awesome

andrei as marty mcfly dodging stevie gerrard and his liverpool teammates, and covering them in shit. makes me feel slightly better after the draw at burnley. love eboue's cameo as the shopkeeper!
z

the genius of jens lehmann, and sweet victory over liverpool

ex-arsenal keeper jens lehmann has always been a complete lunatic, but he has been outdoing himself lately. here, he abandons the goal to piss in a trashcan by the sidelines during a recent match for stuttgart. jens is smart enough to know that you can't effectively tend goal with a full bladder.


lehmann will always be remembered for getting himself sent off in the fucking champions league final (first player ever to do so) for arsenal several years back, and he works his magic in the CL here for stuttgart:


today, jens' successor did what he could to try and throw the game away for us with his complete inability to deal with crosses, but was rescued by liverpool defender glen johnson's hilarious own-goal and andrey arshavin's brilliant strike in the second half:

love his celebration, and the fact that he runs over to wenger for a pat on the head after the goal. relieves me of some of my anxieties that he has completely given up on his career with arsenal. while i would still be surprised if he didn't end up at barcelona after this season, i am glad that he is relishing in his current role as main striker. hopefully he can get us through our van persie-less spell, which looks as though it will be pretty long.

arshavin goals

i know this is 10 minutes long, but there aren't any annoying slo-mo replays, just tons of goals and a few crazy assists. there are some mind numbing clips... i don't understand how dude does what he does. he's listed at just over 5' 7", but i am pretty sure he is smaller than that. all of these are pre-arsenal, and there's a lot of these moves i would love to see him pull off for us this season.



as a bonus, the goal he scored in the tragic loss against those faggots last weekend, several minutes after he was denied an obvious penalty:

basketball doesn't start until october: booooooooring!

while my boy slim here waxes nostalgic about the 08-09 NBA season, i am busy preparing for a far more stressful and important endeavor that is about to get really real in like 8 or 9 days: arsenal's coming premier league, champion's league, carling cup, and FA cup campaigns. i've only been following the team for one season, but the i'm already feeling the nausea and anxiety that comes with supporting a football[1] club. in the offseason, we have replaced kolo toure at centerback with thomas vermaelen, and sold striker emmanual adebayor. there is a possibility that we'll bring in this moroccan dude who looks like a brown cristiano ronaldo as a replacement for adebayor, which i am pretty much ambivalent about, especially given dude's appearance. while i would welcome any player that could help us win games, i'd rather see our current talent show than import somebody who whines to the media and bears a resemblance to my least favorite footballer in the world. besides our more proven strikers: van persie and eduardo (please stay fit!), we have three other forwards in vela, walcott and, yes, bendtner who i believe are capable of winning a trophy in at least one of the aforementioned competitions this season. in the midfield, i am real excited about seeing more from last year's midseason acquisition andrey arshavin, seen here scoring a physically impossible winning goal in the 90th minute last weekend at the emirates cup (a preseason competition):



and for posterity's sake, his four-goal appearance against liverpool:



our captain, cesc fabregas (no youtube testimonial necessary), could well have the best season of any footballer in the world. nasri, who scored on his debut against the third most hated club in the premiership: manchester united, is sure to continue producing and enforcing once he's back from injury. denilson will prove the haters wrong, and youngsters aaron ramsey and jack wilshere are ready for breakout seasons, especially in the FA and carling cups. wilshere's two-goal performance against rangers last weekend has him in the discussion for england's world cup side:



[1} i know it sounds pretentious, but it just sounds retarded to refer to the english game as soccer. whatevs...