A Face Only Pittsburgh Could Love

I'm not going to bother getting into the specifics, but for the second offseason in a row, Ben Roethlisberger has made rape charges more or less go away. Maybe he didn't do it, maybe it was consensual, whatever. I do want to type Rapistberger once, but if I am to respect the letter of the law I must point out that Big Ben was never proven guilty.

However, look at this fucking picture. Jesus Christ, the only fatter starting quarterback in this league has got be JaMarcus Russell, and I'm thinking Ben could give him a run for his money. Then there's his hair. Did he comb it with a fork and crisco on his way out of the Waffle House?

This is the press conference where he apologized to Pittsburgh fans! He could shave? He couldn't iron his shirt? At least he's wearing a belt, although it is a bit sad he needed cue cards for his apology.

Good God man, pull it together. Maybe that motorcycle accident from a few year ago knocked the brain out of his head.