Brooklyn Thunder? Not Gonna Happen

For the first time in Dank Game history, one of our popular conspiracy theories has been lobbied at yours truly, teenage_mustache.

Specifically (if you don't feel like clicking the hyperlink above or the "read more" link on the post below), SlimMcBitchTits and some hack co-conspirator Andy "the turd" Young have suggested that LeBron's looming free agency could impact my beloved Oklahoma City Thunder. The suggestion is as laughable as the Cavaliers' defense against Garnett and Rondo.

While I appreciate Andy and Slim trying to look past the obvious - recognizing OKC, Northern Ohio and NYC interests convening at an opportune time - let's look at the facts. First off, the Thunder is one of the few teams that truly doesn't need King James. I'd like to remind you that Durant actually outscored LeBron this season. I don't see Durant and LeBron on the same team outside of the Olympics. Someone even asked Durant via Twitter (KDthunderup) if he'd like to see the Thunder sign LeBron and he responded more or less to the tune of; 'no, this is my team.'

Second, while James would certainly like to play with a guard as solid as Russell Westbrook, numbers 0 and 35 already have Jordan-Pippen type chemistry going. As the Cavs proved last season with the Shaq and Jamison acquisitions chemistry doesn't develop overnight, and what Westbrook and Durant have going will likely be a critical partnership for perhaps the next decade. Oklahoma isn't going to get rid of Durant in the hopes of a more expensive player possibly being a little better.

A third and final reason: I think it's pretty obvious James is going to stay in the Eastern Conference. Everybody says Chicago, New York, Cleveland. He's too scared of Kobe to try to turn around a team like the Grizzlies or the Clippers that might be closer to being contenders than people recognize. And once Kobe gets too old, Durant will be right there to battle LeBron for league supremacy. Wherever LeBron lands in the East, within a few years the Durant led Thunder and the Fighting LeBrons will be the two teams at the top of their respective divisions.

Since apparently LeBron is a playoff choker (not my contention for the record, but commonly cited nonetheless) and Durant's Thunder are the only team that seems to have challenged the Lakers whatsoever in this year's playoffs, I look forward to some rings on OKC players' fingers.

Sorry LeBron. I hope the insane amounts of money you're going to earn will be a nice consolation prize.