Remember my inside scoop guys? When I worked in the Bengal's locker room and unloaded ALL KINDS of insider information on this very blog?
In case you thought I was bullshitting you, go back and take a refresher course. Note how I said 1st round pick Andre Smith looks like he's in terrible shape and that the report that he might be back in a couple weeks is clearly wrong.
As you can see, I was dead on in my assessment. Never doubt me, Dank-Gamers - I am your God.
Just to rag on the Bengals a little bit for being so stupid: Why are they wasting a roster spot on Smith when they could have put him on the P.U.P. list? (I'm pretty sure they didn't do this, but I don't feel like looking it up, so I'll just assume I'm right - I usually am). If they'd done that, he wouldn't have been eligible for the first 6 weeks of the season, but clearly we won't be playing by then anyway. Why cut a guy like DeDe Dorsey to make room for a player who can't play?
(Dank-Game community: Please note that I am not suggesting that Chad Ochocinco is, or ever was a communist)
Well, it's almost October, so it's Breast Cancer Awareness month in the NFL . . . Wait, what? Not that I have anything against funding breast cancer research or anything, but given the fact that football is a sport that only men play (with extremely rare exception), I'm a little confused as to how this developed. Probably has something to do with the fact that Favre's wife is a breast cancer survivor.
Anyway, around the league, various parts of the NFL wardrobe will be pink next week to show awareness for the breast cancer cause (seriously, who came up this?) I was not excited about this for any reason until Ochocinco tweeted last night that he plans to take this wearing pink thing way too far.
Although the pink wardrobe will only officially be around next week, the Ocho says he plans to wear pink the entire month of October. And not just the very limited elements we'll be seeing elsewhere. He also tweeted that he'll be "wearing all pink gloves, shoes, and wrist bands" and later added a chin strap and mouthpiece to the list.
Lastly he added that he'll match any fines the NFL gives him with a donation. Guess he was serious about setting aside $100,000 for fines this season!
Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk pointed out that this actually puts the league in a precarious position. Ordinarily, the league can easily fine Ochocinco as he is in clear violation of the wardrobe requirements. This time however, he is doing it in support of a cause that the NFL is supporting with mandatory participation of all players. So if they fine him, it sends a mixed message.
Pretty smart Chad.
In an unrelated note, on the preshow to Monday Night Football, Chad publicly asked Obama to borrow Air Force One on Mondays so he can easily travel to every MNF game. Wow!
Ok, some more old news in the sneaker world. This latest Hot Red colorway of the Nike Air Griffey Max 1 is pretty hot. These shoes have been coming back pretty hard as of late. It wasn't a big surprise as I consider them one of Nike's best efforts from the 90s, which obviously says a lot. I've really been feeling these new colors, to the point that I might even favor them over the original Freshwaters and the Royal Blue joints. I just came across a pair of these "reasonably" priced on eBay and I'm having trouble getting them out of my mind now. Tune in next week to Confessions of a Shoe Addict when I debate buying the Air Penny II Triple Blacks for the sixth time.
It's pretty old news that Dwyane Wade has made the jump from Converse to Jordan Brand. I was initially uninspired to write about it because he was building up the impending news via Twitter right around the time Odom was feigning an interest in signing with Miami (I know, I just can't get over it). When the news finally broke, I was pretty disappointed it didn't involve free agency, but I was intrigued by the possibilities of Wade being endorsed by Jordan brand. Now, thanks to a post from Nice Kicks, I'm suddenly looking forward to seeing what D-Wade will be sporting on the hardwood next season. I mean, it will obviously be better than this or this. Sorry Converse, but no amount of React Juice can make those shoes any better.
NiceKicks.com: "There is no doubt that both of these sneakers coincide with the Miami Heat jerseys; however, both of them may be a little too loud for the NBA’s preference. For example, the black Air Jordan 5 seems like a no-brainer, yet when the bright arena lights hit the 3M upper it will seem like Wade is sporting an all-silver sneaker. As for the red pair, it may be a little to eye-catching and head-turning for David Stern. If you recall, Stern fined MJ for wearing the Air Jordan 1 because of its vibrant color."
It's been a minute since I've written anything about the NBA, and now that media day is past and training camp has started, there's suddenly more interesting things to talk about than Lamar Odom's hasty marriage to reality TV's Khloe Kardashian. Speaking of which, I've been speculating their marriage was the deal breaker for Odom's potential Miami reunion. I probably should've written something about Delonte West being arrested for carrying two hand guns and a shotgun after being pulled over on a three-wheeled motorcycle, because, y' know, that was pretty fucked up. Also, I guess the richest man in Russia is going to buy the Nets, which will probably lead to their highly anticipated move to Brooklyn. Not in a Golden State: Some of the biggest news to come out of media day is the bleak situation the Warriors have found themselves in. After being fined $25,000 for publicly requesting a trade, Stephen Jackson doesn't seem phased as he continued to express his desire to be dealt. Obviously the league is employing a ridiculous double standard with this fine, as Kobe bitched and moaned all throughout the offseason in 2007 without any consequence. As for Captain Jack's desired destinations, he'd like to end up with Cleveland, anywhere in Texas, or New York to reunite with former Warrior Al Harrington.
As if the drama with Jackson isn't enough, Monta Ellis has said that he and rookie Stephen Curry can't work together as a backcourt as Warriors management had envisioned. Ellis says he has no hard feelings towards the Warriors for drafting Curry, but because they're both small guards, he doesn't feel they can produce wins playing together. Man, what a disappointment this team has been since that glorious upset against the Mavs in the first round of the 2007 Playoffs. I wish I could say that I still believe, but what's left to believe in.
KG Questionable: While I don't normally take pleasure in people being injured, I couldn't help but do a fist pump upon reading the news that Kevin Garnett's bone spur in his knee is more serious than he initially realized. After missing much of the end of last season and the entire playoffs, the Celtics have been pretty quiet about his injury. Garnett has had minimal health issues throughout his 14-year career, so he insists that the injury has forced him to take his health more seriously. Details remain vague.
Cut like a Prizefighter: Along with media day and training camp comes the inevitable rhetoric from coaches and players alike about how the players are in such great shape. Starting with my team, the Miami Heat, coach Erik Spoelstra has been gushing about Jermaine O'Neal's improved health after an offseason of working out in Chicago with noted trainer Tim Grover. Grover has received much attention after helping Dwyane Wade return to form last season. Spoelstra has said that Jermaine looks like he did during his All-Star days in Indiana, but even stronger. JO reportedly has looked much better moving around and can apparently jump again, which would probably be beneficial to to the Heat this season.
Elton Brand will return to the Sixers after recovering from a shoulder injury that kept him out the majority of last season. He's also recovered from the previous season's torn Achilles tendon. According to teammate Thaddeus Young, Brand has been a "monster" on the court, while GM Ed Stefanski says that he is "cut like a prizefighter." We'll have to wait and see if this can translate to wins for the Sixers, as last year Brand's presence seemed to throw off their fast paced offense.
Rajon Rondo has added 11 pounds to his frame which he insists is "all muscle." Judging from this photo from the Celtics' media day, Rondo really does look substantially more muscular. Dude used to be pretty bony. On the topic of Rondo, Celtics GM Danny Ainge has said that he started talks last week with agent Bill Duffy on a contract extension, as he is entering the final year of his rookie deal.
Beasley Ready to Go: I feel the need to follow up on my my previous post about Michael Beasley's now infamous tattoo picture in which two baggies in the background appeared to contain weed. Beasley claims that the bags weren't his as the photo was taken at the place he got the tattoo. He insists he isn't addicted to drugs, and the reason he was checked into a Houston rehabilitation center in the first place was due to his involvement in the incident at the rookie symposium last year when Heat point guard Mario Chalmers, the Grizzlies' Darrell Arthur, and Beasley were caught in a room that smelled of marijuana. I'm guessing there must have been other missteps along the way considering Chalmers wasn't sent to rehab with him.
Beasley apologized to the Heat organization and its fans for his immaturity and insists that his time spent at the rehabilitation center has helped him out. As for those supposed "suicidal Tweets," (I can't believe I'm typing that) Beasley has said that he posted those after hearing his time at the rehabilitation center had been extended. Although I wouldn't go posting some shit like that on the internet, I'd also be pretty pissed if I found out I had to stay in rehab longer. Beasley says he is now through with social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace.
The 'stache is back to fill the void left by a lack of online writing about professional sports.
Week Three was pretty interesting in the NFL, as several of the undefeated and winless teams so far come as a complete surprise. None of these surprises me more than the Carolina Panthers. Losing big to the Cowboys last night, I am wondering where the Panthers that won 12 games last season went. The NFC-South once again has flipped its standings from top to bottom from one year to the next. Excepting the Saints, the whole division looks a little weak.
Speaking of New Orleans, I believe they are the best team in the NFC right now. Even without Drew Brees throwing a touchdown (which will be a very rare occurrence this year), the Saints still handily beat Buffalo. Next week they take on the 3-0 Jets, and this one should be a blockbuster.
That won't be the only great game next week either. As I already wrote extensively about the AFC-North yesterday, I'll just move on.
Ravens at Patriots - This game will go a long way in determining who dominates the AFC this year. The Colts are easily tied as contenders, and it looks as though the Jets are somehow in the conversation.
Cowboys at Broncos - If the Broncos go 4-0, I will be shocked. The Cowboys need this game to keep pace with division rivals Philadelphia and New York.
San Diego at Pittsburgh - The Chargers need to catch up to the Broncos, and the Steelers are already two games out of contention in the AFC-North. These teams usually match up well, so this could be a very close one.
Green Bay at Minnesota - Ignore for a second the Brett-Favre-vs-his-old-team story line, and you'll realize that would have been a great game anyway. A win would suddenly put Green Bay at the top of the division.
The Bengals went 2-1 Sunday, their best record after 3 games since 2006. The bigger news however is that they beat the fucking Steelers!
This win at home (which is sometimes jokingly referred to as Heinz Field West because there are always so many goddamn Steelers fans in attendance) broke a number of streaks the Steelers had going against the Bengals. More importantly, it keeps Cincinnati in 2nd place in the AFC-North and moves the Steelers down to third.
As this was the first of three straight divisional games, it was critical to win this. Now Cincinnati has a chance both of the next two weeks to pull into first in the division. They had a chance this week, but nobody really thought the Browns would take down Baltimore (and it wasn't even close).
So next week Cincinnati heads to Cleveland who managed all of three point against the Ravens. Now that the Lions ended their historic losing streak, you can bet the Browns will find their way to the bottom of many pundits weekly "power-rankings," challenged only by the Rams and the Buccaneers. So if the Bengals lose this game I won't even know what to say. Assuming a win, Cincinnati would have a 2-0 divisional record. Looking at the rest the AFC-North next week, Baltimore heads to New England and Pittsburgh plays prime-time host to the San Diego Chargers.
Baltimore looks very, very convincing on both sides of the ball this season, and if they are the best team in the AFC, as many pundits have suggested, there is not a better place than Foxborough, Massachusetts to test the notion. Although the Patriots look more beatable than they have in years, this should be a long, close game that the Ravens could easily lose.
In Pittsburgh, the Steelers will have their hands full with a very talented Chargers team. Although Pittsburgh's defense is still very good, San Diego was able to put up 26 points on an excellent Ravens defense in a close loss. If the Chargers can get pressure on Ben Roethlisberger, or force turnovers, they will win this game.
So this means that Cincinnati escaping next week with the only win in our division is a strong possibility, moving the Bengals into first outright, as the Ravens will only have a 1-0 divisional record. Of course, this is somewhat of a moot point, as even if the Bengals are 3-1 and first in the division outright, they still play in Baltimore the next week. So either way, this game will be played for the top spot in the division (unless the Bengals go down to Cleveland and Baltimore beats the Patriots, and I refuse to even imagine this possibility).
Still, I think a week 4 loss by the Ravens coupled with a win by the Bengals would give Cincinnati all the momentum they need leading up to their date in Baltimore. And assuming the Bengals go 3-0 in their division for the first half of the season, I think the sky becomes the limit for a time most wrote off after week one.
Maybe for once the Bengals really are on the rise. And if they do drop off the face of the planet in the weeks to come, at least the Bearcats look awesome. Football is suddenly interesting again in Cincinnati.
Check out this infomercial spoof for Vitamin Water featuring Canadian celebrity Steve Nash and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. Nash is pretty funny, but 50's testimonial is definitely the best part.
Awesome! Now that SlimyFavorite has changed our blog's matra from "rants about sports, music and shoes" to "seems nobody wants to hang out in a dank pit no more" I can write about what people like to do in dank pits - Drink beer!
As gun-welding, bible thumping, AM 700-listening Republicans, we here at the Dank Game are particularly excited about autumn, as it ushers in a new hunting season.
Err - actually we couldn't care less that it's hunting season. Nor are we very interested in guns, 700, or the thumping of bibles. I don't think any of us have even been hunting, although HAMS has some West Virginia in his family so I can't be sure.
However, thanks to Miller High Life, guys like us have a reason to get excited about hunting season. I think I can speak for all of us Dank Gamers when I say that the now annual High Life "Hunting Packs" (for after the hunt, remember!) are great.
Draping the best workingman's beer in America in camouflage, or the solid orange variety from last year, is like seeing a beautiful small town girl in her prom dress. . . . Which means drinking High Life out of a camo can is like taking a girl out of her prom dress . . . OK, this analogy is a little strained.
For real though, what's not to love? I especially loved the orange cans because they were perfect for Bengals tailgating. And although they're back to Camo this year, you can bet your ass that I'll be drinking one as I watch the Bengals kick the Steelers ass this Sunday.
These retro Charles Barkley kicks were originally released in 1988 and saw a retro release in 2004. They're now available at select House of Hoops locations and have just become available online at Osneaker for $160. There's plenty to like about these shoes: classic Nike style, vintage 76ers colorway, and Barkley's #34 embroidered on the back. With that said, I've never been crazy about shoes with the low strap. Always seemed pretty useless to me. I just really couldn't justify dropping the loot on these. Still pretty sweet shoes, though.
According to Ryan Lillis and Tony Bizjak of the Sacramento Bee, current mayor of Sacramento and former 3-time All-Star point guard Kevin Johnson has said that the Kings might leave Sacramento if efforts to build a new arena fall through. KJ became aware of the issue when the NCAA bypassed Sacramento's bid to host the regional round of the men's basketball tournament in 2013 at Arco Arena. Although details remain vague, NCAA officials claim they were concerned about the conditions at Arco Arena.
Ok, Cincinnati... this is the moment we've all been waiting for, right? RIGHT?!? Ok, so maybe I'm one of few Cincinnatians that dreams of one day bringing the Royals back to the Queen City, but if you ask me, NOW is the time to take action. This is a golden opportunity we can't let slip away. Cleveland has three professional sports teams, and we all know Cincinnati is better than Cleveland.
So far, I've started creating an online petition at iPetitions.com, but I got stuck at the part where you're supposed to list your sponsors. I'm guessing a blog called Dank Game probably wouldn't be the most effective sponsor for this cause, so if anyone out there is reading this and knows of a legit sponsor hoping to bring pro basketball back to Cincinnati, let me know in the comments section. I'm sure there's someone out there, right? Ok, probably not.
A coworker of mine told me that Cincinnati Royals legend Oscar Robertson frequently eats at Montgomery Inn, so I'm thinking that the best plan of action at this point is to eat ribs night after night until I see the Big O in person, with BBQ sauce covering his face. I'm sure if I state my case he'll get behind it both morally and financially, right? So, if anyone is in the mood for ribs tonight and every other night until we see Oscar, get at me. I know I'm hungry for the world's greatest ribs, how about you?
Back again, Mustache is bringing you his thoughts following week 2 of the NFL season. (As a side note, I'd like you all to sing "Baba O'Reilly" by the Who in your heads when thinking of me, replacing the lyric "Teenage Wasteland" with "Teenage_Mustache")
What a great weekend of football it was. The Bengals won, the Bearcats won, and the three teams I hate the most all lost. If not for a close Baltimore win, it would have been a perfect week.
Let's start with the biggest story of the week, the Pats going down the lowly Jets. I thought the Patriots were a lock to win this division after winning 11 games without Tom Brady last season. I also thought that Eric Mangini had train-wrecked this team, dooming them to mediocrity for years. But apparently quarterback Mark Sanchez was worth his draft status, as the Jets are now 2-0. And the Patriots look like anything but their nearly unbeatable 2007 selves.
Looking at where Mangini landed after the train wreck, the Cleveland Browns look like a 53-car pile-up (that's the number of players on an NFL roster - I couldn't come up with anything more clever). They lost to a good Vikings team week one, but looked absolutely awful against a poor Denver team that is somehow 2-0. I said before that I thought Denver would be the worst team in the league this year. I now believe that team will be the Browns. Jacksonville, Kansas City, Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay will also be pretty awful, but most of these should come as no surprise.
The Bengals bounced back to beat a team on the road they were supposed to lose to. They looked shaky, with tons of penalties and the offensive line is still struggling, but the defense held their own with tons of sacks (mostly from Antwan Odom) and generally good play against a powerful offense. If they can pull out the win against the Steelers next week, look for the national media to start talking about them as a playoff team (or talk about them at all at least)
Two teams that have really impressed me so far this year are the Saints and the Colts. I picked the Saints to win their division, and I'm quite thrilled with their performance through two games. Drew Brees is on pace to throw 72 TD passes (let me be the first to say there's no way this will happen - but he may very well beat the 50 TD record Brady set in 2007). Their defense looks improved enough to build on the highest octane offense from last season.
The Colts have surprised me, as I thought this could be a down year for them. Almost their entire coach staff turned over, and yet Peyton Manning continues to impress. The MVP race is looking like a showdown between Brees, Manning, Adrian Peterson and maybe Philip Rivers and it's only week two!
"Dusted 'N' Disgusted" from In a Major Way E-40 featuring Spice 1, 2Pac, and Mac Mall Produced by Mike Mosley 1995
I've never been especially active in keeping up with rap producers, but since I've gotten into West Coast G-Funk, the name Mike Mosley has frequently come to my attention. With "Dusted 'N' Digusted," Mosley provides the funk in spades. The militant bass line gives the track a raw sound, but with the use of some pitch-bending bells, it also has a peculiar whimsy. And to give it that true West Coast sound, there's an array of amazing synths throughout the track.
The song starts abruptly with E-40 on the mic, rapping about one of his mans getting dusted on some shady shit, which he reveals at the end of the verse to be set up by a woman. This develops into the central theme as the song progresses. It's more apparent by the time Spice 1 and 2Pac get through their verses, mainly because E-40's on such far out shit. For instance, at the end of his verse he says, "I know this one bitch that'll double dribble and set 'em up y'all / She likes the Monie in the Middle, play tetherball." I know that "Monie in the Middle" was a hit from 1990 by the British, Natvie Tongue-affiliated female rapper Monie Love, but I have no idea what that has to do with playing tetherball or anything else for that matter. I was a beast at tetherball in elementary school, by the way. I invented a move called the Genie. Seriously.
Spice 1 delivers the second verse, which finds the ruthless, Texas import dropping some impressive tongue-twisting rhymes. The aforementioned theme of women setting shit up becomes more apparent in Spice 1's verse, and even more so with the chorus.
E-40 comes back in with a short verse after the chorus, talking about plotting revenge by causing commotion on the other side of town so that they can "wait for the po-po shift to change." And, of course, that's when it'll become a "ghetto shootin' range." This all leads up to E-40 introducing 2Pac on the track.
2Pac comes out as hard as ever, continuing with the theme as he talks about being suspicious of a lady fixing to set him up. The verse is basically about him going after this woman and being ready for war at any moment. The end of his verse sums up what the song is all about when he says, "If you was smart figure, don't have no love in your heart nigga / Any complications pull the trigger, dusted 'n' disgusted / Bitches can't be trusted, you know the rules / They underhanded, she planned it, you fuckin' fool." 2Pac's delivery of those rhyme schemes is some true perfection if you ask me.
Mac Mall gets the ball rolling at the beginning of the fourth and final verse. Speaking of Mac Mall, his album from 1993 called Illegal Business? has been on loop in my car these days. Unfortunately, he only gets a brief moment on the track, but he definitely delivers. Mac Mall makes his Bay Area allegiance known by referencing E-40's song "Captain Save A Hoe" from the 1993 EP The Mail Man. Then he ends his verse on a hilarious note when he says, "I'm like Sylvester Stallone, everyday is like a Cliffhanger / Action packed, I let the mini-mac smack that ass."
Spice 1 comes back in at the end of Mac Mall's portion of the fourth verse, spitting his usual intimidating rhymes. He makes it known that he has no love for "low pink," which is a pretty hilarious term I've never come across before... I'm guessing that one's pretty self-explanatory. E-40 slides in at the end of the verse and drops some crazy tongue-twisting rhymes, balanced by some more modestly paced rhymes in between. He's pretty good at that, by the way.
The chorus closes it out. Revenge is had.
Here's a music video for a different version of the song, featuring Celly Cel in place of 2Pac. I'll let you go ahead and dissect Celly Cel's verse on your own.
arsenal came back from the dead yesterday to beat the significantly less talented belgian league champions standard liege after conceding two goals in the first 5 minutes of the match. the first was the result of some retarded flashy backheel shit by eduardo, who later redeemed himself by scoring the winner with his kneecap (which he kissed in celebration). the second was a bullshit penalty, which the referee later made up for by awarding belgian native thomas vermaelen an equaliser despite an obvious handball by alex song. the real gem in the match was bendtner's hope-restoring goal that came right before halftime:
the angle is insane (as is diaby's assist), and the luck of the ball making it though the keepers legs makes it that much sweeter.
i know i said i would avoid posting a whole lot of news, but this past week has been too wild to keep quiet about. dickhead ex-arsenal striker emmanuel adebayor has been handed a three-match ban for stamping on robin van persie's face (see the above photo) in his ridiculous display of hatred for his old club and their fans during the 4-2 defeat at manchester city last weekend. this suspension is independent of the one he might receive for running the length of the pitch (as ben said, more than he ever ran for arsenal) to celebrate in front of our supporters section, sending the fans into a brief fit of chaos that saw a match steward hit and injured by a thrown object. aside from the two aforementioned incidents, adebayor also made a red card worthy challenge on arsenal captain cesc fabregas early in the match that could have easily broken the skipper's ankle and apparently slapped alex song in the face to top it all off. the suspension is nice, and will hopefully cost man city as many or more points than we lost in that aburd match, but i can't help but wonder whether we would have seen a different result had he been rightly sent off for one of those incidents.
anyhow, we face wigan at the weekend, and i expect a rout!
Well, he'll actually have to score a touchdown first, but Chad Ochocinco has told reporters in Wisconsin that he plans to do the Lambeau Leap. For those unfamiliar, this is when players jump into the stands behind the end zone after scoring.
Of course this ritual is usually reserved for Packers players, since it's their fans seated there. But Chad doesn't care. In fact, he apparently expects the fans to "embrace Ocho."
Ochocinco has never played a game in Green Bay, but this act actually wouldn't be unprecedented for him. In 2007 he announced he would jump into the Dawg Pound (the section behind one of the end zones in Cleveland), and he did. Browns fans did not embrace the Ocho however, they poured A LOT of beer on him and shouted expletives at him. Video below:
So we'll see how this one goes. Hopefully Chad actually does score a touchdown. At the very least, it's a lot safer when Chad enters the stands than when Ron Artest does.
Right SlimMcFrostedTips? (For real, Slim had the tips of his hair frosted. I told him it was going to look stupid and he didn't believe me.)
It's amazing how set in stone a team's fate seems after week one. Every team that won is playoff bound, and every team that loses is doomed to spend the season drifting further and further away from a playoff berth.
However, this instant optimism and pessimism are misleading. For example, the Chargers started each of the last two years with multiple game losing streaks and yet still made the playoffs. Meanwhile Dallas and Buffalo got out to fast starts last year, but neither ended up playing in January.
So rather than re-evaluate my playoff predictions every freaking week, I'm simply going to speak about trends and observations I see after each weekend of NFL football.
1. The Eagles might be as good as advertised. They destroyed the Panthers at home, a team that did not lose a regular season home game last year. If they have a weak spot, it's that McNabb suffered a broken rib in the shellacking. Vick is still suspended until week three, and Kevin Kolb isn't very good so the Eagles today signed free agent Jeff Garcia. The last time Garcia played for the Eagles he led them to a late season playoff berth, so with Vick in the mix too and McNabb not officially out even for next week, I imagine they'll overcome the setback.
2. The Broncos suck, but the Bengals suck more. At least for now. Clearly a defense that can hold a supposedly offensive minded team to 6 points (plus another total fluke touchdown in the last minute) should win the game. If the Bengals offense can find a rhythm and start scoring some points they could actually turn it around. Meanwhile, if Denver beats Cleveland at home next week (which they easily could), do not expect much more. I still believe this is a clunker team, coming off a win that may also be a clunker team, about to play a team that is definitely a clunker team.
3. Dallas faithful shouldn't start looking toward January yet. They beat Tampa Bay, almost certainly a league bottom-dweller this year. They play the Giants next week, which will be a much, much better test.
4. The bay area can suddenly play football again. San Francisco beating Arizona, in consideration with their strong finish last season after Mike Singletary took over, is strong evidence of a team rounding the corner. Too early to say if they'll compete for a division title, but don't be surprised. Oakland, although losing to San Diego, at least looked good for the first time in recent memory. JaMarcus Russell looked sharper than last season, one of the rookie receivers played decently enough, and the running game was quite formidable. They will likely steal some games from elite teams.
5. Adrian Peterson is amazing. Favre wasn't great, but he didn't make any major mistakes and the Vikings did win the game.
6. Either the Saints are really good this year (especially their offense), or the Lions are still terrible. Likely a combination of the two. I still think the Lions will win at least one game this season, but why not extend the streak for a little while first?
Until next week, or until Ochocinco does something crazy.
Because Mustache was busy working in Columbus today during the Bengals' opening home game against the Denver Broncos, I feel obligated to say a few words considering I was at the game. Because I hardly know anything about football, I'm not going to say much. But I think I know enough about football to say that the Cincinnati Bengals looked like absolute shit today. From what I've heard, the Broncos were expected to pretty much suck this season and the Bengals were supposed to have at least a chance of being mildly formidable. Again, I know absolutely nothing about football, but I think those chances can be thrown to the curb now. I think I'm going to end my rant here, as I have nothing of substance to add, and if I continued to write it probably just be more drunken doom and gloom. God, that was a terrible game.
Yesterday, yours truly worked for 12 hours at ground zero: Paul Brown Stadium.
The best part: I spent some of that time in the Bengal's locker room.
So guys, pay attention. This is likely the only time I will have any sort of "scoop" on a sports team. Unfortunately I could not take any pictures, but here's what I've got:
First and most important - Carson Palmer. I didn't see him run or throw footballs, but he was walking around nimbly without any brace on his ankle. It appears that he is already recovered from the ankle he sprained in the preseason.
Next up Andre Smith. Fuck. Whoever reported that his stress fracture would only keep him out for 7-10 days is either a spin-master or a moron. Days after the injury, he was milling around on crutches at the pace of an elderly woman. Maybe it doesn't matter so much. He wasn't likely to contribute much in the early goings of the season anyway after his 90 day holdout. I anticipate that he'll be place on the Physically Unable to Preform list to start the season, and not placed on the active roster until the last possible moment.
Rey Maualuga. Dude is hilarious, and might as well live at Paul Brown Stadium. On a day with no practices he still put in something like 12 hours. Interestingly enough, he and Shayne "Where-da-party-at" Graham were palling it around for much of the day. Quite the odd couple.
Graham is returning from a groin injury, but looked fine. The club had confidence enough to release their camp replacement kicker, so I'm sure he's recovered fully. David Jones is also recovering from an injury, but he looked to be in good shape, walking around quickly and pain free. Scott Kooistra (unsurprisingly nicknamed Kooister by his teammates) - another injured Bengal backup - didn't look to far from returning to the playing field either.
I saw several other players as well, including Bernard Scott, Michael Johnson (who is tall as fuck), Brandon Johnson, Dhani Jones (super nice guy) and Dennis Roland, plus coach Marvin Lewis. The only real disappointment is that Chad Ochocinco was there, but didn't really say or do anything entertaining. Not that he was an asshole or anything, but I've come to expect nonstop antics from him. He did work out in boxing shoes and a big robe that says Ocho Cinco on the back, so that's a least one nice touch. He was also incredibly ripped. Apparently that boxing regiment he endured this off season paid off.
Well, that's all I've got. Until next time (which as far as Dank Game inside scoops go might be never) this is Mustache signing off.
Let's see you get an exclusive scoop on the Heat, SlimMcFatTits!
I meant to post about these the other day, but instead, risking what I can only assume is a really substantial amount of clout in the sneaker game, I'm posting about it now. I've never really been that huge of a Dunk fan, but, as I mentioned in my previous Blazer post, Nike Sportswear is seriously on it. Where Nike SB, or even Nike proper, might release some technicolor bullshit to keep the 15 year old mallrats happy, NSW opts to keep it simple, instead using materials ("premium" canvas) and construction (vulcanized midsole?) to set it apart. The Nike Dunk Hi Autoclave (btw, an autoclave is a device to sterilize equipment and supplies by subjecting them to high pressure steam at 121° C or more-Wiki) is set to release September 29th, once again at select NSW retailers (sorry Ohio).
i know this is 10 minutes long, but there aren't any annoying slo-mo replays, just tons of goals and a few crazy assists. there are some mind numbing clips... i don't understand how dude does what he does. he's listed at just over 5' 7", but i am pretty sure he is smaller than that. all of these are pre-arsenal, and there's a lot of these moves i would love to see him pull off for us this season.
as a bonus, the goal he scored in the tragic loss against those faggots last weekend, several minutes after he was denied an obvious penalty:
been a minute since my first post, but i seriously doubt my fellow dank gamers were losing any sleep over the lack of arsenal coverage. i am gonna try to not write too much about the day to day politics of the team, cuz there's a lot of people who do that shit way better than me, but i am gonna talk some shit occasionally and post nasty goals.
speaking of nasty goals, which i was, peep this one from the boy boy aaron ramsey for the welsh under-21 team against italy today (check the backheel flick he takes to set it up):
our midfield is so deep this year! even with nasri, rosicky and wolcott injured, we still have so many options. song, cesc and denilson (first goal of the season!) as a starting midfield trio is a great combination of creativity and defensive ability, and behind them we have the likes of ramsey, wilshere, and merida to come in and attack off the bench. i am very encouraged by the pairing of gallas and vermaelen at centerback... let's pray the boy stays fit.
man city is next weekend, and i will be shocked if we don't beat the shit out of them. it will be toure and adebayor's first visit to emirates since their departure, and the crowd will be hostile. ade might score, but i really doubt they'll beat us.
guess that's it... i might post this arshavin goals compilation in a second. shit is outrageous.
And in an obvious follow up to yesterday's post, here's Dank Game's NFC season preview that you were so excited about.
West
I see a lot of flux in this division as compared to last year. I do not see Arizona repeating a playoff run, although their offense will likely continue to put up big points. San Francisco is a rising star in a poor division, and just good enough to edge out a Cardinals team that will win few games outside the division.
Seattle dominated this division for years, and lost their own Superbowl to Pittsburgh, but even with the addition of T.J. Houshmenzadeh, the window on this team has likely closed. Meanwhile the Rams, who have been terrible for a couple years now, will just barely edge out Seattle for the number three spot in the division while still falling under .500
South
I see the NFC South getting shaken up as well. I really believe New Orleans has done enough to upgrade their defense to win this division, as tough as it may be. The offense will be as potent as last season, and the Saints will likely run up the score on the NFL's bottom feeders.
Last year's division winner, Carolina will remain in the playoffs, although through the wild card. They will be chased by a good Atlanta team, who will just barely miss the playoffs. Meanwhile, it appears Tampa Bay has collapsed. With a new head coach and still not fully decided starting quarterback situation, Tampa will be in a distant fourth.
North
I didn't make any changes in this division. However, I do think the Bears will make the playoffs this year via the wild card, and Green Bay may very well have a winning record. Detroit to bottom out the division is too painfully obvious to bother explaining.
The Vikings are a hot team this year following the Brett Favre signing. The team is basically the same as the one that won the division last year, but with at least a slightly better quarterback situation. And Chicago will be imporved with Jay Cutler behind center instead of Kyle Orton. And Detroit will win at least one game.
East
I briefly wrestled with the question of whether to put Philadelphia or New York on top of this division. I'm starting to think that much-hyped Eagles are over-hyped and I don't see what the Michael Vick signing really does for them. But they are still a more complete team than the rest of the NFC, and Donovan McNabb is a better quarterback than Eli Manning. New York will be close to a wild card berth, possibly losing out on a tie-breaker scenario.
Most expect Washington to finish the division in last place, but I think they're a better team than advertised. Dallas fans seem to use T.O. as a scapegoat for last seasons playoff miss, but I do not think this team has improved, and see them falling probably a game behind the Redskins.
I have to post these now, a week before the regular season begins, so we can either look back at how much of a genius I was, or (more likely) make fun of me for wasting my time with a ridiculously incorrect outlook. To that end, I will predict the playoff teams, but not actual playoff results. I'll do that come January, so in February we can either praise me as a football-savant, or (more likely) make fun of me!
So let's begin:
West
This is as good a place to start as any. The Chargers have locked up this division for several straight years, and given how bad the Raiders and Chiefs have been for a while, the Chargers are virtual locks to repeat. Denver was within one game of winning the division last year, but a late season meltdown (and that's being kind) and a rookie head coach have led to a disastrous offseason. They lost their Pro Bowl quarterback and will probably lose their leading receiver. I wouldn't be surprised if the Broncos were the worst team in football this year. Yes, worse than the Lions.
I have the Raiders in second, largely because they will win games in a weak division and have the talent to take a few surprise games here and there. The new regime in Kansas City is more promising than in Denver, but the turnaround is very unlikely to happen quickly.
South
This is a tough division to predict. For years it has been dominated by the Colts until the Titans burst through with the best record in football. The Jaguars were pegged as the hot team last season, but collapsed almost immediately after a solid postseason to tend their 2007 campaign. The Texans keep going 8-8.
While I don't think the Titans will have the best record in football again, and although they lost star defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth, I think they still have the pieces in place to repeat a division crown. I think Houston is poised for a decent year, and are possible rising stars. A wild card berth seems possible. I'm sure I'll regret this prediction, but this will be the first year the Colts don't go to the playoffs in a long time, although they may still post a 9-7 record. I find it unlikely that Jacksonville can find their stride in such a tough division.
North
Yeah that's right. I put the defending Superbowl champs at third in their own division. Ben Roethlisberger was sacked a ton last year, and their relatively poor offensive line wasn't fortified with any notable free agents or draft picks. It seems likely he could go down this season. The Ravens will meanwhile continue to have a serviceable offense while maintaining a top notch defense, despite losing Terrel Suggs.
Cincinnati appears on the rise after a solid offseason. If Carson Palmer stays healthy a wild card berth seems within reach so long as they can win divisional games. The Browns will be one of the bottom three teams in football. Not only is their new coach, Eric Mangini, not a very good coach, but he is stepping into one of the worst rosters in football. Ten days out from the start of his season and he hasn't named a starting quarterback!
East
It's almost impossible to imagine the Patriots not winning this division. Without Tom Brady last season they still hit 11-5, and if it weren't for a tie-breaker with the even-record Dolphins they would have won the division. It is doubtful that they'll have another perfect regular season, but on paper this team is just as good. Meanwhile, Miami will take a step backward, probably ending the season around .500.
Elsewhere, the Jets are in rebuilding mode, and will probably have a long season ahead of them. Buffalo I think could be an exciting team, and while I don't neccesarily think that they'll be playoff contenders, I do think end the season with a winning record.
It's been a while since any new Ron Artest craziness has surfaced on the internet, so I was pretty excited to come across this hilarious video of Ron Ron singing my "Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. I dare you to find Ochocinco doing something more bizarre than this, Teenage_Mustache. I must admit, Chad buying earrings at Claire's in Kenwood Mall last week on Hard Knocks was pretty bizarre.
Remember my inside scoop guys? When I worked in the Bengal's locker room and unloaded ALL KINDS of insider information on this very blog?
