Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Butt Buddies For The Win

It's no secret that Ron Artest has a bizarre relationship with Kobe Bryant. For instance, in 2008 when Kobe and the Lakers fell short to the Boston Celtics in the Finals, Ron Ron walked in on Kobe while he was showering by himself. Artest told him that he was going to come to LA and help him win a title. I can only assume he pat Kobe on the butt on his way out.

Artest idolizes Kobe. Just watch this clip of Ron interviewing Kobe before they were teammates.


You don't even have to watch more than a minute of the interview to figure out that Ron is completely enthralled by Kobe. He seems to hang onto his every word and stroke his ego with nearly every question. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Ron proposed that he stroke something more than Kobe's ego after the cameras stopped rolling.

Kobe enjoys the interview almost as much as Ron, if not more, as he seems to bask in every moment of Artest's idolization. Although the two have had some fierce battles between one another, such as last year's Western Conference Semi-Finals, I think it's safe to say that Ron Ron and Kobe are butt buddies. And because of this, I am cheering for the Lakers to beat the Boston Celtics in the Finals.

During the regular season, Artest stated that he would take the blame if LA didn't win the championship. If they fail to overcome the Celtics for the second time in three seasons, Kobe will undoubtedly be furious with Artest, and I don't know if Ron has thick enough skin to deal with his idol being upset with him. As much as Ron acts like a tough guy, it's obvious that deep down he's just a big old softie, at least from an emotional standpoint.

If the Lakers lose, it could very well crush the soul of Artest, rendering him a shell of his former self. This would obviously be a catastrophe. Not only would his critically acclaimed label Tru Warier Records collapse, but more importantly, Chad Ochocinco would rise above Artest as the craziest athlete in the world.

And so Dank Gamers, that is why I will be cheering for the Lakers; to maintain the insanity of Ron Artest. I've put in too much work to prove to Teenage Mustache that Artest is far more insane than Ochocinco to see it all go to waste.

On the real though, I just want Ron to get a ring. I mean, he deserves it.

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