Soooo Fresh

The Cool Grey Air Jordan 11 has been confirmed to be released in 2010 for the first time since 2001. It is set to release around the holiday season some time in November. Widely considered Tinker Hatfield's greatest design both aesthetically and functionally (himself included), this unique colorway will almost definitely make waves in the sneaker world upon its release. While the Jordan 11 Space Jams were all the rage this past holiday season, I tend to prefer the lighter value of this colorway. I've always wanted a pair of 11s and I'm already feeling the urge to bring a pair of these home. I've never experienced the rabid madness of copping a pair of Jordans upon release, so maybe I'll finally subject myself to it. Wish me luck come November.

Remember 2006?

Oh fuck.

At first I ignored the story. Rey Maualuga arrested for driving drunk in Covington. It sucks, but it happens right? Former Bengal Willie Anderson even joked about it via Twitter - "Why hasn't someone told Bengals Young players that if you break the law in Covington, Ky your ass going to jail? That's crazy!"

But then I found out the rest of the facts: According to Profootballtalk.com, Maualuga blew a .157 blood-alcohol level. Wow, that's a lot more than .08, the legal limit.

According to TMZ (and it does eat me up inside to even reference TMZ), he crashed into two parked cars and a meter. TMZ even managed to produce an "exclusive" photo of the crash scene that I've shamelessly stolen. As a commentator noted, for some reason Maualuga (who I will remind you is a professional athlete) was driving what appears to be a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire.

But it was in a PFT update to the story that really set off the alarm. Much like Chris Henry in 2006, Maualuga was accompanied by two ladies under 21. And one of them was 17 - as in under the age of consent. Even in Kentucky. Fuck-An-A.

As near as I can tell, Rey has only been charged with driving under the influence and not providing minors with alcohol. Still, you have to be concerned that a young Bengals team might behave like their 2006 counterparts - also a young team coming off a good season. We here at Dank Game are officially concerned, as is Willie Anderson.

Durant gets the block wearing one shoe

The second best play involving a lost shoe this season. Ron Artest still holds that #1 spot.

Rick Rubio Report

I found this scouting report on Ricky Rubio today-- http://thepaintedarea.blogspot.com/2010/01/checking-in-on-ricky-rubio.html --thanks to the Painted Area. I am really excited to see Ricky play in the NBA. There is a lot of skepticism about his NBA prospects, perhaps somewhat deserved. I think Ricky will be a great NBA player though. He matched up all right with Chris Paul, Jason Kidd, and Deron Williams in the Olympics, which is what he'll have to do night after night in the NBA. By the way, it's worth noting that Ricky is playing with a UC alum on Regal FC Barcelona, none other than Pete Mickael. I always thought Pete could have made it in the NBA. He scores off some nice Rubio feeds in the video clip on Painted Area.

Hedo's awkward post-game interview

"Ball. I've got nothing else to say."

It's too bad his "Points By Quarter" stats block his face. I'm dying to see his expression.

via The Basketball Jones

Looks like 'Stache made it out to the Thunder game

What a fan. Came all the way out to OKC to watch the Thunder take on the Bulls last night.

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Shaq mashes on the Admiral

Because the All-Star Game is rapidly approaching, I decided to honor a legend who's All-Star days are behind him with this week's Thursday Throwback Posterization. This dunk by Shaq over David Robinson is from the 1996 All-Star Game in San Antonio, which makes it that much more embarrassing for the Admiral. This was in the midst of Shaq's final season with Orlando, which would culminate in a sweep to Michael Jordan's Chicago Bulls in the Eastern Conference Finals. That ensuing summer, Shaq would leave Orlando as a free agent to sign with the Lakers.

Now, back to that dunk. Everyone knows that Shaq has always had a lot of pride in being one of the best big men of all time. I'm sure he was looking to prove something with this dunk, as he destroyed one of the best centers ever in front of his home crowd. You gotta give some props to Robinson for even attempting to block Shaq, especially in a game as meaningless as the All-Star Game.



Sorry David Robinson, but if I'm gonna show Shaq dunking on you once, I might as well show another while I'm at it. This is Shaq in his prime. His strength was like nothing the NBA had ever seen at this point, and he used it in ways no one had before. David Robinson was a big, muscular dude, but the combination of Shaq's quick footwork and pure brute strength was just too much for him to handle. Shaq was so massive and at this point in his career, most of that mass was still muscle.

Need a reason to watch the Pro Bowl?

So people actually like the NBA and MLB all-star games. And for good reason - it's the best players in the league trying to one-up each other. The NFL has a little problem - it's called the Pro Bowl.

The thing is, injury is too much a risk in football. Players who are already beaten up after a long season don't want to exert themselves further. In the past the NFL tried to battle this lethargy by playing the game a month after the Superbowl to rest players. And they played the game in Hawaii, hoping the free trip would entice the NFL's best and brightest to it's annual all-star game.

This approach had one fatal problem though - No one is looking for football in early spring. Sadly, us football fans have moved onto other things. Even those that haven't are already thinking about next season and the upcoming draft.

So the league decided they should move the Pro Bowl to a week before the Superbowl to help its ratings. And they're playing it in Miami for reasons that aren't very clear to me. The result is that no one playing in the Superbowl can play in the Pro Bowl as they prepare for the big game. That's right, no one from the two best teams in the league can play in the all-star game - that makes a lot of sense.

But there's more. Because the season just ended, a lot of players are banged up - especially those from playoff teams. So the number of players that have dropped out of the Pro Bowl or declined to be named as an alternate is astonishing.

So I'll finally cut to the chase: why bother watching the Pro Bowl this year?

Up until this morning, I didn't have an answer for you. But I should have had more faith in Chad Ochocinco (that is still his name right - I'm expecting that to change back to Johnson or to something else any day now).

According to Chad's twitter account (AKA OCNN) and Profootballtalk.com, Chad has promised to kick field goals and even PUNT in the Pro Bowl. And that he's been practicing both all week. In fact, he claims he's good for field goals up to 48 yards.

Personally, I've seen an extra point and a kickoff from him. I'd love to see a punt though!

Glen Uno Uno Davis? Really?

Let's admit it:  Ocho Cinco is a stupid nickname.  But Chad has so much charisma that he makes his D+ Spanish 101 endearing.  I can hardly imagine Glen "Big Baby" Davis can do the same.

But after hearing our own Dank Game post about his supposed new nickname becoming "Uno Uno" in homage to Ochocinco, I began to imagine the horrors if this homage goes any further.  For Example, will Chad's infamous Mohawk from 2006 be sitting atop Davis' big baby head anytime soon?  If it does, it will look the image to the right.

Here's a question - given that most pro teams are located in big cities, and most big cities have Hispanic populations anymore, why is it Cincinnati and Boston where we've got players doing Spanish-related nonsense?  Why not in a city like LA, Chicago, New York, or Miami?

Big Baby doesn't want to be called Big Baby anymore

Celtics coach Doc Rivers has said that Glen 'Big Baby' Davis needs to grow up after he was fined for telling a Pistons fan to "suck [his] dick" who had been heckling him, by calling him "fat boy" and "chubs." So how does he respond to Doc Rivers plea for growth? He wants to lose his life-long nickname, Big Baby. Yeah, you heard me, Big Baby doesn't want to be called Big Baby anymore.

"I've been called 'Big Baby' all through my life," said Big Baby before Monday's game against the Clippers. "But I'm going through changes. I'm in a cocoon and I'm coming out a different player, a different person. Basically, the new person is growth. I'm shedding that 'Big Baby' and you can see something else, not the past."

That's some heavy stuff, Big Baby.

Big Baby has requested that fans come up with a new nickname via his Twitter page (@GlenDavisNBA) to help him finally break out of his cocoon, a new man. I was thinking something along the lines of "The All Grown-up Big Boy" or Glen "100% Man" Davis.

Turns out his fans' suggestions were all for naught, as The Boston Metro's Jeff Howe suggested that Big Baby go with the nickname "Uno Uno," to reference his #11 jersey and pay homage to (read: blatantly rip-off) Dank Game hero, Chad Ochocinco.

"I like that," said Big Baby. "I'll be 'Uno Uno.' That's my new name. Don't Call me 'Big Baby' any more. 'Uno Uno.' I'm serious. If somebody calls me ('Big Baby'), I'll be really mad."

So, Uno Uno it is. What an original nickname. Rolls off the tongue perfectly, too. Uno Uno. Yeah, I like that. It's definitely gonna catch on, Big Baby... errr, I mean Uno Uno.

Shoot, I hope he doesn't get steamin' mad that I accidentally called him Big Baby. I wouldn't want Big Baby to have to unleash one of his notorious temper tantrums on me.

via Ball Don't Lie

MVP, MVP, MVP!

Lebron showed his entire game on the last two possessions against the Oklahoma City Thunder. He grabbed a rebound, made a sweet pass to a wide open Boobie Gibson for a three to put the Cavs up by two. Then he plays Kevin Durant on the last meaningful possession for the Thunder and forces him into a really tough shot, which Lebron easily blocks. Red Auerbach would be proud because Lebron comes up with the ball after the block, gets fouled by Jeff Green, then makes two free throws amidst MVP chants to seal the win. He's becoming the best closer in the league and will be after Kobe.

Oh damn, there's some football games tomorrow

After about 10:00 pm tomorrow we'll know who's playing in the Superbowl!

In the first fight we've got Payton Manning & the 16-2 Colts hosting the surging 11-7 Jets. Now, the Jets have the league's best defense and some pretty damn good running backs. But the Colts have Manning at quarterback and the Jets have the mistake-prone rookie Mark Sanchez.

The Jets surprised many by beating the Chargers last round, but the Colts are just too good this year. For all the talk about the Jets' confidence after taking down the Chargers, the Colts are probably feeling pretty good after destroying the Ravens, who themselves took out Indy's arch-rival Patriots in the Wild-Card round. I think the Colts will be headed back to the Superbowl for the second time in 5 years with relative ease.

Now for the main event - the NFC Championship Game. For most of the season, the Vikings and Saints clearly stood out as this conference's best teams, and in their Divisional Round games they certainly looked the part - beating the Cowboys and Cardinals by 31 points each. I shudder to even predict the winner of this game, but with a gun to my head I suppose I would pick the Saints to advance to the franchise's first Superbowl.

Too bad the Bengals couldn't crash the party too.

Cavs beat Lakers 93-87

Lebron is just too strong. His 'and one' plays against the Lakers were great. That layup he put in right above Ron Artest's outstretched hand was amazing. He can consistently take three Lakers to the cup and score over them no matter who they are. I think the Lakers are still definitely the favorite in the playoffs but they are older than they were last year and not just by one year because of the Trevor Ariza/Ron Artest swap. I'm not sure that they peaked last year, but some of the other top teams (Cavs, Magic, Nuggets) that have better young star players might be improving faster than them at this point. Lebron is a better scorer than he was last year. You can see it in his jumper, which looks more confident. It is borne out in the numbers too. His shooting percentage is up. So is his three point percentage. I know it was just a regular season game, but I can't wait for the playoffs.

Help for Haiti

As I learn more about the dire situation in Haiti, it's made me feel a growing urge to do something. As a huge basketball fan and sneaker addict, I've discovered ways to aid the people of Haiti through various websites and blogs that I frequent. One outlet that I came across is through the clothing brand UNDRCRWN. They recently released an "Assist Haiti" T-Shirt that comes in both blue and white for $20, with all profits going towards Yéle Haiti. It's a nice looking shirt, so I went ahead and grabbed me one. In addition to this, 5% of UNDRCRWN's profits will also go to Yéle.

Another outlet for Haiti relief that I've discovered is through my favorite sneaker blog Nice Kicks. They have put together an effort called Sneakerheads for Haiti with Soles4Souls to send new and used shoes to Haiti. I've yet to send any of my shoes, but I've definitely got some laying around that I could do without. There are three ways you can help support this cause.

Send any new or gently worn shoes to:

Sneakerheads for Haiti

Soles4Souls, Inc.

315 Airport Road

Roanoke, AL 36274

So take a moment to consider supporting these two causes. If there are any other ways to support Haiti that you know of, regardless of whether they have anything to do with typical Dank Game subject matter, please share it in the comments section.

While I'm on the topic of Haiti, I'd like to point out the efforts that Philadelphia 76ers center Samuel Dalembert (the only Haitian born player in the NBA) and former NBA player Alonzo Mourning are putting forth with Project Medishare. I broke down in tears after reading this article from Truehoop about Dalembert trying to help parents adopt homeless children in Haiti. Dalembert has been in Haiti doing all he can to help, yet he remains dedicated to the Sixers as he has taken a plane back to the US to play with his team on hardly any sleep. If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is.

Seanz Snax Vol. 1

Right back like I left something. I can only assume I've been sorely missed. Anyway, now for something I really care about. Don't get me wrong, sports are great, but they're so seasonal. What's the one thing that everyone cares about and that never goes out of season? Snacks. And, since I'm listed as a contributor to this blog, I thought I should start contributing. So, here goes: Seanz Snax Vol. 1.

This one's all about Voortman Iced Almonettes. If you like cookies, almond flavor, and a little icing, these are for you. Voortman was founded in 1951 in Canada by Dutch brothers Bill and Harry Voortman. That makes them international. I don't know if they're available everywhere in the US, I've never really looked for them outside of the Greater Cincinnati Area (GCA henceforth). They've got a pretty good lineup overall - Windmills, Oatmeal Raisins, Blueberry Turnovers - but the Iced Almonettes are the top dog in my book. Do what you must to get your hands on some.

Voortman

Unless I get a lot of shit for this, look for Vol. 2 in the coming weeks.

Thursday Throwback Posterization: Tom Chambers over Mark Jackson

There's really not a lot I can say about this dunk. It pretty much speaks for itself. If there is anything to be said about it, Mitch Richmond sums it up well enough. There just isn't a lot that I can add to the conversations except, isn't that sick! Hey wait, it says that at the end of the video. Ok, I guess this video pretty much has all the bases covered. Oops, I just used an expression that references baseball.

In all seriousness, there is a few things I'd like to point out. Watch the slow motion clip at the end and take a moment to appreciate how furiously Chambers throws it down. Right after he barrels through Mark Jackson, he throws it down so hard that it looks like his arms are being fast-forwarded while everything else floats along in slow-mo. It's truly mesmerizing to me. And I don't go around calling any old thing mesmerizing.

The last thing I'd like to point out is the look of excitement in Mitch Richmond's eyes right after he says, "when Chambers went over Mark Jackson." You can tell that he's envisioning it in his mind as he speaks and it brings a smile to his face. It's things like this that make me love basketball. You can just tell that he truly appreciates that moment as much as me or the next hoop junkie.

One last thing. I love those retro Suns jerseys with the Old West typeface. If I could get a purple Kevin Johnson one, I could die a happy man.

Patta x Nike Air Max 1 Premium

This Nike collaboration with Amsterdam's Patta released all the way back on Thanksgiving, but I'm not going to let that stop me from spreading the dopeness. I've always been a fan of the Air Max 1, but with this version Patta has taken it's classic style to new heights. Patta has worked with the Air Max 1 before (white/green and white/purple) with excellent results, but the use of colors and materials on this version are what set it apart. The purple material on the toe and ankle is a perforated suede, while the black is corduroy, and the mudguard is a greyish navy denim. The green swoosh and tongue tag tie it all together, while the red accents it just enough to keep the shoe from looking too earthy.

If I had never seen this shoe and you told me about all of the different colors and materials, I would probably tell you that it would look ugly. But somehow Patta made it work and sneakerheads have taken notice, as this shoe wound up on plenty of Best of 2009 lists. With that said, I didn't like about half of the stuff that popped up on said best of lists. I do, however, like these shoes.

The best NBA on ESPN commercial yet

This ad has been on TV for a while, but I've struggled to find it on youtube until now. For those who don't understand the gorilla costume, for some reason the Phoenix Suns mascot is a gorilla. This is yet another reason I love Jeff Van Gundy.

If anyone knows what that slow jam is that JVG is playing, let me know.

More on the Slam Dunk Contest: No LeBron unless Shaq has his way

This is far from breaking news, but LeBron James' name was not included in the list of participants in this year's NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest. In the video above, LeBron said he was "preliminary putting [his] name in the 2010 Dunk Contest." He also thought Dwight and Nate had "great charismatic" in last year's contest. That's some sound English, LeBron.

So why won't LeBron enter the Dunk Contest? Is he afraid losing would hurt his image/brand? Has last year's loss to the Magic in the Eastern Conference Championship made him so focused on winning a championship that he can't concern himself with fluff like the Slam Dunk Contest? Has Cavaliers brass talked him out of entering the contest to avoid injury? Is this all just a big hoax to make the crowd lose their collective minds when 'Bron steps from the sidelines and rips off his yellow cardigan to reveal a Cavs jersey, ready to compete? Probably not the latter, but here's to hoping. It would certainly breathe life into a contest that was once star-studded with names like Julius Erving, Michael Jordan, and Dominique Wilkins. To Dwight Howard's credit, he has done his part in reviving the contest the past two years.

The NBA needs to bring back big name superstars to the Slam Dunk Contest. They seem to forget that the lack of superstars is what killed the contest in the late 90s. Sure, it's good to get some up-and-comers in there, but bringing in superstars is what makes the contest appealing to those who aren't die-hard fans. During the 2000 All-Star Break, the Slam Dunk Contest returned after a two year hiatus, and it seemed the NBA was finally bringing it back the right way. The contest included stars like Vince Carter and his cousin Tracy McGrady (who were Raptors teammates at the time) and Vince Carter turned in what might be the contest's greatest performance of all time. Unfortunately, the contest quickly lost steam in the early 2000s, despite great performances by Jason Richardson and other non-household names. How can the NBA make this contest something NBA fans and non-NBA fans alike look forward to year after year?

Enter Shaquille O'Neal. According to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Shaq has promised to talk LeBron into entering the contest but, as his manager (?), he will only allow him to enter if Vince Carter, Kobe Bryant, and another big name comes back out. So how will Shaq convince LeBron and three other stars to come back to the contest? Shaq hopes he can get a big cash money prize (that shouldn't be a problem with his bloated contract), with half of the money going to relief efforts in Haiti and the other half going to the winner. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Let's hope Shaq can pull it off, for the good of the Dunk Contest and as another way to help ease the devastation in Haiti.

Those slated to actually participate in the Dunk Contest (unless Shaq gets his way) include Shannon Brown (it's official!), Gerald Wallace, and much to NBA fans' dismay, returning champion Nate Robinson. The fourth contestant will be the winner of the Slam Dunk-In between the Clippers' Eric Gordon and Raptors rookie DeMar Derozan. I've been hoping all season long to see Shannon Brown in the contest and Gerald Wallace was another player I had hoped to see, even though he was already in it back in 2003.

As for Nate, he's already won the Dunk Contest twice, and at 5'9", is there really anything else he can do that he hasn't already done? I hope he proves me wrong, but I just can't imagine a player under 6 feet ever topping 5'7" Spud Webb's legendary performance in 1986.

Big up to Ochocinco & Deveroes

via Deveroes

Shannon Brown dunks on his own teammate, also some news on the Slam Dunk Contest

After a Kobe Bryant miss, Shannon Brown takes off to ridiculous heights with a put-back dunk. Brown's unsuspecting teammate Josh Powell goes up for the rebound and receives an unlikely posterization by his own teammate. Shannon Brown's ups are absolutely ridiculous. I said before the season that he ought to be in the All-Star Slam Dunk Contest after seeing this dunk from the preseason, and it seems that my wish just might come true. Apparently Nike may have mistakenly revealed Brown as a contestant on it's Basketball Blog, as they have begun promoting a Shannon Brown Nike iD Slam Dunk Design Contest. Ooops. Contestants will design their own colorway of the new Kobe V for Shannon to sport in the contest.

In other Slam Dunk Contest news, LeBron is still being noncommittal on whether he will participate after proclaiming he would during last year's contest. LeBron's being pretty lame about this. I wonder if he'd walk off the court to the locker room without shaking the winner's hand if he lost.

As for the other participants in the contest, the Raptors' DeMar DeRozan and the Clippers' Eric Gordon will face off in the first ever NBA All-Star Slam Dunk-In during halftime of the Rookie Challenge & Youth Jam (I think that's the Rookie vs. Sophomore game, but maybe it's something else). They will each get two minutes to throw down two dunks and the winner will be determined by fans texting. The winner will get to participate in the Slam Dunk Contest.

Props to J.E. Skeets of Ball Don't Lie

SUNDIATA GAINES!!!!

Sorry Cavs fans, but I can't help myself from taking tremendous pleasure in seeing a player called up from the D-League's Idaho Stampede (yes, there's actually a sports team called the Idaho Stampede) hit a game winning shot to beat Cleveland. What a great story amidst a season that has been overshadowed by some idiot who brought guns into the locker room.

To give you some background, watch this video:



Now, back to last night's game. Deron Williams left the game in the 4th quarter after re-injuring his wrist, which set up an opportunity for the Jazz's D-League call-up Sundiata Gains, or Yatta, as his new teammates call him. The Jazz and Cavs would exchange runs in an absolutely insane 4th quarter. The highlights are worth watching, by the way. With the Jazz up thirteen with under five minutes to play, LeBron started to catch fire as he launched three-pointers that seemed like awful shots but somehow the ball found the basket time and time again. It appeared the Cavs were going to run away with it, but missed free throws down the stretch kept the Jazz's hopes alive. With seven seconds left, Utah's Kyle Korver hit a crazy Larry Bird-esque behind-the-basket shot to bring the Jazz within one. The Jazz would immediately foul Big Z, who hit one of two free throws. And then this happened:



This is some real hoop dreams come true type shit, and it just makes me feel so good inside. In the words of the great Charles Barkley, "That was awesome."

Thursday Throwback Posterization: 'Nique on Bird

Although I missed Dominique Wilkin's 50th birthday by two days with this post, I couldn't let that stop me from sharing this one. One of the best to ever throw it down in the NBA, if not the best, Wilkins absolutely destroys Larry Bird here. Larry Legend would've been best off just getting the fuck outta the way on this one. Although this is a sick dunk, I actually wanted to use Wilkins' throw down on Robert Parish instead, but I couldn't find a video on youtube with just that dunk on it's own. So do yourself a big favor and take a couple minutes to watch 'Nique's top 10 dunks. I promise you won't be disappointed. The aforementioned dunk on Robert Parish is number 3 on the list. If you ask me, it's the epitome of a posterization, especially considering it was over one of the most daunting defenders of all time. He throws it down so hard.

Another one bites the dust

Looks like Blake Griffin is going to have to get used to wearing a suit. Yet another #1 draft pick oozing with potential will have to watch from the sidelines, as it was reported yesterday that the Los Angeles Clippers' Blake Griffin will have season ending surgery on his broken left knee cap. Griffin had been progressing enough with his recovery that he had begun running on treadmills, but after he felt pain in his knee while jumping in a swimming pool, it was determined that surgery would be necessary.

God damn. Who in the NBA is next? Greg Oden is out for the year, as well as almost half of the rest of the Portland Trailblazers. And now it's being reported that Brandon Roy is having pain in his hamstring, which means he might miss some time. But that's the Blazers, so I won't get into that.

So where do the Clippers go from here now that they can't assess how the rest of the roster will play alongside Griffin? What the Clippers decide to do with Marcus Camby and his $9,150,000 expiring contract seems to be the biggest issue at hand. Because their playoff hopes are more than likely nonexistent in the competitive Western Conference, the Clippers might be able to acquire some younger talent for Camby, who's skill set and expiring contract has long been coveted by many teams throughout the league. However, there is also speculation that they will hold on to Camby to fill Griffin's void in the front court. I say if Camby can get them a swingman who is a proven veteran or promising young prospect, they might as well do it. Camby is 35 years old, so it's not like he will be a big part of their future.

Man, this sure sucks. As if two winning seasons in the past 30 years wasn't enough to feel bad about for Billy Crystal and the rest of the Clips' fan base. At least they have something to look forward to next year, although I'm sure they're sick of that sentiment by now.

First Good News of the Off-Season

In the end, injuries really hurt the Bengals defense. I can only imagine the team the Bengals were fielding at the beginning of the year winning their playoff game. But without Odom, Maualuga and Roy Williams, and with many others banged up, the defense just wasn't quite the same.

But although the year didn't end particularly well for the unit, they still finished as the fourth overall defense in the NFL. You'd think a defense like this coupled with a Carson Palmer-led offense would be even better . . .

Anyway, that's a sufficient enough intro. The good news is that the Bengals were able to resign defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer to a three year contract according to NFL.com. Zimmer had been expected to be one of the hottest free-agent coaches available, and given the Bengals track record of retaining free agents (see: Corey Dillon) I was sure Cincinnati would be losing him.

Actually, mark this down as great news. Do you guys remember the Bengals defense before Zimmer? I remember the offense scoring 45 points one game and then LOSING. Now they're a top five unit?! And the Redskins were rumored to be among the teams luring him. Do you know how much money 'Skins owner Daniel Snyder throws at players and coaches he wants?

Maybe, just maybe, this is a sign the Bengals front office is changing. Players and coaches actually want to be in Cincinnati, and the Bengals can compete for a postseason berth regularly - instead of twice every twenty years. I'm probably getting ahead of myself, but we can hope right?

As a side note, I found the fake baseball card randomly on Google image search. The internet has not let me down today!

Da party ain't in Cincinnati, Shayne

Looks like the only original Dank Game nickname (Shayne "Where-da-party-at?" Graham, for those who don't know) isn't gonna stick. At least not in Cincinnati. Get the fuck outta here, Shayne. Now, let's do all we can to help promote WhoDeyRevolution's nickname for Brian Leonard: "The White Weapon." It's only a matter of time before it catches on.

Optimism?

OK, let's admit it. The Bengals blew it.

After starting the season with more momentum than anyone expected, the team basically disappeared at the end of the year. This trend continued into the playoffs, although their final effort (minus Shayne Graham at least) wasn't completely embarrassing.

But when you look at the overall picture, you see a young team with a few serious weak points. And these things can now be addressed seriously without worrying about losing any major players.

We certainly don't need to lose sleep over Cincinnati's running back stable, linebacker corps, or starting defensive backs.

Unless the speculation that Carson's elbow is indeed still damaged from last season's injury, we shouldn't have to worry about quarterbacks either - and even if he is hurt, he has another offseason to recuperate. We could probably get a better back up, but this isn't critical.

I figure there are three main areas to improve, and another three that could use tweaking. The most important is wide receiver. Chad Ochocinco (I have a strong feeling that last name will be changing again soon) is still solid, but probably not the elite guy he was from about 2003-2007. I figure to see two more good seasons out of him. After that, the Bengals have close to nothing. Andre Calwell shows flashes and is probably a good third option, but maybe not starter material. Coles isn't close to being worth the money we'll owe him, and I expect him to get cut. Anyone else is just a footnote so far.

There's a chance that both Anquan Boldin of the Cardinals and Joshua Cribbs of the Browns will be available this offseason. The Bengals need to aggressively pursue these guys, or any other type of number two wide receiver that becomes available. The Bengals haven't done a good job of developing young WRs in recent years (see: Jerome Simpson - 2nd round pick, 1 reception in 2 seasons), and we need someone who can step up right away - like Coles was supposed to this year.

The next most pressing need is nickle cornerback. Jonathan Joseph and Leon Hall did as good a job as any team should need shutting down the number one and two WRs as any defense should need, but the slot guy made the Bengals pay time and time again. With the risk of losing one of them to free agency in the next few years, having a young guy to develop wouldn't be a bad thing.

Defensive line is also worrying, as it seems injury prone. Antwan Odom and Pat Sims both ended their seasons early. Domata Peko and Robert Geathers both missed games to injury. Tank Johnson seemed to end up on the injury report every other week. This unit frequently didn't generate the kind of pressure it needed to late in the season. This is supposedly a D-line heavy draft, and then Bengals should pounce on one of these guys as early as round one, depending of course on who's available.

First on my list of secondary issues is tight end. The big question marks here are who will be back and what kind of offensive scheme Cincinnati will run next year. If they're looking for more of a pass catching tight end, maybe last year's pick, Chase Coffman will be up to NFL speed. Although not signed for next season, it seems likely the Bengals could bring Reggie Kelly back. I expect J.P. Foschi to be back, but probably not Dan Coats.

Safety is a position where the Bengals defense could improve. They've got pretty good starters in Roy Williams, Ndukwe and Chris Crocker, but if their is an outstanding rookie safety available, I have to think they'll got after him.

Last I have offensive line. This unit probably over-performed this season, and if the right guy is available in the draft Cincinnati should take him. The current offensive line is good, but it does stand room for improvement in pass protecting. Hopefully the further development of Andre Smith leads to this need diminishing.

So, I figure the Bengals draft will look something like this:

Round 1 - Defensive Tackle or End
Round 2 - Cornerback
Round 3 - Safety
Round 4 - Offensive Lineman
Round 5 - Wide Receiver
Round 6 - Tight End
Round 7 - Kicker

It will be interesting to see if I get any of these right

Ginobili is so sick

Just sayin...

While I'm on the topic of the Bengals...

The latest from Chad Ochocinco's Twitter acount: "My birtday present-super truck."

Who gave it to him? Unfortunately, I don't know.

Asleep on the job, Teenage Mustache? I'm doin' your work for you now, huh? Go figure out what Ron Artest is doing for me, would ya? You owe me one.

Stakes is High

The moment of truth has arrived, and hopefully it won't be the last for the Bengals during the ensuing NFL Playoffs. After an embarrassing 37-0 blowout by the Jets last Sunday it's hard to remain optimistic, but I'm trying my damndest to have that glass-half-full outlook that has been so hard to maintain throughout this season. Obviously the Bengals didn't go all out for last week's game. Starting running back Cedric Benson was out, as well as key defenders Domata Peko, Robert Geathers, and Chris Crocker. But still, it's just really hard to go into this game feeling confident in this team. It's been a draining season for us Bengals fans, despite a winning record and the first playoff berth since the 2005-06 season. Let's just hope this team can at least manage to make it out of the first round. Anyhow, enough ranting from someone who knows hardly anything about football. Let's get ready to go out there and show the Jets why the Cincinnati Bengals are the AFC North Champs! I'll be in attendance doing my best to cheer for the entire Dank Game community. I'll also be wearing my new Jeff Blake jersey. Wish me and the tigers luck!

Put some points up on that board and win the game for Cincinnati!

R.I.P. Slim... This one's for you!

Heartbreak Heat

This season's Miami Heat team has been a huge flirt. They start the season out strong at 6-1, and before you know it they fall back into a middling team struggling to remain above .500. Then they have those games when they look poised to turn a corner, only to be put in their place by a buzzer beating freak shot by the best finisher in the game. Then they come out and get embarrassed by the Grizzlies on their home court. Less than a week after that, they blow out Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic at home.

And then there's games like last night, when they trade runs with the KG-less Celtics and let a sizable lead in the 4th quarter disappear, putting the game up for grabs in the waning moments. And then, when Wade seemingly has the game sealed after a an improbable steal and dunk putting them up by 2 with .6 seconds remaining, Paul Pierce executes a perfect mid-court inbounds alley oop to Rajon Rondo for a tip-in that would tie the game and send it to overtime. And of course, the Heat collapse in overtime. What makes this even more heartbreaking is that the game should have ended after Wade's dunk. The time keepers mistakenly stopped and restarted the clock after a Celtics turnover with about 8 seconds left, as they anticipated the Heat to call timeout. I don't know how much more of this I can take, and when you factor in the Bengals' gut wrenching season, I'll probably be going grey by the time the NBA Playoffs roll around... but I digress.

Dwyane Wade seemed livid after this loss, and you can't blame him. Dude posted a season high 44 points and basically had the game won only to see it go to waste because Mario Chalmers couldn't keep up with Rajon Rondo on that final play in regulation. In a season that's been all about assessing the Heat's youth, you have to wonder if this single play has made Chalmers' future with the Heat all the more questionable. While Chalmers did have a few big plays (mostly steals), he shot poorly from the field and crumbled on defense when it mattered most. Is this really the type of running mate Wade is hoping to spend the rest of his career with? Can Chalmers really contribute to a championship team? The answer to those questions is seeming more and more like a resounding "no."

As for the rest of the Heat's youth movement, Dayton's Daequan Cook has basically been banished from the rotation as he still struggles to find his shooting stroke, which he lost all the way back at last year's All Star break. Dorell Wright has been pretty solid this year, but it's doubtful Heat management will resign him unless he's willing to settle for a meager contract. Michael Beasley still looks to be an All Star in the making, but you have to wonder if he can maintain consistency in the playoffs if the Heat do retain Wade and become contenders with a big free agent signing this summer. I even have my doubts that Beasley has what it takes to contribute throughout a single playoff series, although I'd like to think otherwise. If only coach Spoelstra would give Beasley minutes when the games matter most so we could have a better idea. Lord knows his offense could've been used last night in overtime. With that said, you can't blame Spo for sticking with Haslem last night as Udonis had the hot hand in the second half, nailing baseline jumper after baseline jumper to finish with 19 points.

And so Dank Gamers, I'll end this long overdue Miami Heat rant with more or less no conclusion, because it's hard to make any sense of this team thus far. Maybe the inevitable return of Rafer Alston (who's contract was bought out by the lowly Nets) to South Beach can bring some perspective to this motley cast of characters, or maybe he'll make the roster all the more confounding. I just hope Pat Riley has a better idea of where this team is headed than the rest of us Heat fans.

Really, Gil? (UPDATE)

For those who haven't heard, Gilbert Arenas is under investigation by federal authorities for having guns in his locker, which he claims to have brought to the arena to keep away from his children. Apparently he set the unloaded guns next to Javaris Crittenton's locker as a joke (which is actually believable considering it's Gilbert Arenas) after Crittenton had said he would shoot Arenas' oft-injured knee following a gambling dispute. The whole thing sounds like a joke that was taken way too far. From what I've read, it seems that Crittenton may have actually been upset over the money Arenas supposedly owed him. Arenas claims the two are still friends, though.

Arenas has taken the whole thing as a joke, and judging by this photo from last night's game against the 76ers in Philadelphia, he's still not taking it very seriously. Arenas claims that he was asked to do this pre-game dance, and that it was a play off of a touchdown celebration from "Any Given Sunday." I have a feeling things are going to get a lot less funny for Gil real soon.

Despite the ongoing distraction for the Wizards, Arenas scored 19 points and dished a season high 14 assists to rally from an 18 point deficit. Guard Nick Young scored 21 points to help fuel the comeback. Legal troubles notwithstanding, the 76ers are at an even lower low than the Wizards after this loss. And to think, I predicted these two teams would make the playoffs. At least I had them as the 7th and 8th seeds.

UPDATE: It has been reported that Gilbert Arenas has been suspended indefinitely by NBA Commissioner David Stern. Although Stern originally planned to wait out the federal investigation before assessing his punishment for Arenas, Gilbert's "ongoing conduct has led [Stern] to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game." For more on this, check out J.E. Skeets' post on Ball Don't Lie. On the very same blog, NBA sportswriter/blogger Kelly Dwyer has written an interesting post criticizing Gilbert's behavior throughout this whole mess.

Shaq Effect

I love the Shaq trade for the Cavs. All they gave up was a rusty Ben Wallace and Sascha Pavlovic, who is not really even a rotation player. Shaq makes the Cavs bigs so much better by being the starter. He allows Varejao and Ilgauskas to come off the bench, which is great because they are both starting caliber players. Shaq doesn't need to do much because the bench players are actually better. Shaq gets the other team's bigs in foul trouble because you still almost have to foul him when he catches it deep. We all know Lebron can get him the ball with deep position and that equals fouls. Getting in the bonus is extremely important and Z doesn't draw fouls like Shaq does as he is more of a jump shooter. I can't even imagine what it's gone be like when Leon Powe gets healthy. Remeber, Powe was Kevin Garnett's back up in Boston and he was a dog man. He had great per minute stats for the Celtics. Granted he didn't play that many minutes, but who would backing up KG?