Press Hop 2

This is DJ Steve Porter's sequel to his internet sensation Press Hop. This is the same guy that did those annoying ass NBA commercials that were on during the end of last season and the Playoffs. It features some entertaining footage of Ochocinco dancing shirtless on Dancing With The Stars, but sadly it only has one tiny clip of Ron Artest saying "psychiatrist" which is spliced in with Allen Iverson bitching about coming off the bench. You would think that DJ Steve Porter would have been able to milk Artest's amazing NBA Finals post-game interviews to greater effect.

Could Delonte Heat Up Potential LA vs. Miami Rivalry?

Rumor has it that the Lakers are close to acquiring Delonte West. Apparently LA had been trying to trade Sasha "The Machine" Vujacic and a draft pick for West to rid themselves of Vujacic's salary. West was traded to Minnesota on Tuesday and is expected to have his contract bought out by the Timberwolves, making him a free agent. If the Lakers can move Vujacic, sources say the Lakers will sign him.

This acquisition would be interesting for several reasons. First off, if the rumors about Delonte's affair with LeBron's mother Gloria James are indeed true, it will add a new layer to the potential rivalry between the Heat and the Lakers. Gloria James might be torn between who to support if the two teams end up meeting come next June.

Another reason this would be interesting is that the Lakers would have arguably the two most insane players in the NBA on one roster in Ron Artest and Delonte. West just recently pleaded guilty to traffic and weapons charges after having been pulled over on a three-wheeled motorcycle and found with a 9mm Beretta pistol, .357 Magnum and a Remington 870 in a guitar case back in September. He was sentenced to electronic monitoring, unsupervised probation, 40 hours of community service and psychological counseling. At this point, you might even say West is crazier then Artest.

Lastly, this acquisition would be interesting because it sets up a potential reality show for West if he winds up in Hollywood. Maybe it couldn't get off the ground until he's off probation, but the opportunity is there now that he's out of boring old Cleveland. I mean, who wouldn't want to watch Delonte rap in fast food drive-thrus on television. And if we're really lucky, maybe Artest and West could join forces to make a reality show of the NBA's craziest players. In fact, "Artest and West" would be a pretty good name for the show, although I do really like Artest's forthcoming reality show's name: "They Call Me Crazy."

Slim's Sneaker History

It's been a while since I've written about kicks, as nothing new has really caught my eye enough to inspire a post. So I've decided to take a moment to let you in on how my sneaker obsession began. I'm sure you're just dying to know. I trace the obsession back to my days in the first grade, when my good friend Ryan, of Half Court Heave fame, moved in next door to the Mayfields on good ole Shuman Lane in Finneytown.

Up until this point, I had never owned a pair of Nike Airs and it wasn't until I saw Ryan and his older brother rocking them that I began to covet them more than anything else in the world. My desire to own a pair grew so strong that one time, while eating at a restaurant with my family, I noticed a waitress wearing some and loudly exclaimed, "She's wearing Nike Airs!"

One morning after a sleepover at Ryan's house, I noticed a pair of black and white Nike Air trainers sitting in the basement. They were an old pair of Ryan's brother's shoes and they fit me perfectly. I asked if I could buy them, despite being pretty worn in, and before long a deal was struck for $5-10. It should also be noted that after Alonzo Mourning was traded to Miami, I bought my second Starter jacket from his brother which was a Miami Heat pullover.

I remember walking around in my used kicks and looking at the Nike Air logo on the back of my heel to soak in the glory of wearing a true pair of Nike Airs. Yeah, I was a dweeb. From this point on, an obsession was born. The obsession wouldn't be fully realized until after graduating college, but the seed had been planted nonetheless.

If I still have your attention, take a moment to marvel at some of the freshest sneakers I rocked during my formative years.

Throwback Posterization: MJ Throws Down on Tree Rollins

I neglected to post a Throwback Posterization yesterday, so I'm doing one on a Friday this week to get you pumped for the weekend. This week's throw down is courtesy of the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan. I'm not entirely sure what season this is from but judging by his teammates and what appears to be Jordan 3's on his feet, I'm pretty sure it's from the '86-87 season.

Jordan catches a pass on the perimeter and does his patent palm-the-ball pass fake to Charles Oakley on the baseline, which breaks the ankles of the Hawks' Cliff Levingston. With his defender falling to the floor, Jordan takes it to the hoop as 7-footer Tree Rollins mans the paint. Taking just one dribble before taking off, MJ skies over Rollins for a textbook Jordan dunk. Rollins has good position to contest the dunk, but Jordan's teammate Earl Cureton cuts to the basket right before Jordan gets to the rim which distracts Tree. After the dunk, Jordan runs down the court with some serious swagger that foreshadows the superstar he would become.

I also want to point out that Tree Rollins became a running joke in my neighborhood when I was growing up because he had a funny name. Kiki Vandeweigh was another player whose name we ragged on. My brother and I even made up a song/story about him in which he was the narrator's best friend and ultimately died. I'm serious. I can still remember the melody which was likely ripped off from some other song.

Still No Word on Artest's Reality Show

While Teenage Neckbeard is busy wasting his time watching T.O. and Ochocinco's boring reality shows (I haven't actually watched either of them) news is still slow on Ron Ron's much anticipated and aptly titled reality show of his own, "They Call Me Crazy." It was announced around the beginning of April that Dank Game's poster child for insanity would be getting his own reality show, but not much else has cropped up regarding the show's format or debut. I can pretty much guarantee that it will be the greatest reality television ever, if not the greatest television ever. To keep your interest piqued, here's a new video of Ron Artest interviewing himself for ESPN The Magazine.

May I just say that Ron and Ron's chemistry in this interview is simply off the charts. He's so charming as both an interviewer and interviewee, although Ron Ron the interviewer seems a bit mystified by Ron Ron the interviewee's desire to go ice skating on Pluto. I don't really understand why. Who wouldn't want to ice skate on Pluto? However, Ron Ron the interviewer seems very engaged on all of the other topics which include Ron Ron the interviewee's love of Titantic and Celine Dion and his convoluted reasoning for selecting 37 as his jersey number. Lastly, I'd also like to point out Ron's beautiful new hairstyle and the fact that he minored in architecture at St. John's. I think it's safe to say that Ron is the only man alive who's minored in architecture while simultaneously supporting his college education as a pimp.

TO Show vs Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch

As if Hard Knocks, Dancing with the Stars and Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch weren't enough! In the wake of the TO signing, Bengals fans are stuck with another reality show, The T.O. Show.

Of course, the good folks at VH1.com stream full episodes (complete with even more ads for Dinner For Schmucks - seriously, this looks terrible). I felt it was due diligence to watch at least one episode. I also watch highlights from Ultimate Catch episode 2 so as to make the fairest possible comparison.

The T.O. Show:

In episode 103, Terrell goes to Manhattan for Fashion Week with one or his two assistants (the hot one; the other one is very pregnant). They have a serious of misadventures, first the assistant getting, then being booted from the larger hotel room. They then go to a fashion show where both were supposed to sit front row, but the assistant ends up losing her seat. Finally Terrell gets asked to model something on the runway later, so their plans for the rest of the day are canceled.

As the assistant was really looking forward to the trip, she is upset she keeps getting the short end of the stick. But in the end TO makes it up to her by hiring a helicopter tour of the city for the two. What a sweetheart.

It's pretty obvious that the situations are rigged and that the assistant is almost certainly an actress. It is marginally humorous though.

Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch

In episode 102, the Ocho goes on his first two elimination round dates. Three of the four girls on these two dates are either insane or incredibly stupid or both. The funniest girl is the slightly larger black girl, who is subjected to a Ustream'd dinner date where Chad's fans informed him that despite the attractiveness of the other girl, she was a total bitch. Chad picked the funny "fat" girl.

The other date featured a girl who was supposedly funny against a born-again virgin. The "funny girl" actually promised in the elimination that she would "get down" with Chad. I'll give you one guess who Chad picked.

Conclusion:

I can't recommend either of these shows. To anyone. But if you're into Blind Date type shows and think Ochocinco is funny, I guess you'd like Ultimate Catch. And if you like really bad sitcoms, you'd probably like The T.O. Show better. I'll give the edge to The T.O. Show, because I found it much easier to sit through the whole thing (and I only watched highlights of Ultimate Catch).

When the fuck is Artest's reality show coming out?

Colangelo Trims 3

Ah the summer of 2010, world championship basketball is gearing up and Team USA looks pretty solid. I'm excited about Kevin Durant's introduction to the world basketball scene. Hopefully Jeff Green and Russell Westbrook will make the final cut and there will be an Oklahoma City Thunder triple threat repping USA--I'm sure 'Stache would get a kick out of that.

Unfortunately O.J. Mayo didn't make the squad. It's not too surprising he got cut considering the quality of guards on the roster, but I was hoping the former North College Hill star would make the team. Jerry Colangelo also trimmed the roster of Tyreke Evans and center JaVale McGee. I really thought they should have kept three centers, but then again I wanted them to keep Tyson Chandler for the '08 Olympics and they did alright without him. McGee could have been a good energy player off the bench. Chandler seems so gimpy anymore and Brook Lopez is more of a half court type of guy.