Yes, his ass... and then he would break the rim and shatter the glass. I'm pretty proud of this particular Photoshop job.

October was a busy month for Dank Game, and it was a busy month for us on Photoshop as well. After the Cavaliers started out their season 0-2, I made this image of Sir Shaquille and Prince James. Two days before this, I predicted that the Cavs would fall to either the Celtics or Magic in the playoffs. I'm a genius, I know.

This one rivals 'Stache's amazing Brad St. Louis Photoshop job. It actually looks like Big Baby is playing football. Seriously. He made this one for a post about Big Baby wanting to play in the NFL someday.

In November, a story came out that 50 Cent's entourage was hostile towards Marv Albert backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Show. I'm pretty sure the story turned out to be bullshit, but it at least made for a good Dank Game Photoshop image.

In December, Ron Artest willfully admitted that he used to drink Hennessy during halftime while he was playing for the Bulls. This was the moment that truly put Ron Ron in the lead of Ochocinco for the Dank Game craziest athlete competition. I was trying to find a way to make it look like he was drinking from a bottle of Hennessy, but it would've required more work than I was willing to put in. Instead, I copped out with a generic cartoon thought bubble.

'Stache put together this fine piece of work for Dank Game's first event: Jock Jams New Years. I still lose sleep at night because the originator of the party idea as well as Mr. Maybe were out of town during this extravaganza.

Teenage Mustache made this beauty as an end of year award for the best writer on Dank Game. Actually, 'Stache mainly just made this image to piss off ANDY HAMS, who hates LeBron. As you can see in the comments section, 'Stache successfully pissed him off. The award was never actually handed out, but it appears that Sean was really hoping to win. So I guess we'll finally hand it over to him. Congratulations, Sean.

Teenage Mustache created this image right before the Vikings faced the Saints in the NFL Playoffs. I think Brett Favre looks pretty convincing as an MMA fighter.

Teenage Mustache Photoshopped a blonde mohawk on "Big Baby" Glen Davis around the time Big Baby decided his new nickname should be Uno Uno. The Dank Game community was very pissed off about this, because Big Baby was shamelessly ripping off the great Chad Ochocinco.

I didn't make this in Photoshop, but I wish I had. Actually, scratch that. I'm really really glad this is a real photo. This photo appeared in a post that I wrote wondering if there was anyone crazier than Artest in the NBA. Clearly, there is not.

This is a really shitty image I made during an awful stretch for the Miami Heat last season. I think they were at or below .500 at the time and just barely in the playoff picture. The post really isn't worth linking to.

Another work of art by Teenage Mustache. I guess Ochocinco/OCNN got into a playful feud with some ESPN reporter and Chad proposed they settle it with a paintball war. 'Stache did a great job with the dimensions of Ochocinco's head.

I made this image in March after I found out that Artest turned infamous candy addict Lamar Odom onto orange slices.

'Stache made this image for a post about how Brett Favre had been relatively quiet about his future during the offseason and that he needed to give people something to talk about again. Favre is also actually a grand-dad.

Teenage Mustache helped celebrate Dank Game's 300th post with this image of Eddie Dribbles in Time's Square.

I made this image for an episode of our NBA Podcast The Half Court Heave called "Who Is The Batman To Robin Lopez?" Me and Ryan have been sleeping on doing these shows lately. We had intended to do one about "The Decision" and the NBA Draft, but that never really happened.

Okay, I take it back. This is Teenage Mustache's greatest work. He made this one for a post evaluating whether science could explain Roethlisberger's actions.

I'm particularly proud of these two. I made them after LeBron's awful game 5 performance against the Celtics, wondering whether LeBron would channel his inner Mel Gibson or his inner Chevy Chase in the following game.

Who can forget the artist formerly know as Young Turd and currently known as Mr. Maybe's mathematized Los Suns? I think we're gonna need more of these, Mr. Maybe.

I created this image for a post declaring my allegiance to the Lakers in the NBA Finals. My reasoning was that Artest and Kobe are butt buddies and Kobe would hate Ron Ron if they lost, thus making Artest less insane... or something like that. Obviously I cheer for teams for the right reasons.
Mr. Maybe created this Miami Heat Super Shredder for a post in which he fumes about the Heat recruiting Bosh and LeBron. He predicts that the big three in South Beach won't work out. Go join the rest of the haters, Mr. Maybe.

This is a very recent image I made for a post about Clevelanders sending their LeBron gear to homeless shelters in South Beach.

Lastly, here's Dank Game's very first birthday cake with Eddie Dribble's icing, courtesy of Aunt Sue. Aunt Sue makes a hell of a cake and some mean apple fritters, too. Happy birthday, Dank Game!

And so, this has been Dank Game Presents: The Best in Photoshop. I hope you enjoyed it because it probably took more time than it was worth. At the very least, it's nice to have all of our great Photoshop work all in one post. Vote for your favorite Photoshop image in the comments and maybe I'll actually have that plaque thing made up for the winner.