JaMarcus anyone?

So, I'm going to need a contingency plan if Ochocinco is going to resemble a halfway sane person going forward. Fortunately, there are plenty of borderline lunatics in the NFL.

My first thought was Jared Allen, the Minnesota Vikings lumberjack/bullrider/incredible hulk of a defensive end. Video evidence:

But after seeing this YouTube video of Oakland Raider's quarterback JaMarcus Russel at an NBA game with what the announcers estimate is $1 million worth of jewelry, I think I've got my man.

And of course it makes sense. Oakland! Owner Al Davis is a lunatic. The fans are lunatics. The stadium is lovingly referred to as the Black Hole (but not when the A's play there). And the last five or six first round draft picks (usually in the top 5 or 6 overall) have been colossal busts.

But none bigger than JaMarcus. And every bit of evidence is that he just isn't trying very hard. He is supposedly the last guy to get to practice and the first guy to leave. And whenever he loses, which is frequently, he usually blames the other offensive players for not getting open or making plays.

In short, he does everything a quarterback isn't supposed to do in the NFL. But he was a first overall draft pick with an Al Davis-style pay inflation. He's too expensive to get rid of, so regardless of how bad he is, he'll be there a couple more seasons.

Oakland's last coach even got fired in large part because he didn't want to draft JaMarcus and didn't think he could work with him. And after benching JaMarcus halfway through last season, current coach Tom Cable is supposedly on the hot seat to lose his job.

The team of Davis/Russel has ruined many a pro football careers. It will be fascinating to see how many more will be ruined before Jamarcus is driven out of Oakland, likely with torches and pitchforks. It is Oakland after all.

A Newer, Saner Ochocinco

Well after getting some horrible Bengals news, here's something that might make you think the craziest Bengal may have found some sanity.

According to Bengals.com, Chad Ochocinco (I am seriously thinking about just calling him Johnson again - I am almost positive his last name won't be Ochocinco next season) wanted to do a touchdown celebration at the Pro Bowl.  Knowing that league commissioner Roger Goodell isn't too keen on his TD dances, Chad somewhat sanely tweeted Goodell to ask him if that would be alright.  Goodell responded yes, so long as it was "in good taste."

Now, for the last three years Chad has been doing touchdown celebrations in spite of league rules limiting what he was allowed to do.  His MO was that he was just trying to have fun and entertain the fans.  And a displeased Goodell would fine Ochocinco for many of these occurrences.

But this may change.  Apparently Ocho has realized that he could just ask permission beforehand - avoiding a fine and an unhappy league office.  To quote Chad "I'm going to tweet him before every game next year and run by him what I have planned for a celebration that week.  That way he can tell me right then and there if it's OK.  There's no reason we shouldn't be on the same page."

This just sounds too mature and rational for Ochocinco.  I suppose even if Goodell tells him no he could still do it though.  Only time will tell. Why does the NFL offseason have to be so long?

As a side note, despite two passes thrown his way in the endzone, Chad was not able to reel in a TD catch.

Chris Paul sidelined 6-8 weeks for knee surgery

It's been a disappointing couple of seasons for the New Orleans Hornets after they had seemingly turned a corner in the 2008 playoffs. Unfortunately, things are probably about to get even more disappointing. The only consistent force on the team, Chris Paul, is likely to be out 6-8 weeks to undergo knee surgery (welcome to the Western Conference All-Stars, Chauncey Billups). Paul had twisted his left knee in a game against the Warriors and then reaggravated it after having to save an awful inbounds pass by David West in the waning moments of regulation in the Bulls game Friday night. Paul collided with a camera man after saving the ball, which led to a basket by the Bulls to tie the game and send it to OT. A hobbled CP3 attempted to play in OT before eventually sitting, and the Hornets would go on to lose the game, literally adding insult to injury. Paul was visually frustrated with his team's uneven play.

This injury has folks on the internet imploring that the NBA finally move cameramen back to create some more space behind the basket. This has always been a contentious debate, and maybe an injury to a true elite player will finally give them a reason to create more room to play the game. Fast breaks would be more exciting as players would be inclined to run the court with reckless abandon and there would be a lot more entertaining dives for loose balls headed out of bounds on the baseline.

I know Dennis Rodman would have appreciated it:

Soooo Fresh

The Cool Grey Air Jordan 11 has been confirmed to be released in 2010 for the first time since 2001. It is set to release around the holiday season some time in November. Widely considered Tinker Hatfield's greatest design both aesthetically and functionally (himself included), this unique colorway will almost definitely make waves in the sneaker world upon its release. While the Jordan 11 Space Jams were all the rage this past holiday season, I tend to prefer the lighter value of this colorway. I've always wanted a pair of 11s and I'm already feeling the urge to bring a pair of these home. I've never experienced the rabid madness of copping a pair of Jordans upon release, so maybe I'll finally subject myself to it. Wish me luck come November.

Remember 2006?

Oh fuck.

At first I ignored the story. Rey Maualuga arrested for driving drunk in Covington. It sucks, but it happens right? Former Bengal Willie Anderson even joked about it via Twitter - "Why hasn't someone told Bengals Young players that if you break the law in Covington, Ky your ass going to jail? That's crazy!"

But then I found out the rest of the facts: According to Profootballtalk.com, Maualuga blew a .157 blood-alcohol level. Wow, that's a lot more than .08, the legal limit.

According to TMZ (and it does eat me up inside to even reference TMZ), he crashed into two parked cars and a meter. TMZ even managed to produce an "exclusive" photo of the crash scene that I've shamelessly stolen. As a commentator noted, for some reason Maualuga (who I will remind you is a professional athlete) was driving what appears to be a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire.

But it was in a PFT update to the story that really set off the alarm. Much like Chris Henry in 2006, Maualuga was accompanied by two ladies under 21. And one of them was 17 - as in under the age of consent. Even in Kentucky. Fuck-An-A.

As near as I can tell, Rey has only been charged with driving under the influence and not providing minors with alcohol. Still, you have to be concerned that a young Bengals team might behave like their 2006 counterparts - also a young team coming off a good season. We here at Dank Game are officially concerned, as is Willie Anderson.

Durant gets the block wearing one shoe

The second best play involving a lost shoe this season. Ron Artest still holds that #1 spot.

Rick Rubio Report

I found this scouting report on Ricky Rubio today-- http://thepaintedarea.blogspot.com/2010/01/checking-in-on-ricky-rubio.html --thanks to the Painted Area. I am really excited to see Ricky play in the NBA. There is a lot of skepticism about his NBA prospects, perhaps somewhat deserved. I think Ricky will be a great NBA player though. He matched up all right with Chris Paul, Jason Kidd, and Deron Williams in the Olympics, which is what he'll have to do night after night in the NBA. By the way, it's worth noting that Ricky is playing with a UC alum on Regal FC Barcelona, none other than Pete Mickael. I always thought Pete could have made it in the NBA. He scores off some nice Rubio feeds in the video clip on Painted Area.