End of an Era in Cleveland?

I know, the Cavs are out of the playoffs and there's still more basketball to be played until someone hoists up the Larry O'Brien Trophy in early June, but until then, here's another post on the last Dank Game-endorsed squad to be eliminated from the playoffs. This is a collaboration between myself and guest writer/Dank Game loyalist, Andy Young.

So this is a post I have wanted to make for quite sometime and maybe it’s a bit late, just like the Cavs' performances in the last three games. Enough has been said about LeBron, but now speculations that crazy Delonte West had an affair with LeBron’s mother have begun to surface. The authorities are citing this as the reason why LeBron went from averaging over 30 points per game in the playoffs to just over 21 points and over 6 turnovers for the final three games. I mean really, West having intercourse with Miss James is like Peter and Paul running a train on Mary. (The biblical Peter, Paul and Mary, not the shitty folk band from the 60’s) The “WITNESS” shirts might have to be recalled until this scandal subsides. I’m sure West was too busy freestyling about barbecue sauce to sweet talk Miss James into something that's finger lickin' good, but then again, maybe she is trying to conceive the next greatest thing to ever happen to basketball.

But let's talk about the rest of the team. Shaq Fu, I love you but you're old. Just about as old as the original Aristotle. Like his free throw shooting, Osama Bin Shaq was just too slow to make a difference defending in the paint against Jake Sully (Kendrick Perkins looks like an avatar) and Big Baby, who won’t be crying until he faces Dwight Howard or is yelled at by Kevin Garnett. Speaking of Garnett, let’s not also forget the Big Ticket's fade away jumpers that no one could defend. Not even "Wild Thang" Varejão could stop KG, who did come up pretty big with his frantic offense and constant effort, excluding the time he quit playing because he was bleeding and begging for a foul call. Overall, the Cavs just looked about as pathetic as the Flats in Cleveland.

You have to feel for Big Z, who hardly played despite taking one for the team and leaving for 30 games in order to bring in Antawn Jamison. It must have been rough for Z having to sit on the bench and watch the guy he was traded for get absolutely destroyed by Garnett. Jamison was supposed to be the guy who was going to take the Cavs to the next level, but he came up short just like Shaq and Mo.

So what does Z do now? He'll have to take a pay cut if he wants to finish his career in Cleveland, and chances are he won't return if LeBron bolts. He's been quoted as saying he'd rather stay home with his family if he'll be in a suit or be doing cardio all season long. At least Mike Brown will probably be gone, so if Z does return he won't be benched when he's on the verge of breaking another franchise record. Big Powder, as he will be known on Dank Game from here on out, could very well spurn the Cavs and disappear forever more, much like his doppelgänger Jeremy Reed from the film Powder symbolically abandoned society and disappeared after being struck by a bolt of lightning.

As for where LeBron might go, I have a little question to ask teenage_mustache. Your Oklahoma City Flaming Lips are playing a show with the Akron-based Black Keys in New York. Figure that out. Will LeBron team up with the Thunder and then move the entire team to New York? I'm sure LeBron has enough clout to make it happen and New York could use another NBA team with the Nets' move to Brooklyn a few years behind schedule.